The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

From a single record.

Lyrics:

''A dinner was served for three
At Dracula's house by the sea
The hors d'oeurves were fine
But I choked on my wine
When I learned that the main course was me!

The waitress, a vampire named Perkins
Was so very fond of small gherkins
While serving tea
She ate forty-three
Which pickled her internal workin's!
Igor! The scalpels go on the left with the pitchforks!
Igor, Igor...

What a swimmer is Dracula's daughter
But her pool looks more red than it oughter
The blood stains the boats
But it's easy to float
Because blood is much thicker than water!

(INSTRUMENTAL INTERLUDE)

Dracula old friend, how are things in Transylvania?
For dessert, there was bat wing confetti
And the veins of a mummy named Betty
I first frowned upon it
But with ketchup on it
It tasted very much like spaghetti!

Goodnight whatever you are!''