The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Above words are the title of a song by Killing Joke you should look it up, and listen to it.





I have a lot to cover so I'll just get to it.



My personal health I've kept people in the dark for sometime now. Cutting off ties with everyone I had long term friend ships with. Not knowing what I was going to do I hate doctors. But the pressure in my neck yesterday got so bad I realized its time. Time to go see a doctor, and go see if this is what I think it is..... if it is I don't think it's just in my neck. Strange feeling from my left lung since the last time I was sick....other things..... BUT the good part is if I am really that sick.... I'm ok with it.

It's just my body..... a body.... that's all.



It's been a long time I've held hands with the other side I know where I'm going when I die..... I'm just going home. So I'm really not afraid of it. I've known all along this time here was only a temporary state of being.



So when the time comes that I stop signing in here. Just know I'm ok.... I just wanted to take the time to explain this to you.



I also wanted to thank everyone who followed me on here I hope by going back, and reading though everything I've put here maybe it helps someone some day. It was strange for a being like me to come to a place like this, and shear things with you. But I wanted a place I could write where I could tell the truth.



I've never lied here once



these scraps I've left here are the truth



What am I



I want to answer this so you know. Back in 1945 in a medical hospital a soldier died. But when he crossed over he did not go to limbo, hell, heaven.... he was asked to join the ranks of those who show the dead to the other side.



He did his job well.... maybe a little too much



As far as I understand it some point in the 1990's a person took a whole load of pills, and was to pass on, and that is where they met one leaving one coming. Feeling so bad for the other he would not take the soul with him.... he broke the rules, and because of this a strange bond was formed. both connected one to realize what it was like to be human again, one to realize loss, and the power of it. Together with a Angle, and a Lowa as guides

they've walked this earth. Returning lost people to there family's teaching people lessons.



I can tell you what happens when you die.



I can tell you when you will die



I can tell you so much



But I can't there are rules.... so many rules as to how your world works spiritually that it would take more time then was granted to write it all down. Needless to say you live in a world way more complex then you will ever know.



All the things your told don't exits do. All the things your told are not there that you see out of the corner of your eye are there. the world you all get to live in is so amazing but most will never know it, and the most you get is just a glimpse.



I've had to see it all in horror shock wonderful terrible ways....



So unless God.... well its really gods there all there all of them some of them are really great when you get to know them others not so much. Unless there is some other plane that I'm not aware of then i'll be checking out soon but if for some reason I have something else to do I guess I'll be told shown, and we all get to keep going on this ride together some more.



"why not heal your self" to be honest all the negative energy I've had around me for the past few years, and nothing to feed from that was positive I honestly do not have the energy needed to "make that cold feeling" swell with in me and snap crackle pop myself back to stage 1. Maybe I'll find someone who will be a battery, and let me borrow some chi but I doubt it. Your worlds become way to negative it really has.



You can ask me questions and all I can do is give you answers to the point of as far as I know them.



Yes I can tell you the dead loved ones do want you to stop grieving but keep them in your hearts they never really go that far away. None of us do.... you honestly don't need a cell phone to contact any one on earth. Me all I've ever needed was a picture, and a name to go with it, and I could find you if I wanted to.



that brings me to the girl on the beach

for all intensive purposes I now know with out a doubt who she is years of flip flopping in my dreams from being here to being there I knew in this day, and age where everyone takes photo's of them self's it was only a matter of time before I found her. Will I tell her? No I've made the choice to not message or contact. My main thing was I wanted to make 100% sure. I wanted to know if this person was in this reality or another one, and I know now there in this one. I'm happy just knowing that they are there.



So



that's that then



Oh yes that thing..... one more thing..... Killing Joke its very important you look up that band, and start listen to them all there songs its very important! If any one who reads this knows Chas Colmen I would be very blessed if before I'm gone if I could sit on the shout of his island off the cost of NewZealand, and go fishing with him just once..... so much we would have to talk about.



that's my one wish before I go





thank you for your time



love each other for the time you have you only technically get it once this way only once



Much Love



SED

All of a sudden like the pull of a rubber band I'm some place else.



A concert out door's I recognize the band on stage I know who that is. But its who joins me the face I don't know the body I don't know..... but yet I feel like I've known you forever....



who are you



you keep showing up over and over again I thought I had you pegged the girl on the beach.... but no I see you totally clear now.... and I don't know you. I've never seen you or met you before, and if I had I would remember that face. I would never forget the face.....



Who are you..... is it.....



but that makes no sense



who are you

2 nights ago I woke up in bed, and wanted to scream. A flood of memory's previously blocked or just not there where now in my head me being not even sure why how why now..... maybe because I'm spiritually armed to the tits right now maybe I don't know.



They came in flashes Pow stop POW stop POW stop.... time after situation after situation



taken.... taken over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.... taken out of my house. My family taken out of the house.... my mom god rest her soul taken out of the house....I admit I never saw them take Dad. He always seemed to be sleeping or what ever it is they do to you.



What is it like? You panic you try to run then it feels like your hit with something its like your falling a sleep but your falling but you never hit the floor your blacked out before then.



Memory after memory trying to get away BANG things slow down nothing you can do your falling towards the floor, your slumping over..... then black nothing but black.....



They? what are they..... tall white figures.... tall white figures..... thin tall white figures. If all these repressed memory's are right this has been going on for decades.



Also when I look around I feel it looking to in the middle of my for head.... when I blink it blinks too my 3rd eye is awake and wide open. Everything feels so clear now..... I thought before being half in half out seeing things I'm not suppose to see in shades of white black grey gold purple.... but now its color every where.



What have I become



Is what I am a bi product of years of being taken and something done to me?



WHAT AM I

It was once again me sitting in my office. Where time, and time again I've been attacked by things. A plague of mind spiders from another dimension, strange feelings thoughts that are not mine. But most recently a know down drag em out with a critter a thing that drained energy that for the longest time I thought was attached to this man who passed away at work.



No no that is not the case. My partner in crime checked me out last time I was home. I went through the rituals of smudging, gathering leafs my self, and herbs to keep on my person.



Why? Apparently all these negative energy draining things are attached to someone at work. Someone who is dyeing, and wants more life so there using people like drink boxes. Siphoning energy off of people using these things like proxies.



Since the smudging, and I'm walking around all my gear on me around my neck in pockets, and such nothings bugging me. I felt something try to touch me but I burned the limb off before it knew what happened.



But I'm tired for other reasons.



Being tired right now is not a good thing.