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A random person is talking to me on Yahoo. I've decided to stop answering... Why do I attract random people? Creeps me out...



biamonti2005: hi



me: ..hi



biamonti2005: how r u



biamonti2005: asl plz



me: ...



biamonti2005: age sex location



biamonti2005: plz



me: ....



biamonti2005: why?



me: dunno. why?



biamonti2005: what's ur namùe?



me: ...



biamonti2005: plz



biamonti2005: ask me



biamonti2005: i'm jesephe and u



biamonti2005:



biamonti2005:



me:



biamonti2005: where are u from?



me: do you realize how vaguely i could answer that question...



biamonti2005: what's ur name ?



biamonti2005: answer



me:



biamonti2005:



biamonti2005 has selected the "Falling Hearts" IMVironment.





me:



BUZZ!!!



biamonti2005: ur so pretty



biamonti2005: wowwwwwwwww ur is beuatiful



BUZZ!!!

I'd kept my brain contained all day, so I wouldn't think too much, and now all this...



Thoughts are coming out! I don't want them to. All this crap about who people think I am and who I actually am, and whether or not I even know which me I am, and if I'm being the right one... The real one... And I'm so confused, and really hating being a teenager right now.



Things like this make me really want to just.. be old already.



And now my best friend for an entire decade is moving away... This makes 2 of my best friends. What the hell am I going to do... I've forbidden anyone else to move, unless it's my VA friend, and he's moving back here. Heh.



Oh, life. *sigh*

Life makes me wanna cry/die/kill something.



Today at least...



Why are people so STUPID!? Or is it me!? I don't know.... I don't know much of anything, ever.



Today was a spastic day. I hate when I'm like this. Can't talk, can't do anything when I'm like this. Anxious to the point of being frozen. And it doesn't help that today happened to be one of those days when the world is against me. Can't believe how many times people just.. said stuff like that... all. day. long! to me.



Yesterday, on the other hand, was one of the days where I enjoy being me. A hyper day. Which means I'm an enjoyable person to be around, and I am actually able to talk. I was happy, and amiable, and able to function like a normal human being.



Today just... sucked.

Why can I only update my status once an hour... This place is like a drug.



A few years ago I had surgery, and they had me hooked up to a pain medicine drop thingy. I had a button to press when I needed some medicine, but it wouldn't let me OD, and would only let me have one shot of it an hour.



Deja vu... *grin*



Oh well, I'll check back in the morn.

Why does baking always leave me in a pissy mood instead of a... not pissy one?



Frosting was too thick, so there are cake crumbs all in it... At least I didn't leave out any ingredients, like I have before. Fairly ok turnout. *sigh*



Otherwise, I continue to torture myself over a certain issue. I could just ... stop. But I also can't. Stupid humans and our stupid curiosity...

My back still hurts.



Planned out my birthday stuff today. Can't wait!!! Starting to figure out my summer, too, but it's all iffy right now.



Pics of me are in my portfolio now, if anyone's curious.

My back hurts. Either from all the bubbling in of circles on those tests, or from being here at VR for hours and hours on end the past few days.



Heh.



Also... That Trump movie comes out on my birthday, and I'm definitely going to spend a couple of birthday hours watching it. It's an odd obsession I have, but oh well.



*sits back and watches Desperate Housewives*

OMG! Jealousy. Utter jealousy. And partially self-induced confusion. Why the hell do I torture myself!? Why?? Whywhywhywhyyyyyy???



*sigh*



Oddly enough, I hate being un-confused. Most of the time. I'm confused so often that I don't know what to do with myself when I do understand everything...



Me : *sigh* why do i torture myself

Best Friend: b.c you are masochistic

Me : *laughs* thank you for setting my thoughts straight..



I realize yet again how uncomplicated yet unpopulated the world would be without guys dirtying it up. Hehehe... Just kidding... Kind of... About the dirtying up part, at least. And I'm not just saying that as a ..sexist kinda comment. Might as well wipe all the women off... One gender on the planet would be less confusing. Or maybe just get rid of all of us.



Wow going overboard. K. *stares*



My curiousity leads me into places that I probably shouldn't be in. I find out things that I probably need to know but can't find out anywhere else, but also shouldn't know because they just hurt me and change my perspective on certain people. I.e. the JEALOUSY. Hehe... Oh, internet. You open so many windows for me.



*wonders if anyone even reads this*

That SAT was a joke...



And now I have no brain chemicals left. Feels empty up there.

My brain is so scrambled... Longest day, today was.



This morning I woke up early, got ready, and went to school. We went to the church to take our AP US History exam. It wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would have been, but my first free response was only a thesis. Major academic suicide. :) I did pretty good on the multiple choice and DBQ, but I think my second free response came across as slightly, well, racist. Somehow. *sigh*



Our whole class went to LHOP then, and my mom picked me up from there. We went to Target, she got her eyes checked, I bought her a gift while she was doing that wooo surprise! Then we picked up my brother, went to get his hair cut and to get a gift for a friend's bday. Took him to his friend's bday party. Went to eat, Cato's, Belk, my aunt's house. Then picked him up. Fiiiiinally came home around 9:30.



I feel so tired and scattered right now, and I've got an SAT early tomorrow morning!!! Ugh. Then my uncle'll pick me up from there, and I might get stuck babysitting... I. Can't. Babysit. Tomorrow. My brain. Is. DEAD.



Sunday being Mother's Day, I'll be with my mom and at my grandparents' house all day.



This. Is a HORRIBLE. Weekend. :)



It'd be oh-so-much better if I could go to someone's HOUSE. Stupid weekend. Stupid life, lately. *sigh* Must accept the fact that everything sucks...

Sitting in Chem. class, I start to wonder... Why do we spend our whole lives preparing for the future, when our futures aren't even guaranteed to be there? The world could end before I even finish this post. You spend your childhood and teenage years learning so you can get a job so you'll have money so you can buy things to live so you can eventually just.. die. And after a few years, no one will remember you. And eventually the whole world will end, and everything anyone had ever done will all have been in vain.

*stares out at the world*



My head. Is absolutely. KILLING. Me.



Just thought I'd let everyone know...