The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Killed it with

"Look, you shoot up a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas is not the place you want to get caught."

Thelma & Louise

You will have one job: You do what I say. You clean up my house. Garbage bags, mops, bucket, broom - they are your tools. Breakfast. You will serve me breakfast, every morning for the rest of your life. You will not eat or drink anything without my permission. You only eat after I have eaten, and only what I have left on my plate.

Chained (2012)

"When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke."

As Good As It Gets

No, I wouldn't know anything about your 69' GTO Judge, 455 Big Block, Ram-Air, 4.11 Posi... Somethin' like that? Weird... That thing must have fallen straight from space! Well, good luck with your future ride, spaceman!

Sex Drive (2008)

"Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more. It's contrast."

The Hours

Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

Dazed and Confused

Right now, I'd go down on a lawman for a gallon of gas.

Natural Born Killers

Don't blame your mother, I was irresistible!

Edtv

I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR.

Elf

No, I'm not talking about that. I beat the sh*t out of some kids today. But it was for a purpose. It made me feel good about myself. It was like I did something constructive with my life or something, I dunno, like I accomplished something.

Bad Santa

I just killed two people. I just took a spoon and pushed it through him. I swear to god I'm going to piss my pants Phoebe, I swear to god I'm going to piss my pants.

American Ultra

There's been an awakening. Have you felt it? The Dark side, and the Light.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens

Our expansion plans for Moscow include getting drunk, laid and ending up in a Russian prison, all at the click of a button.

The Darkest Hour

Why I did it? Ah... I don't know. Boredom? The guy turned to be a blubber mouth who just would not shut up.

There's Something About Mary

I'm setting up a guy who's incredibly important to us, who's going to tell me where the loot is and if they're going to come and arrest you. And you come loping in like Rambo without a jockstrap and you dangle him out a fifth-floor window. Now, was that smart? Was it shrewd? Was it good tactics? Or was it stupid?

A Fish Called Wanda

Well, there was the bit that you missed where I distracted him with the cuddly monkey then I said "play time's over" and I hit him in the head with the peace lily.

Hot Fuzz

Sorry, we don't serve liars here. Can I get you a cup of bullsh*t for the road?

Sorry, we don't serve liars here. Can I get you a cup of bullsh*t for the road?

Airplane!

Soul mates. It's extrememly rare but it exists. Sort of like twin souls tuning into each other. Apparently even in death.

What Dreams May Come

It's hard to see people from your past when your present is so cataclysmically screwed up.

Heartbreak Ridge

A small price I paid for putting foot to ass for my country.

Agent Augustus Gibbons

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"

Ok LadyJigsaw,i saw it too,my mistake

We Are Your Friends

I'm not just a live version of the sock you wank into.

The Riot Club

While you're sitting at home livin' off ramen noodles, I'm in my Lexus finger bangin' poodles.

Waiting(2005)

"Why is the rum always gone?"

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

It's your heart. You ought to take it with you.

The Cider House Rules

I'm not his girl, he's my gangster.

Billy Bathgate (1991)

"Son, you got a panty on your head."

Raising Arizona

I thought you knew! I want to go through life jumping into fountains naked, good night!

The Birds (1963)

"He didn't get out of the cock-a-doodie car!"

Misery

A Dude goes to the doctor. Doctor says: "Sir, you have to stop masturbating". The patient goes: "Why?" And the doctor goes: "because I'm trying to exam you".

Life of Crime

"What? Over? Did you say 'over'? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!"

Animal House

Jack, what do you want to use this for, a porno film? Stupid men!

Cannibal Holocaust

Story goes, these great big rats come scuttling off the slave ships and raped all the little tree monkeys. The natives use them in black magic rituals

Dead Alive

The weekend has landed. All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. I've got 48 hours off from the world, man. I'm gonna blow steam out my head like a screaming kettle, I'm gonna talk cod shit to strangers all night, I'm gonna lose the plot on the dancefloor. The free radicals inside me are freakin', man! Tonight I'm Jip Travolta, I'm Peter Popper, I'm going to never-never land with my chosen family, man. We're gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did, anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life. I've got 73 quid in my back burner - I'm gonna wax the lot, man! The Milky Bars are on me! Yeah!

Human Traffic

I hate bananas. And I hate cream pie. So that makes banana cream pie a double hate!

Sleeper

It's ironic that the first time in my life that I feel remotely affectionate for her, is when she's dead.

