"Life is but a dream on the way to death"
I KNOW MANY OF YOU ARE JUST GOING TO SCROLL DOWN TO JUST COMMENT AND RATE> COPY AND PASTE> BUT TO THOSE WHO TAKE THE TIME TO ACTUALLY READ WHAT I HAVE TO SAY...THANK YOU. I JUST WANT TO BE HEARD.
...Her eyes have been swallowed by the blood,
That these broken wings protect,
And though shes been forced to eat this mud ,
Her eyes of truth reflect,
Alone, the colors raining threw her veins,
And the vibes dancing in every faded heart beat,
In the glass, her image torn to broken,
As her secluded blood falls to her feet...
I am unsure on how to describe myself. Maybe I just feel it is pointless and if you take the time to think about it, looks are not important. Because deep inside our minds we are all the same: ugly and disfigured. In one form or another.
I dont believe in age only because some people like to use that to judge others. They may think that being 26 shows that you are more mature than someone that may only be 13 . We all go through shit in our lives. But the pain is all the same. The human body knows no different. And to someone that has just lost their loved one is the same amount of hurt as when someone looses everything they have. It is all the same.
Nor do i like society's fucked up lables. I cant even bring myself to say if something looks evil or dark because that is just supporting lables. Even by giving myself a screen name i am labeling. no one can win.
And with my quote-well it is not my quote because it is the quote from THE CROW CITY OF ANGELS. Any way the quote is very true. It is the same as saying life is a leasson you learn it whaen your through. And then you have what System says- We all grow up to die. How will you end?
I am a very religous person from many many different points of veiw.I am an artis and a writer. I am a musician and a fighter. Some days I am quite and other days I am loud. I am not inane. But I may on occasions be insane. But arnt we all to a certain extent? Or am I just speaking in circles once again?
I believe that those who wish to know me honestly want to know me. I do not often get attached to things and when I am at fault to my rules, I immediatley sever myself away from it. I dont believe on becoming dependant on anyone thing or person. Not that it isnt a challenge. There are so many intellegent souls that I would love to spend my every minute with, but again it remains imposible.
I greatly have an obbsession with the rain. It is so peaceful and forgiving. It reminds me of water color paints. Just the way they cry themselves on the paper. So soft yet so vibrant in its own way. If I could describe myself with one object it would be water color paints. What are you?
I am also very opened minded and I dont normally attact those who choose not to attack me. But when I am hit, I do all I can to end it in my favor. I have respect for myself more than I ever had. And no one will remove that from me.
All though I have my scars that seem to never stop pooring their crimson tears, and all though I have been stolen by the sudictive world of drugs and drinks... I have learned to escape. But I was given the power and knolledge to understand those going through the similar chapters of life.
I have not yet found my purpose in life and all though I have found the soul I wish to give myself to, it just seems that it wont suceed. Again do to the factors of what our Gods call 'Life'.
What is Life?
This is a question that I have no answer for. But there are so many possibilities...
Is this world just a game for the Gods? Are we all just individual players and they have already set up everything that is going to happen? DO we even live our own life? Is this all just a test for Judgement Day. We wont know until we recieve game over.
I have also begun to think that we are all alone. Because you yourself is the only actual being that is being tested. Everyone else is just a robot given certain tasks to follow out this Gods plan. you see we wont ever know the truth until we have perished.
Then there is the question : What happens when we die? Do we burn in Hell that is as bad as our world today? Do we just die and nothing goes on. Just like being trapped in a bitch black closet. Not being able to move think speak or anything. Your just dead. Or are our soul reused? For all we know this could be the 14th person Ive been but I just dont remember. THey ereased all of my brain. It makes sense. Why burrie things that can be reused. Its a waste.
Some may say Im tripping over nothing. But what they dont realize is: Im not tripping. Just simply facinated...
...Thank you to all that take the
time to read my thoughts...
