Okay, here latelly everything has been going wrong for me. Now my old suicidal tendancies are coming right back to me. I'm not sure what to do. I want to get high/drunk and cut myself until I bleed away. But everyone tells me that I have people that care about me. I'm not sure how to release what I feel, I have no one to truly talk to, face to face. I feel like I'm totally alone. I don't trust psycs because all they have done is messed me up more than what I used to be. Does anyone have any advice?
Progression is a series of lack of control followed by directed action. Both are necessary; it only seams like you are falling out of the sky on the downward flap, (or the controlled falling motion of walking,) before you take action.
One helpful piece of advice is that only when things are darkest in your life, can you see the direction in which you wish to travel. During the day you place one foot in front of the other going in zombielike fashion in the last direction you thought was appropriate. Then darkness falls apon you and you are lost. Then you see the stars come ut when night is truely apon you, and you realize that when it was day, you started going in the wrong direction, and you set your sites on a new and more appropriate star. Then daylight comes again.
This is the best advice I have for anyone, and is somewhat better than saying the usual cliche: it is all temporary, or it is always darkest before the dawn.
One trick to feeling better is to take action. Any positive action which you are not forced to do, will make you feel better. Do a good deed for someone else, pay a bill before it is due, pick up litter on the side of the road, A random act of kindness, or senseless act of beauty.