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Souls of passion seem forgotten.

"Awake my darling friend. Eons have passed and have awaited your arrival."



"Toss my shroud. Wash the blood out first so it may leak through the city's streets and give life to the dead."



My friend did this. He never questioned nor wondered. He seemed to understand. Throughout the streets things began to sprout. The blood fed the dying plants. They thirsted for lifeline that I had kept to myself for so long. Bathing and rebathing in the same old blood made me rot of anger, hate, and pain.



I am refreshing my blood by giving up the lifeline. I give up its woes to the streets of a dying courtyard. It will be reborn through my past pains to open the gates at the end of the road.



The more I give the more I'll live. The more oxygen I breathe in the more I can feel my insides move. They dance in celebration. The torn shroud floats down the river.



"Dear friend walk by my side on these streets and show me what I have done."



His ebony hand took my wrist. "Come," he said. He pulled me past the dying hedges into the worm filled orchard. The apples had rotted black and the oranges had plummeted to their deaths. Insects of all kinds several inches long had grown from this dying fruit. My neglect of soul killed everything.



He took me to the river on the other side of the city. My tomb I exited looked beautiful from this side. So ornate and ancient, appreciative. That's not why my friend brought me here. The river's sand was ugly. It was mucus green like feces and been dumped on the entire bank. The river was guided by the dead tree limbs and dead racoons from my stupidity.

"I see what I've done. And I have sent my blood out to fix it."



"You can show your amazing spirit."



"I don't know if I can bring out again sunset after sunset."



"You can. You just may forget. But you'll remember. You don't have a choice. Look around you. This is my favorite city. You can show your spirit, it just may take some effort."



Don't worry Kyle, I will.

Hi. How are you today? I'm ok. Life is such a bite in the nose. After, the cold leaves the darkness comes, the demons pursue and the angels thrash. The angels come and run along with you. But you never have a chance to tell the demons to run away. The angels take care for all of those impossible things that life cannot bear. The realm of darkness is filled with love.

The demons ran away today. They left me to the angels to sweep me up -- my broken body caught on the lace of my dress. The darkness underneath me raged against the angels. Machinations spread the floor. The demons fell to the floor, the screams were so high pitched I couldn't hear them. But I am positive they were screaming because the angels darted adn slammed against the wall. One began to bleed. The blow to the head seemed too much. It fell. It bled more and more. The river began to cover me. The angel never fell to the ground, but fell on my chest. The lacy dress became a beautiful scarlet. It seemed to make it velvet. The darkness still swarm around me until the angel's blood fell on the darkness. It swirled into a fire that died immediately. The darkness just couldn't take a blood so sweet. The blood was on my arms and I cried. I couldn't hold the tears in anymore and I cried. The first time I had blood on my arms and it wasn't mine. It was used for me and I.... I.... I cried blood. The loss of blood I deserved had finally been undone. The pleasure was no longer there and I opened my eyes to see the angel healed and my dress was now red. They stood me up and I fell to the ground. Finally, I could find my way home.

Run down the stairs and into the house. I'm spinning on the floor in a straitjacket. You can't miss me...but you probably will. In love with insanity, you know I cannot be with you. I am too in love with myself to really understand true love. All I know is passion. A passion that locks me up and doesn't let me out. It screams inside my brain and wants to be let free. Every time I let it free I get put in this gown - it is white with long sleeves that wrap around me twice and fill my mind with suspicion and apprehension. Trapped in my mind I rage. I bang my brains out and as they drip to the floor, my heart weeps with pity . It enjoys this. It loves to wreak havoc on me. It forces me to cut into the wood beneath me as I writhe on the floor gasping for oxygen that never existed. Only in my mind did life exist.



The old wooden floor begins to creak with creatures of the day and creatures of the living. They break open throwing me to the wall and making my head bleed with the blackened passion I have. It oozes down my face and tries to eat out my eyes. My eyes shut in horror, but I can't seem to get it out. I'm too tied up to try to save myself from this destruction. So the Angel slides down my sternum and splits up grabbing my breasts from the side. It pounds through my chest and through my ribs. Every thud it makes makes me wail. The Angel slowly conquers my heart, but does not thrust through it until every major part of my body oozes with it. It sneaks down my belly button, filling it as it passes and grows down to my lips where it fills every crack and every hole around the seam of my body. Smoothing and cooling me down it goes down my legs forming a design similar to dead tree limbs reaching out for help they cannot find near them.