I adopted a cute lil' dragon fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
Do You Realize How Bad Our Worlds Gotten?
I am now staring my walk. A walk to discover what I am suposed to do for others. How to make this world better. It almost seems impossible because you can never get rid of an idea. Once it is thought it cant be ereased. And this world likes to make those thoughts come to life just to see if it can take control. It will only get worse due to when ever someone builds a bigger mouse trap someone has to build a bigger one.
I dont think many people realize that the US has a bomb that can dismember us all. And it only takes one person to ask if it really works and then we ar extinct. Actually we have enough bomb power to turn the earth into dust nine or so times over. Someday someone might just push that button. And we arnt the only country that has it. Thanks to the ARMS RACE.
This world makes me cry. I was reading a book and it makes an exellent point. Why did mostof the survivers from the Holocoust became Vegans? Because they know what its liek to be slaughter like animals. It all makes sence.
And then there are all the movies and tv shows that feed our minds the thrill. But what it has done is make us numb to the fact that all the things you see actually are happing. Some where right now someone is dying, being rapes, or being forgotten. What is in us that makes us crave human suffering for entertainment? answer me that.
I adopted a cute lil' giraffe fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!
Again this world makes me cry.
It didn’t seem quite real. It seemed to be nothing but a night terror. Someone’s idea of a sick joke.
…The phone is ringing but I find it hard to wake myself up to answer it. The phone is ringing and I am beginning to doze off again. The phone is ringing but I no longer hear it. The phone goes to voicemail…
…I step out of the shower and I am drenched in crystal drops of water. My black toenails contradict the white tile nicely. Over to the mirror. I stand gazing at my reflection through the steam. Nothing but a disfigured body. I move on to the kitchen and there it was. The answering machine and it’s flashing red light. It was notifying me I had a message. I sleepily hit the button as water drops onto the ugly plastic.
“Join me in the rain. I’ll be waiting.” and the phone goes dead.
It was Him. The one with no name. We have come to the conclusion that a name means nothing. Just another aid to the public. They all must fear the unknown. We are the unknown…
…The smoke filling my already damaged lungs as I continue to walk the earth. The rain hitting my face causing this shadow to smile. My heavy boots disturbing the puddles that kiss the concrete. Losing myself in the vision of gray clouds and purple skies. Nothing going through my brain…
…My red hair stuck to my eyes. Pounding on the hallow door waiting for an answer. The sound waves are echoing through the allies and hallways. No answer. Lifting my pale hand to the fake silver doorknob. Twisting. Pushing. The door creeks…
…Inside I walk. The house small and without light. The shades drawn halfway letting the lightning give a visual. I hear the rain. Finding the winding stair case that consist of marble and wood. Step after step. I am closer. I am at the top. I proceed to move towards His bedroom. My boots still stomping and crying onto the boring floor boards. The door open an inch with the note: Join me. I’m calm as I push the door open…
…Instant tears fall. My eyes opened wide. Running to His side. Scanning over His now broken body. Another note crossed stiched to his forehead, the excess blue thread and needle hanging:
“To the rain that you create: Hearts can break. Circles can’t.”
His eyes open and faded. He’s looking at me. My eyes shift down to his shirtless chest and stomach. His body drenched in a different color tear. Crimson. In His right hand, lay the razor blade that he had used to paint his body. On his canvas of flesh was a circle with my name in the center. Neatly carved into skin, muscle, and bone. The drops of blood sliding off his skin…
…A disfigured heart to accent my disfigured body. His words still ranting, captivating, and secluding by brain…Join me…
Well, if you cant tell I love to write. I was thinking of putting some more of my poetry and stories on here but I guess I have just been to lazy to do. I am also huge into art. I do mosty drawing and painting but I have tried almost everything there is to do with art.
I am goingto college this fall and I am going to be majoring in graphic design and communication because i am afraid that if I go into art, it will ruin it as a hobby for me. If I do anything with art it would be teaching the basics of art for free to the community. I love to help people.
