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The snow was falling,

Frost biting down hard,

Walking through the clouded night,

Looking for the one thing you can never seem to hold,

Never really have

Always wanting more,

Of something you cant keep.



Ive finally lost my way,

Out here on these baren streets,

Thought I knew where I was headed,

But then I remembered I never really knew.

Scared that I'll never be able to quit this,

Its already hard to watch the adrenaline leave from your finger tips.

So close yet so far away.

So hard to grasp the concept,

That maybe you cant live without something.



Not comprehending is the least of my worries.

Watching the world go numb,

All the hurt that I cant ignore,

All the stupidity that is constantly thrown in your face,

How all you want is to live in the cloud of numbness.

Completely unaware of everything.



Sometimes I cant sleep,

Sometimes the addiction screams out from inside my lungs,

Its hard to look around and not see what you want to see.

Its so hard to actually see inside the mirror we look out of.

The addiction eats through you from the inside out.

Leaving you nothing,

Laughing at your desperation for it,

At the pathetic person you have let yourself be reduced to,

All for what?

The high?

The illusion?

Are you even looking at it clearly now?



Stepping back to look at the whole picture,

Even around those dark edges,

The addiction was clear,

I read the perscription over and over,

Realizing that it read clearly across the bottle,

I'd never be able to quit you.

I have been nieve,

I have been selfish,

Not realizing what Ive had,

What could be taken from me so quickly.

I didn't really think I would lose anything,

I looked at this world as perfected for once.

But once again my perspective has been proven wrong.

Heaven is an angels dance,

Hell is a fiery ring.

A dance I was trying to imitate.

A ring that etched a scar around my finger.

Once again I have been scarred,

Left in an off beat dance that no one but myself knows the movement to.



I laid with an angel,

Felt the whisper of his beautiful voice.

His fingers ran through my hair,

Like a cascade of the purest water.

His arms engulf me,

And his wings brought me to the greatest heighth.

If I ever saw a glimpse of heaven,

It had to be in his eyes.

Those eyes that caught me in my worst pain,

Yet held me at my greatest joy.

The angel that invaded my dreams,

Branded himself in my mind.

A permenant high.



My darkest intention,

To keep this angel,

To hold him,

Love him,

Keep him safe until the day he was ready to leave.

I never thought it completely through.

I would let him leave any day if that was what he wanted.

Never did I think,

Even come to the realization that I wasn't ready for him to leave.

I didnt think I'd miss his touch,

The lingering scent of his breath on my lips,

The burned memory in the back of my mind.

I hang onto the fragments of time we spent walking our tight rope to the sun.



We spend our days in a blaze of glory,

Our nights we dance along the brim of heavens gate.

Eternity fell behind us,

And forever is only a heart beat ahead of us

Trapped inside her arms forever,

I'd die,

If we weren't together.

Love sewn between my sheets,

Forever stiched in memory.

Happy, Pain, Tears unfold.

Her last goodbye.

In the centerfold.

Ive never seen an Angel die

Or ever heard a Demon's cry

But if you can

Imagine their screams.

They always come in my dreams.

Because I wake up

Shaking in fear.

Terrified because your not here.