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Waking in a small hut
Cold air bites my face
I must set out to begin the day.
The fire has gone cold.
Only a few embers now.


Opening the door there is only stillness
Snow covers the ground thickly
Only the sounds of birds in the distance
The smell of the ice cold water coming to greet me
The sun slowly peaking through to the fjord

Axe in hand I start to wander along the water
The wildlife is plentiful
There are tracks near
Wild boar and some small game

Its peaceful being out here
This is my forest
I am its guardian as its my home and provider
The village is a obnoxious place, full of boastful fools

I walk slowly back to my home
Taking in the beauty of the world around me
Three of the fish traps were successful
I have plenty of herbs left to cook these

It is a simple life
A life I paid for with raids and bloodshed
A warriors life it was but it shall not end in Valhalla
To Helheim I go one day, gladdened that it ended in peace.

May the air leave my body in slumber
That I may lay tranquilly in bed
No one shall weep or know of my passing
Only the land and the spirits that inhabit here.

Well a few years back I was lucky to meet someone special. But at the time I didnt know how fuckin special. I knew from first sight that she was unique and I couldn't quite place why. A few years pass by and now I know why. She is my twin flame.

Now you may be asking wtf is a Twin flame. I will try to make this simple lol. It is like a soul mate but on roids and the connection is extremely intense. A twin flame is the literal other half of your soul. There is only one while there are several soul mates. There are so many arguments against the existence of twin flames. Some say its a form of anxious attachment style which can be a very valid point. I say that because a TW is sent to trigger you, to make you grow in the physical and spiritual realms. They expose you to your weaknesses and hard points in life and you do the exact same to them. A soul mate doesnt do that lol. TW have mirroring lives, likenesses , Weaknesses or the opposite of your weakness could be their strength. They are your other half so imagine it as almost a "ying yang" concept. One could be very shy and the other courageous for example but still mirror in other ways. They are meant to complete and complement you in all your forms. But the journey is extremely hard, although I say the challenge is well worth the reward. TWs come to earth to not just complete each other but to complete a mission. Soul mates have a similar function but come with different lessons. I was lucky enough to experience a TW and a soul mate at the same time, also a karmic mate lol.

So as you raise your spiritual vibration by experiencing life lessons and growing in your own way you may eventually run into your TW. It most times is love at first site or an unexplainable magnetism . You can Experience triggers you never knew existed in yourself just by being near them or seeing them. for example, being a confident person most of my life suddenly was insecure and a stumbling idiot infront of her. Later found out through shadow work it was related to an abandonment wound. Recognizing it, doing the work to fix this in myself, and healing it made us grow closer. Its not all easy but makes you and your TW a stronger person in the long run and also a better couple. There are different stages in the twin flame journey some for example are the chase, union, separation, and running. You can also experience fun things like if your TW touches their arm you can feel it or if they are thinking of a certain thing you are most likely thinking the same thing. This connection or telepathy is unique and grows stronger as you work on the connection. I know when she wakes up, is hungry, upset, stressed, and also certain personal things lol. Its nice but also has its draw backs like "is this my depression or hers?" or "why am I so mad for no reason?". We have also discovered our medications effect on another.

You may think Im over exaggerating but I promise I am not. We have both experimented with telepathy and weird "twin games" as we call them for about a year now but have noticed it for 8 years. We just didnt know what we were to each other for awhile because we hadnt reached that point in our individual paths. We had advanced enough to meet and start the journey but as in all TW things there is a lot of obstacles that kepts it at bay for quite some time.

Now that we have a general explanation of a TW connection I will tell a bit about mine.

I guess I shall start at our meeting....It is a long story so I apologize in advance.

The first time I met my TW was a odd moment. In most TW connection there is a age difference. I had gone to visit my cousin when I was about 14. She lived in an apartment complex at the edge of town and had just moved to an new unit. She didnt specify which on other than it was a downstairs one. So took a guess at 8pm to knock on a possibly angry residents door. I knocked hesitantly, the door opened to about 7 people all piled together watching a tv. My eyes went to this kid around 9, I remember her eyes and her gaze met mine. I felt an off sensation. a weird anxiety that made me curious but also want to run. The person who opened the door directed me to where I needed to go kindly. But I had never forgot that or that feeling.


About 10 years after that, Im 24 and now living in the same apartment complex with my male best friend ( future EX) and my wife. We had just had a messy break up with a mutual roommate in Colorado and had to come home to start over again. I had started to work as assistant GM at subway and my wife and friend working along with me. A few months go by and I notice my friend, we will call him AC, kept hitting McDonalds multiple times a day.

I asked him why and he said "There is this really cute girl there but I cant talk to her Im to shy".

I laughed it off and another 2 months pass. Its summer time and not much to do so me and AC went for a ride in the truck at 3am. As we went down a certain road we noticed a figure skateboarding. I thought how strange, at this time?
AC gasped as said " thats the girl from McDicks!"
At this point I decided to fuck with him and said "pull over, say hi and ask her if she needs a ride". The panic in his eyes set in lol and I kept fucking with him until he decided to pull over. I admit I was curious about this girl who had his eyes for these last few months.

