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I'm cold inside.

The fear of losing him to her again.

The fear of the deadening of my body, my soul.

I'm in searing pain.

He might leave me.

For her. He still loves her.

I liked him for a long time.

And it might mean nothing.

I'd die inside, if even for a little while.

My feelings trapped inside.

Why can't he be happy, content.

Living with me; my love; my passion.

Why am I not good enough for any man?

They always leave. It hurts. It sears.

The thought of him leaving for her...

It makes me sick, my stomache twists.

Someone hold me, tell me he loves me.

Tell me he won't say goodbye,

Now that i have him, finally, for the first time.

I got what I longed for, needed.

What I dreamed of, and soon, it may end.

I was even to have a purpose in his plans.

But I am being less interesting in his eyes.

No longer special, just a woman who loves him.

Does he even really love me?

Or was I a stand-in, a temporary?

Just there until he didn't need me anymore...

Someone take awawy my pain...

I'm tired of trying so hard,

All to not be good enough...

Except for those who use

Or abuse, or take or play.

Those ones come after me time after time.

They appreciate my love,

But not the good ones, the ones who I desire.

I die inside every time,

Every heartbreak,

Every loss of love.

A problem, a stress...

How do I cope?

Two men I love and desire.

One is commited by child,

One is not commited at all.

They both love me, and I love them..

But we can not be.

I am seeking, looking for a love,

But it is so hard to find.

I am so lonely.

Please take my pain from my desire,

To be with one or the other;

And always wondering if they will return,

Or walk away and forget about me forever.