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The Bitch Is On The Rag01:59 Aug 20 2008
Times Read: 651
...WARNING...
BITCH ON THE RAG
it is advisable and in the best interests of ensuring your sanctity and safety that you ...
Please remove All sharp objects from view.
Refrain from speaking or making any
unnecessary sounds.
Approach said female with the attitude
that She is right at all times.
My bitch is on the rag
Bloody cunt is such a drag
My bitch is on the rag
Oh she's such a nag
Ran and jumped and splashed in her bed
Then I noticed the sheets were all bloody red
I was chowin' down and somethin' tasted weird
Ran to the mirror saw blood on my beard
My bitch is on the rag
Bloody cunt is such a drag
My bitch is on the rag
Oh,oh,oh she's such a nag
Then she said she wanted to ball
I said shut up bitch and take a midol
She insisted on having sex
Spread her legs and saw a kotex
My bitch is on the rag
Bleeding hole is such a drag
My bitch is on the rag
Oh,oh,oh she's such a nag
She was bitchy and causing a fuss
It's an added problem between us
Water build up what a drag
I know this bitch is on the rag
When this bitch is on the rag
I love to say things and I love to brag
Usually sex is such a gas
But this time,I'm crammin' it up her ass yeah
My bitch is on the rag
Bleeding twit is such a drag
My bitch is on the rag
Oh,oh,oh she's such a nag
On the rag,what a drag,on the rag,what a drag
She's on the rag,she's on the rag,she's such a nag
... The Mentors ...
*ahem*
SHIT HAPPENS
08:14 Aug 07 2008
Times Read: 663
^~^~^~*~**~*~^~^~^
WARNING SHIT AHEAD
OMFG ... I'm so sorry!! But shit, I just had tooooo ...
^~^~^~*~**~*~^~^~^
The Shit List
A Filthy Timeless Classic Just Waiting To Be Told Again
The Ghost Shit
You know you've shit. Theres shit on the toilet paper, but there is nothing in the bowl
Teflon Coated Shit
It comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel a thing. No traces of shit on the paper. You have a look in the bowl to be sure you did it
Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
Second Thought Shit
You are all done wiping your arse and you're about to stand up when you realise you have got to do some more
Pop A Vein In Your Forehead Shit
This is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you loose 2 stone
Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
The Commode Choker Shit
This shit is so big that you know it wont go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. This kind of shit usually happens at somebody else's house
Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times but not a shit in site
Snake Shit
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.
Cork Shit (Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, its still floating in there.
Mexican Food Shit
You know its safe to start eating again when your asshole stops burning
The Frightened Turtle
The kind that just pokes its head out then goes back in again.
The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water
The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have been sitting on the toilet so long your body goes numb from the waist down.
The Big Bobber
This one doesn't matter how many times you flush the toilet it always seems to find the surface again
The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of shit that's sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice its size.
The Jack The Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair or your ass as it pushes its way out
Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, similar to an avalanche but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
The Never Ending Shit
Its the kind of shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea soup, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out.
^~^~^~*~**~*~^~^~^
and hell if you made it to the end of this and read it all and laughed ya pants off ... then let me tell you that your just as sick as me ...*runs to wash out her mouth and eyes and hands and mind* gawd bloody toilet humor .
^~^~^~*~**~*~^~^~^
*~*Types Of Masters*~*07:39 Aug 07 2008
Times Read: 667
***********
A mediocre Master tells,
A good Master teaches,
An excellent Master explains,
But a True Master inspires
***********
~*~What Makes You ... You~*~07:34 Aug 07 2008
Times Read: 669
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
We all revel in the thought that we are unique, that know one on this insane asylum is like quite like you or me.
Well News Flash ... we are all on a basic level the same ... you breath ... your blood pumps ... you eat ... you shit ... and you die and everything in between is a bonus.
What you learn along the way has come from others, perhaps you have added to it, spiced it up and called it your own, but inevitably it was and always has been part of the larger equation.
So what makes you you? is the question I was asked this morning ...
Well shit being a Sat morning after a hard night, I just couldn't think ... or maybe I just don't want to divulge what I'm truly about ... maybe I'm an enigma ... *giggles*
Anyway to be polite I shall say this ... "it is all the experiences that I have been through that make me me" and they are experiences from the left, uno off the beaten track ... I'm not a conformist, or religious nutta, nor am I going to do something that I don't really want to do, so if all the choices I have made have made me who I am today then I am proud to be me ... I have no regrets whatsoever ... well perhaps I shouldn't killed the cat ...or push that old man in front of a car ... but hey ... *joking*
I can be good, I can be bad, I can nice, I can be mad, I'm loyal and trustworthy without a doubt, and I will 'Honor Serve and Obey' One who deemed Himself/Herself worthy of this. ( yep I would die first before I would serve some wannabe fake poser ... does that make me less than? well in fact I don't care what you think because this is my reality and not yours
I can be a whore and a dirty cocksucking wench, I can do it for a living, in fact I can be anything my damned wee black heart desires ... for I am a transformer and " I Am That I Am"!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~
~*~The Grip~*~
07:24 Aug 07 2008
Times Read: 670
Placed her at His feet
On bended knee she sat
Twisted the cloth
Placed behind her neck
Pressed His knuckles firmly
Against her jugular
Cutting off the blood
Her face grew swollen
Turning red
No breath could pass
No blood could pump
Her mind turning in
Her brain going blank
The faintness shrouding her
Stars were seen
Lossing consciousness
Then He released His grip
The blood and air flowed
The buzz and the rush
Engulfed her body for a time
She smiled for this
She giggled out loud
More she cried, more please
But being wise He new what she meant
And held her hand and spoke
Next time ... Next time
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