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lordvampirio's Journal

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6 entries this month

 

Assholiness #4

21:35 Mar 19 2006
Times Read: 909


The Bitch and The Asshole left Hyvinkää behind and headed on to their new destination. On their journey they passed Dnjeprpetrovsk from where they got to the secret place of Be Ching. You will have problems finding a mortal who has ever seen this place. In Be Ching they thought they’d find the peace and quiet to have another one of their infamous conversations.

The following is an excerpt that got into my possession:


Lord Assholio: you should be buying your first bra soon ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: I did yesterday :D

Bitch Bloody: it*s all pretty with flowers

Bitch Bloody: and it's pink too

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: and it's a push up bra to make my almot non exitant boobies lok bigger... so that guy will ask me out :D

Lord Assholio: you have learnt well from her ;)

Bitch Bloody: ohh I know she's my private tutor

Lord Assholio: so sad

Bitch Bloody: all I need to do is to lick her... since she can't get some herself

Lord Assholio: her pers ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: pets even

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: she must be paying them well

Lord Assholio: a blowjob every now and then ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: i think she needs to look for a new job now lol

Bitch Bloody: as what? a whore?

Lord Assholio: no, thats what she already is lol

Lord Assholio: but since she doesnt want to see people right now how would she have paying customers?

Bitch Bloody: I think it's the people that don't want to see her

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: well, then she can go into the animal loving business ;)

Bitch Bloody: as a sheep she would fit right in

Bitch Bloody: having dogs licking her

Bitch Bloody: eeewww

Lord Assholio: or licking the dogs ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: how does a sheep moan?

Bitch Bloody: never heard one so I couldn't tell lol

Lord Assholio: meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: i have to be very careful when i eat shephards pie next time lol

Lord Assholio: fucking typos lol

Bitch Bloody: you better not eat it at all

Lord Assholio: havent had one since december lol

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: i have to rename she bop to sheepboob ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: omg

Lord Assholio: sheepboob sheep babaloopboob

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: yo're killing me ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: sheep ahoi ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: eww to think I used to like sheep

Lord Assholio: all they do is eat grass and give shit away

Bitch Bloody: sounds like her

Lord Assholio: it IS her lol

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: the fellowsheep of the ring ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: what does a customer say to her?

Bitch Bloody: no idea? lol

Lord Assholio: that was a sheep fuck ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO


COMMENTS

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BLOODdripingFANGS
BLOODdripingFANGS
16:00 Jul 25 2008

hahaha i find that a alsom read





 

I rest my Case!!!!!

14:00 Mar 17 2006
Times Read: 919


If you ever needed any proof here it is. I miraculously got hold of a test Bitch Bloody did regarding her Bitchyness/Assholiness. I do not think that it leaves any more questions open as to her personality!

I am 100% Asshole/Bitch.
Total Asshole or Bitch!
I am one of those people that love to hear the sound of their voice. That and my lousy attitude make for a mixture as toxic next-day-mexican-dinner-ass-drip.


COMMENTS

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Assholiness #3

23:00 Mar 15 2006
Times Read: 935


Hyinkää in the south of Finland was the place of another meeting between the bitch and the asshole. Only a few people live there and even fewer can pronounce the place properly. The asshole and the bitch never stay at a place for longer than a few hours. So let’s see where they will be sighted next time. The following conversation was the result of their meeting:


Lord Assholio: she says weed messes up your mind among other things

Bitch Bloody: *In her case I find it hard to believe that the weed had anything at all to mess up

Lord Assholio: it most definitely wont have now ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: lol the only thing she worries about is how to get attention

Lord Assholio: i think she still smokes it every day. thats why she lives in her own lala land lol

Bitch Bloody: lmao at least keeps her from realizing what a piece of shit she is

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: it helps her to think that she is a lovable person

Bitch Bloody: I bet she feeds her little pets weed too

Lord Assholio: *smokes weed* im cool, good looking, caring, faithful and the bestest friend you could ever imagine ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: and my boobs are huuuuge

