well it's day 8 of me not smoking
I have not picked up a cigarette in 8 days now wow
but I feel like I could puke right now.
well, it's been 6 days since I stopped smoking I can't believe it how time flies when your not paying attention.
even though I was a little crabby yesterday at the pool I jumped down my aunt's throat I'm waiting for someone to hand me a cigarette but I won't take it cause I cant.
well, I made it to day 5 of not smoking...I woke up with my aunt giving me a funny look and not talking to me for some reason when I did nothing wrong but wake up I should go back to bed but I'm not I don't care what she thinks what I did wrong.
I'm trying to be in a good mood but she's not making it easy for me right now she better not start on me for no reason cause I will just ignore her that's the best thing for me to do right now cause shes being a bitch and she didn't even stop smoking and shes being a big-time bitch right now.
well, I went to Dunkin donuts with my aunt and got myself a large ice coffee but the manager there was rude to my other aunt over her coffee so we had to go to the other Dunkin donuts to get hers guess we won't be going to that one for awhile ugh how I hate rude people it gets on my last nerve.
well it's day 4 without smoking it's getting better for me but the coughing is still there
well I made it to day 3 of not smoking yeah it's been really hard but I'm doing it for my health cause of my breathing problems so I have to do it rather I want to or not yeah I've been smoking since I was 17 years old.
I can't wait for the coughing to stop it's getting on my nerves yeah I'm always going to have this coughing cause of my COPD but it will get better in time I'm hoping my aunt will stop smoking as I did but I'm not sure she will she promised me she wouldn't smoke in the house anymore but she still is.
my aunt made dinner last night but I wasn't that hungry at the time I did eat some of it though I just couldn't force myself to eat much of it even though it was good.
I'm sitting here listening to the tv and leveling up here a little I made it to sire after all this time of leveling and working my butt off on here for hours at a time.
it's going on 3 days tomorrow since I quit smoking and I'm going to keep going not even going to pick up a cigarette anymore cause I'm going to be healthy again no more breathing trouble for me now my aunt Judy, on the other hand, she will have breathing problems cause she's still smoking.
now I'm happy cause no more smoking for me yay I'm so glad for myself ill be able to walk again without having trouble anymore even my aunt rose is happy for me cause she was worried about me.
I'm thinking about going to lay down for a while I've been feeling a little jumpy today hoping things work out for the best since I don't smoke anymore my aunt still smokes in the house which makes it really hard for me to not smoke.
but I'm going to do this without any help I need to get healthy again it's been a long time since I've been healthy and I'm gonna do this all on my own with no patches, yeah it's going to be really really really hard for me guess my aunt won't be stopping anytime soon ugh she promised me she would stop with me.
but its all good I can do this on my own cause when I put something in my head I attend to do it.
(day 2) well, today is rough right now but ill pull through cause I need to do this cause of my breathing isn't that good so I decided to stop smoking and see how it goes.
right now I'm sitting here drinking coffee and trying to relax a little before my aunt starts calling my name cause it seems like she does it all the time but it seems like I'm going to be a little crabby right now which sucks but I know I can do this I got it set in my head that I can pull through without any help.
I hope people don't push me right now cause I could just punch someone right in the face right now ugh
well the day is almost over with and I'm doing pretty good with not having any cigarettes even though my aunt is smoking in the house right now but it's not bothering me at all right now I'm talking to Lana on messenger she taking my mind off of smoking right now I'm hoping it will get easier for me.
(Day 1) first day of not smoking anymore can't believe I'm doing this cold turkey with no help oh boy this is going to be hard to do hope I can do this without fighting with my aunt Judy she always finds something to fight with me about.
I can't believe I'm awake this early woke up unable to breathe thinking I'm going to stop smoking cause of it don't really need it anymore think once I get something in my head I do it I need to get healthy again no ands or buts about it.
I don't know about my aunt rather she's going to stop smoking or not cause she keeps saying she will but i don't believe her at all but when it comes to me I'm gonna do it I know it going to be hard to do but I don't care.
I've been on here all day leveling up and also talking on messenger with Julie I haven't been on Minecraft all day it's not like me not to play Minecraft at all.
just got done eating so I'm nice and full now...I had a very long day today with everything going on went over to my aunt's house for a while and then came back home for dinner which was really good we had steak and potatoes for dinner.
now I'm sitting here leveling and talking on messenger and thinking about logging onto Minecraft for a while but I'm not sure just yet what I'm going to do yeah Minecraft is fun to play I'm just so tired and haven't taken a nap yet.
had such a good mother,s day I got a message from my daughter wishing me a happy mother's day which made me happy to know she thought of me on this day I haven't heard from her in a long time it was so good to hear from her.
I went out to eat with the family for mothers day it was all you can eat im still full though my aunt wanted to know what I wanted for dinner I told her that I was still full from lunch.
there was a bad storm but now there's a tornado watch out right now so I'm sitting here watching tv and leveling up a little made it to 103 so far I'm hoping I make it to 110 soon.
there have been days I just wanted to just give up and dig myself a hole and just crawl in it and just hide there from people the memories of stuff that happened to me when I was younger I feel like a pray it just won't leave me alone.
sometimes I wish it never happened to me but it did it drives me freaken nuts at times I never talk about it to anyone cause all they will tell me is suck it up buttercup so i keep it to myself even though its not good to keep it locked up inside.
I did some walking today and then went to visit my aunt rose for a while and then went back home cause she and her husband went out to eat with their friends so i logged onto Minecraft and vampire rave and did some work on my land and did some posting on here also wrote in my journal.