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I keep bothering people about a mentorship, but nothing comes together. There is a chance, though, that my original secret Mentor will take me in and that alone improves my mood. For some reason, all Mentors I like are never online ಠ_ಠ

I like this site so far, some unexpected astral encounters notwithstanding... I'm beginning to think of a protection stamp for my profile, as it seems to be a necessity around here.

My first post to The Stream, woo-hoo! 🥳 Also totally abstained from gen AI... and did a sketch instead. I need to sketch more, or my brain will die and my heart will leave for better places... Other than that, I feel so much more alive as of late. The world finally has a place for me! Or maybe it was always there, I just was too busy to notice... 😅

Other than that, I keep playing brain-training games because endless hopeless days on social media ate away at it, but I'm getting better. Will play chess regularly again soon. Just need to catch up and play with that good friend of mine...

I happened upon a very nice person who is telling me a lot of important things about this place, but unfortunately, they cannot be my Mentor officially. I really hope I won't end up being alone even here - after all, it's hard to find a circle which would be 100% compatible with you... and in all my experience, finding something 100% compatible is IMPOSSIBLE. Knowing that I'll probably have to adjust my behavior a bit, I want to make sure I at least won't have to break myself to fit in.

A lot of people claim a lot of different things... How true they are - only time will tell, but thanks to past encounters I can more or less navigate the occult circles. Some say they resonate with Ancient Egypt... Well, Egypt is a hellishly old country. A lot of people were there during different time periods. What is publicly known about it now is a very recent state of Egypt. Nobody talks about non-humans roaming those lands in prior times... or the crazy scientific experiments that took place there.

Of course, there's always a chance that I will bottle myself in... again. I'll keep my mind open to new opportunities, but for now they are very few. I used to put other people first but that got me nowhere, so now I feel like I have a right for at least a decent environment that will not try to bring me down. Psychological compatibility with people you talk to every day is very important and I want to make sure I don't settle for a bad deal.

"This is a good hollow tree. The best one. With lots of bats and spiders in it... Mold is mostly at the bottom..."
That's something I'd say would I be a bat who finally found a colony in the middle of a long, cold winter. I like it here. This is the place where I can write walls of text and people will actually read it... Wow. It's been a while. Most personalities I've met in past several years have an attention span of a dust mite and memory of a gold fish... Social networks have dealt a deadly blow to humanity's ability to think. I nearly fell prey to those myself...

Here a person will write to you maybe once a day, and that's actually fine! I have time to get things done and not worry about missing out on important online events. In a word, I appreciate the relaxed atmosphere conducive of pondering. I appreciate walls of text I receive in response. This, at least, feels like having a proper conversation. I was missing this feeling FOR YEARS...

I hope to meet more interesting people on here. For the first time in a very long while, I feel excited in the most energetic, genuine way!

It's been a while I ventured into the darkness like this. But it's worth my while. Every time I try to forget I have to feed, it gets back at me like never before. I try to do it in my sleep. I'm a living ghost on those occasions. But that's barely helping. Especially when there are people who hate me with all their might.

I tried to be friends with many different individuals, but over time, they leave me. Only a couple are still around and I do my best to keep them safe. I have to admit that I'm the cause for my current dire situation. I shouldn't have tried lying to myself... Tangling my own madness, I tried to forget who I was... But no, it's time to remember. It's stupid to forget, because when I almost did, I wished to remember again. It's a back and forth until you realize you just have to be honest and true to yourself.

Finding my place in this world was hard. I'm not sure I'm completely happy with where I am... Quite happy, but something is still missing. The hunt, the blood... The people to keep secrets with, together.

Many people who associate with vampires draw most of their inspiration from vampire media. I just always knew who I was... you could call me a vampire fairy. No, not that small kind of fairy. Think Celtic myths and the like... But in reality, more of an alien. Reasons to be here? We all just have to be somewhere, right? I also just happen to be here. Because such were the winds. I got carried here by the flow of life and here I stayed. For now...