Lord Assholio: and look at my firm tits ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: hahaha great minds think alike lol

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: *smokes another joint* dont think im paranoid but i think there are people after me trying to kill me. i swear ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: and all my ex's are threatening me because they can't forget about me and how wonderful I am

Lord Assholio: *smokes again* or is my mind playing tricks on me again? ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: naah... everything I think is true

Lord Assholio: yeah, coz weed is good for you :p

Bitch Bloody: the best medicine for insecurity

Lord Assholio: makes you feel good about yourself

Lord Assholio: and dont believe the shit others tell. they know nothing. im super cool and have to be given the love i deserve

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: now show me lurve and compliment me ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: and never mind my typos, I can't really spell anyway

Bitch Bloody: it's my own personal language

Lord Assholio: coz im polyglot. thats a big word and means i can speak many languages ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: that is bilingual + a few more other languages lol

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: omg


COMMENTS

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Assholiness #2

18:05 Mar 14 2006
Times Read: 944


After a few days in hiding the bitch and the asshole were at it again. They met at a secret destination and bitched and assholed as good as they could. It is reported that they have been meeting for more than 4 hours.

This is the part of their conversation i could get a hold on:


Lord Assholio: she is taking driving lessons now

Bitch Bloody: lmao she is what??? she must have given the teacher a blowjob if he's letting her drive

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: do you know what the horn sounds like?

Bitch Bloody: her moaning?

Lord Assholio: no

Lord Assholio: MEEP MEEP

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: LMAO!!!

Lord Assholio: and shes probably trying to use the instructors "stick" for gearing

Bitch Bloody: LOL I would be surprised if she could tell the difference

Lord Assholio: lol thats why theyre practising parking so often lol

Bitch Bloody: all she can park is the stick inside her

Lord Assholio: i dont really think she is good at that lol

Bitch Bloody: nah I guess the teacher must be pretty desperate

Lord Assholio: lol probably only 14 pretending to be older lol

Bitch Bloody: only 14? what a shame, I've heard she's more into 12 year olds now... think it's becasue they can't tell the difference between good and lousy sex

Lord Assholio: lol what would they want to do with her than? lol

Bitch Bloody: what any guy would do with her I suppose... get into her panties lol

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: that seems the place to be these days ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: only to be disappointed... pooor guys

Bitch Bloody: I wonder how many guys she's had running away from her once her panties are of

Lord Assholio: she couldnt tell coz she cant count

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO


COMMENTS

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Assholiness #1 (yes, it derivates from holy)

21:38 Mar 09 2006
Times Read: 967


Lord Assholio: do you know her first memory?

Bitch Bloody: what is it? laying in a sheep's tummy waiting to be born?

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO no

Bitch Bloody: lol enlighten me then

Lord Assholio: Falling down the stiars with one of her toys. she thinks she was like 2 or 3.

Lord Assholio: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: no wonder she's got a brain damage

Lord Assholio: i havent noticed ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: ROTFLMAO

Lord Assholio: it might also explain her nose ROTFLMAO

Bitch Bloody: I wonder what kind of toy it was..maybe she fell on it with her pussy....might explain her sexual behaviour..hmm

Lord Assholio: whoa that is way beloe the belt

Bitch Bloody: o_O that was so evil lol

Lord Assholio: yo uare such a bitch lol

Bitch Bloody: hehehe she brings out the best in me

Lord Assholio: lol it might also explain the funny looks i once found on one of her pics lol


COMMENTS

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Coming soon to a cinema near you.....

18:39 Mar 09 2006
Times Read: 972


In the future you will find some bitchy conversations in this section. The conversations take place between the world's biggest bitch a.k.a. Bitch Bloody and the world's biggest asshole a.k.a. Lord Assholio. Their true identities are the world's best kept secret.

I will not tell how i got into possession of these conversations. Let's just call it a miracle, shall we?


COMMENTS

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