I also believe in 2,3,4,5,etc chances. I do that because you never know when that person finally comes to their sences and is going to change.I would hate to deny them when they finally mean it. I have a big heart and I will forgive almost anyone. Even when I get hurt really bad I eventually pick myself back up and chase the asshole who pushed me down.
I am a musik whore. I am ina band and I am proud to say that I can out grown louder longer and lower than any other guy in our band. We are far from great but we have hopes to make it big.
Things i like are grilled cheese, picnics, caving,rock climbing, fishing, ice and roller skating, naked angels in the snow, making fun of movies, calling Gerret(lead guitarest in the band) a faggot, chasing thunderstorms, skateboarding, blowing shit up, art, poetry, fucking my boyfriend, playing my guitar, tattoos, piercings, re creating jackass stunts, and drinking, baby kitties. and dead baby jokes.
THings I hate are: Animal Planet it always seems to make me cry, I hate when people walk around a store then put a cigarette in their mouth so five minutes before they go out side that way they can light it the second they walk outside. It drives me insane! I smoke and I think its...grrrr....I dont know. I also hate being told what to do or people that think they are smarter than others. Personally, I think that just shows how imature they are.
I think that is really all there is to say about me. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend Forrest. I love him with every breathe I take. I guess if you want to chat thats fine but I am not an internet whore so if you are looking to sweettalk or get dirty im telling you right now to fuck off.
I am not your Pet
I am not your pet to be beaten around. If you command me to "speak" I will visiously sever the skin and muscel from your bones. I am not your dream to throw away. I am not your scar to only bleed again. I am not your bitch to be raped. I am not your fucking pet.
Im sorry for those who are viewing if I offened you. I am just tired of being pullled by a leash. It seems everyday more victims fall into this hole that causes you to lie. I am tired of people not being honest. I am tired of it. Im runnning out of places to trust. Tell me who can I run to?
It seems no ones arms are open to the unknown. But thats just human nature I guess.
The Abused Lightblub
These tears of mine...Why do they fall? They mean nothing to me. But i cant seems to delete them from my body.
Why do I cry? Good question.. I was hoping you could tell me. My hostile additude and all these feelings that rape my mind have consumed me so I no longer can see my options. I feel as if I have given a choice: to fall or to fall... But then why am I falling? Is it because I have chosen to fall? Is this all secretlly my fault or is it just another thought I must face every day until I forget? Will I ever forget? Will I ever be forgiven? Or am I just here to take it all? I know I am not the only one because those who read this and understand, understand.
The sun has burned out this abused lightbulb. It seems this time it can not be repaired. So what next? Are we forced to seclude ourselves in this freezing nightmare? Condemned to walk through this darkness alone? Or do you have a written document that consists of your reasons and conclusions on why remain unbarablly blind?
Please if anyone truly understands these words that my broken fingers type, let me know. I am desperate.
THis strongly offends me. THis person fucking pisses me off. How is it that someone can abuse something so beatiful as this ARt....
Fuck these assholes.
I have a new messaging system besides yahoo. It is AIM so SecludedBlood is my sn for that...so what ever.
One love for musik
My band and I are working on a new song called "what haunts is haunted" I would tell you the name of my band but because I am so paraniod of it being stolen...grr..ill never tell. I play second guitar and do some growls here or there. Im not Avril Lauvine (thank god) nor do I wish to be the start of the show. Actually some of the shows we are plannign im gonna be playing behind a curtain never to be revealed. Tell me what you think.
I have a passion for the Sirens. Do to my name Lorelei. They are beautyful and seductive. They are peaceful and Destructive. "I would die for the love of a mermaid, her suduction, beauty and scorn..." ~Nightwish
|Member Since: ||Jul 15, 2005
|Last Login: ||Jan 20, 2009|
|Times Viewed: ||6,774|
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