As we got closer, I thought " how neat, another female skater and its a nice board too. I really like her jacket and from the back her hair looks cool. Not the norm for this little town thats for sure."

When the truck stopped, she stopped. Now I dont know if that was fear lol or curiosity. I mean we were acting pretty creepy and the time of night didnt help. He called her over and i still couldnt see her face as she walked closer. He moved his head to make room for us to see each other. It was strange, Just as he moved our eyes met and that feeling hit again but it was slightly different. My heart started pounding. her eyes never left mine, like my friend never existed lol. She leaned in with out fear as my friend was trying to talk to her. My next thoughts were "omfg shes beautiful, look at those eyes, damn shes brave coming up to this truck with two creeps in it lol".

I took over for my stumbling friend and said" Im sorry for my friend, would you like a ride?".
She looked puzzled and cautious but said yes but was smart and jumped in the back. The whole time I was teasing my friend about having his crush in the back of our truck. After a short trip we dropped her off, she came to my side and asked for our numbers. After that began this Journey Im on now.

A few weeks go by and I have been posing as my friend flirting with her over text. I admit I started to get smitten and also felt guilty because I am married to a wonderful woman who has made my life way better. But I couldnt control it and kept going, thinking it was harmless. We finally invited her over, my friend was so nervous. That first visit was awkward them. He was never the smarted person and had a lot of self esteem issues. So I took over the convo, time flew by and after awhile we both realized 5 hours went by. We some how ended up on the back balcony of the apartment. I smoked cigarettes then and she followed me out to keep up the convo. I wanted to test the water out of curiosity. I told her " know I have to confess something, Im The one behind the text messages".
Her face bloomed red, I could see her cheeks under the moon light and the reflection in her eyes. I admit I had thought i fucked up. Ia small inner panic hit me on the inside that i couldnt explain at the time and now I realize it was her that I was feeling panic from me telling her that. She said in reply "That makes a lot of sense, He doesnt seem smart enough of speak like that or confident enough". I couldnt help but laugh and so did she. since it was late it was time for her to go home and AC took back in the truck. That night I couldnt help but to smile constantly.

After that night she kept coming over more and more. It took me a while to snap she was coming to visit me. I admit my self esteem wasnt the best at the time and I couldnt find a reason in the world why this walking goddess wanted to converse and spend time with me.

I admit I was falling unexplainably in love with a 17 year old out of nowhere in a way I couldnt explain. I felt guilty for many years because of this. But I pushed certain things out of my mind and the possibility of us ever being together in any way. If I could send a message to my past self and tell her that we now are with her and our wife, I think the old me would have laughed in disbelief.

There is so much more to this story that I will elaborate on later. It honestly is one of the happiest parts of my life and maybe one day Ill show my TW this. But for now, its a outlet of all my mushy romantic thoughts I have to express in private.

Tonight marked the last night of "Vetrnaetr" or in English "Winter Nights". It is one of the main blots in the Germanic faiths. It is a day of thanks and remembrance. To Speak and connect with our dead in many a manner. It usually is a 3 night celebration of feasting and sacrifice to the gods,alfs,ancestors, and vaettr ( land spirits). In Scandinavia many people travel to their family plots or mounds. Even mounds of past heros and kings to commune with the dead in order to gain knowledge and keep the connection alive between the living and dead.

Here in the states you can do the same thing in a sense by visiting a relatives grave. During the visit there are usually gifts/offerings made to the dead. Back in arch heathen times this often was blood of a sacrificed animal, this practice is still common depending on country and availability or ability to do such. They would pour it on the mound or grave. But most today usually replace the blood offering with mead or a type of wine. You can also leave other offerings that you know that the ancestor would have enjoyed, like cigarettes, apples, candy and so on. Some people also preform Utisetta ( sitting out) which is a type of Seidr (Norse Magical/Shamanic practice) that allows travel into the world of the dead through meditation on top of a grave site.

The main body of the blot was dedicated to the gods of harvest, usually the Vanir god Freyr was the main recipient since he was the god of harvest and fertility. Other gods and goddesses included Freya his twin sister, Njord, Thor, Gerd, Jord, and of course the All Father Odin.

It was a time to give thanks for the harvest, to look back at the year so far and what has been accomplished. Also a time to prepare for winter and cull the animals that wouldnt make it through the harsh winters of the north.

Next would be to honor and sacrifice to the ancestors. Speak of their lives, struggles and sacrifices. To give thanks to them and the part they played in making the life you have now.

Lastly would be the alfs and land spirits. this is done to continue the respect and bond between the human and the land. The land spirits have the power to kill our crops and live stock but also make them plentiful and bring much abundance if treated properly.

Winter nights marks the beginning of the winter with the first full moon after the equinox.



I wish you all a well Winters Nights! may your connection to the dead be strong and the blessings of the gods shine abundantly upon you and yours!

Hail the Gods of the Asa and Vana!
Hail the Ancestors!
Hail The Vaettr!