Loneliness seeps into my brain more. The Angel in my heart goes to find my lungs while I gasp for breath; It fills me with cool liquid that I feel is filled with death and no release for myself. No where for me. Walking alone, nowhere for me/ To go/ I live in this past/ Which I cannot/ keep away from me. I sang this to myself over and over. It looped in my head, but I had to stop when the Angel filled my trachea with its liquid and suffocated my brain while it made me spew it out.



I spewed with such volatility that the black liquid scintillated as it came out my nose, my eyes, my vagina, and every pore in my body. Jack the Ripper could not have come up with such an amusing and sweetly masochistic torture.



Unbound I stood and all my clothing turned to black... a new black skirt and a new black bra and a new black corset. The only thing that didn't change were my boots. My knee high boots remained the same, they were already black and I have to keep them where I go because they are where I went.

SCHREIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



STein UM STEIN!



Mauer ich dich ein!!!!



STein Um STein!





Corpses jump out at me

Cobwebs crash against my face

They get under my skin into my veins.

Surrounded by the death of my sanity I try to carry my burden.

The stench of death stays with me.



And reality whipsers in my ear;

"i cant keep anyone in my life who says they love me."

"i knkow whwat thats like"

"then i figured i cant live without them"

"i know but they keep leaving me"

"i know"

"why do people want to leave me"

"bc no one likes to stay"



The statement rings in my ears adn down into my soul where sprial staircases take me down into different parts. The fight between myself and my thoughts lies in a puddle of blood.

Another whisper: " i like staying"



It chills my bones and ices them over. I don't like staying. Staying requires work. Hard drawn out long life unfilling labor. Labor like child birth, but the pain endures all your life.



The catacombs warm my deepest thoughts and ritualize their patience. My hands.....bloody as they are, I've come to love them. I want my past and I want no future. I want my strength and I want no weakness.



The catacombs fill me with awe, but I can't see. I don't understand!!!!!!!!!!! Why is it that life is unfulfilled if there is no one by my side!!!!!!!!!!!

Circled in deceit, I run like an animal within my confines of injustice. The life I've led has been far from living. Deadened heart within me rises to a close. A door sinks its teeth into me, but never I am its conqueror. I lose time and again. A lost tigress to her awful mind. I circle and circle awaiting the energy flow to a beam in the heavens. There is none. No solitude. A guilty conscience is as much an enemy as a friend.

A conscience begging for freedom, for forgiveness. I never give it either. A tigress must stand her ground, she must conquer, win all of what lies beneath her status. The lower castes are despicable, each one free in its own right to move about in larger confines than mine.

Now my conscience chews at me. It whispers for an apology and forgiveness, redemption-I am no Saviour! SAVIOUR! None such am I. Weeping along, weeping through life, every good memory has its bad. Memories of the past I cannot give. I must spur off from here! Damnation and curses fall on me abundantly as I ride away in my mind. I have to go I have to cry, I must leave this place. Black magic worked its way on my mind. With little devils prancing right outside my ear. I awake in the depths of the sun, no ethereal light has cast its shadow on me. Just light. Bright, scorching, parching SCREAMING light! SCHRIEN!

If I had a knife I could escape this being almost dead. I could wean myself off the ideas that the past has left behind. Time has made this tigress mad, she lies now.

She lies and lies and tries to stop...the manipulation. Round the circle I go again. My confines become warheads. Pumping out arrows they shoot me down; unfortunately, I never die. The blood oozes out making a river near every head. Glass shards of these stick in my eyes, my mouth, my ears, my hands.

A doll girl ran past the dead. They reached out for her through their incarcerated selves. her pure heart carried her through the deception. She went to the menagerie to take out her puzzle. She laid it on a marble table, circular in nature. She began to take out the puzzle pieces. One by one she saw how they fit together, and slowly she was acheiving her goal. Unfortunately, when she was done she went back to the box. She was missing a piece. The round table turned, and a pentagram showed up beneath the puzzle. It burned a spicy red. Two concentric circles forced their way up in a foreign material. It was hard and unbreakable. Fire did not burn them away, a sledge hammer did not bust them apart, and water did not dissolve it. So the doll girl stood distressed and disappointed. Her tears began to cover the puzzle. Six hieroglyphs arose between the circles.



She knew she needed the puzzle piece. She knew where to find it. But the man who had it was on a quest. And so, as time went on and she weas unable to find him, various demons came out to haunt her. Until one day she lost, and they took her soul out of her throat. They left her body for this odd saviour to find. Later he found her with holes for eyes and maggots for teeth. He finally understood. His quest took too long. He put his puzzle piece where it belonged and the demons returned her soul, her beauty and a stronger love than she had ever had was given by the Dvine and his angels in celebration.