Igby Goes Down

"Well, a boy's best friend is his mother."

Psycho

You little asswipe! You don't knock it off you're gonna be shittin' this basketball... pardon my French!

Tremors

"What we've got here is failure to communicate."

Cool Hand Luke

I'm the railroad and I'm not interested!

How the West Was Won (1962)

"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you?"

The Graduate

If you tell anyone, we'll kill you first, and then your whole family, and we'll watch the film over and over and over.

Sinister 2

She's not my special lady, she's my f**king lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive, man!

The Big Lebowski (1998)

"Take your stinkin' paws off me, you damned dirty ape!"

Planet of the Apes

And I thought they smelled bad....on the outside.

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

Power is tearing human minds apart and putting them back together in new shapes of your own choosing.

Nineteen Eighty-Four

Would you believe bodyguards are buying strawberries for 150 D's a jar?

Soylent Green

Did you hear about the zen monk who ordered a hot dog? He said he had one with everything

Next (2007)

"Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?"

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Who honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time sings that we will never die? Who teaches us what's real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend? Who chains us? And Who holds the key that can set us free... It's You. You have all the weapons you need. Now Fight!

Sucker Punch (2011)

"I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

Zoolander

Something very weird is happening to me: I keep killing people! There's a chance I may be... a robot!

American Ultra (2015)

"Guns are for show. Knives are for pros."

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Did you ever wake up sober after a one night stand, and the person you're next to is layin' on your arm, and they're so ugly, you'd rather chew off your arm then risk waking 'em?

Coyote Ugly (2000)

"Not the beeeees!."

The Wicker Man

Taste death, live life.

Ski Patrol (1990)

"Not you, fat Jesus."

The Hangover

And it's always there, in the lower right hand corner, just waiting to suck.

Go (1999)

"You've got red on you."

Shaun of the dead


"Now a days we have a god for everything except pre mature ejaculation- but i hear that's cumming soon"

History of the World: Part I


You have to leave now, and never come back here. Have you ever heard of insect politics?

The Fly (1986)

"Now, you've got a corpse in a car, minus a head, in a garage. Take me to it."

Pulp Fiction

Have you ever had fantasies of saving a tribe?

The Green Inferno

"Ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster."

Goodfellas

She stuck with her story. And now everytime a girl goes missing, she thinks it's her guy and she's in here breaking my balls.

Gone

"Wolfman has nards!"

The Monster Squad

Because I have one of the greatest jobs in the solar system. As long as the turbinium keeps flowing, I can do anything I want. Anything!

Total Recall

"You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!"

Spaceballs

I'm a dead man and buggered to boot!

Shakespeare in Love

"Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it."

American Psycho

I think "scat" is poop.

Old Dogs

Don't ever call me a thesaurus

Guardians of the Galaxy

"We deal in lead, friend."

The Magnificent Seven

You shall age like them, you shall die like them, and all memory of you shall fade in time. And we'll vanish along with it. You will never see us again.

Pans labrynth

Sorry, forgot the new quote...


Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?

Batman (1989)

"That's atomized colloidal silver. It's being pumped through the building's air conditioning system, you cock-juggling thundercunt!"

Blade: Trinity

Their here....

The Magnificent Seven

This girl is at once all the women that broke my heart. She is so beautiful and generous, and she's asking me to leave... because she is dumping me.

The Science of Sleep

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you're uncool."

Almost Famous

Hey, you guys are fighting; it's like the '80s all over again!

Ricki and the Flash

"The swan ate my baby!"

Drop Dead Gorgeous

Hello, Snotface! Yuck! What happened to you? Look at you. You're all older. You're even uglier. Uch. I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to be sick all over you immediately. Lie down.

Drop Dead Fred


I was busy pushing bodies around as you well know and what would a note say, Dan? "Cat dead, details later"?

Re-Animator (1985)


"We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26...we were of that disposition.

High Fidelity

Now, I have a severly deviated septum, and when I sleep I make a disturbing sound... Don't be alarmed, I am fine. Good Night!

Heavy Weights (1995)

"Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you."

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

I'm not in the plane, I'm ON the plane! Open the door!

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

"If God did not want them shorn, he would not have made them sheep."

The Magnificent Seven

You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.

Patch Adams

"You're killin' me Smalls!"

The Sandlot

I still sometimes dream that I'm the mother of your children. I wanted her to die.

Legends of the Fall

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."

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