The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

"Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day." - Arthur Dent to Ford Prefect, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

This shirt is a reproduction of a poster produced by the Earth Ministry of Information. It was the third in a series, intended to be released only in the event of Vogon invasion. Unfortunately, since the Vogons demolished the Earth to make way for a hyperspace bypass, it never really got a chance to be displayed. Well, actually, there were about two minutes between the Vogon ships arriving and the demolition beams in which several public servants ran around trying to remember where they put the poster, which was unfortunate because 1) they spent their last few minutes worrying about their job security, which was really a moot point since they, their bosses, and every TPS report they'd ever written boiled away into space moments later and 2) the poster wasn't actually on Earth any more. But at least they felt needed. The poster, on the other hand, mostly did not feel needed. It was discovered years later by a used book seller on Alpha Centauri in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard."

This shirt has the words "DON'T PANIC and CARRY A TOWEL" inscribed in large friendly letters beneath a crown in white on a red 100% cotton t-shirt.