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Everyone other than five peoiple here are full of shit. There's no loyalty or real friends. Your all liars and have betrayed me ask nothing of me.

Those who know me and truly are my friends know who they are.

COMMENTS

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Xzavier
08:15 Sep 29 2009

I'm sorry something bad has happened but I know there are more than 5 good people on here. It's just indicative of the times, VR and the globe in general is getting ever more full with people of poor moral quality and ethics only supportive of their own selfish personal gains.



Chin up my friend :)

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VAMPIREBLONDEE
14:15 Sep 30 2009

Thankfully, I know I am one of your real friends, and you are one of mine.

I hope whatever happened gets straightened out.

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BornfromDeath
05:03 Oct 01 2009

*hugs*

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MorbidAngels15
14:16 Oct 01 2009

*hugs hun* i think your a great person, hope im one of them 5 :)

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POST COMMENT

I try to grab at the vespers of my reality of my life and what I see I don't' really like. It seems that everything that comes into my life is taken from me. Or is destroyed in the wake of the carnage that follows me.



I've spent my life in the service of others; soldier, body guard, paramedic, deputy sheriff and nurse. My life belonged to others for so long that I had none of my own. I lost my wives and kids all for everyone else. Never once did I once asked for thank you or anything from others. I never took cream from the job or ask for special treatment. I gave up everything and lost everything for strangers.



So now that being said, for years those who have come and gone saying they were my friends hurt me more than anything else I've been through. What's worse is of late people here and others close to me have have made it worse. They have turned there backs or play how are you and disappear right after I answer. But what that does is push me away from everyone. It closes my heart from the world I don't what to talk to people or help them. Why should I give to get nothing.



I'm not saying that everyone is like that. I have a core of a few that have my undying love and heart. But the others that I talk about though. Some of them I do love and care about and they treat me like shit to be plan. When some one offers your there heart and then you stomp on it. Lets just say it doesn't make you feel that great.



I think a handful of people know my story. If you knew then you would understand why this bothers me so much. When you go through life alone keeping out everyone then after you shattered the first time from have love crushed in front of you. Then forcing it out and then letting it get forced back in. When you always expect the worst and get it then there are no surprises. But when hope creeps in it destroys you when you see the truth of things.



To be disappointed by the ones you love or having the trust destroyed is worst then anything. To hear or see or find out second hand. I don't think you can even explain the feeling. In the end you left with apathy toward everyone and thing. Watching life from the outside because of disgust and disdain sucks. I hate things and people and actions of others.

Your Status: Firebrand (Level 79)



You have completed 37% of the next level.



Pages Viewed Score (Pages: 143,080): 73 x .50 = 36.50

Time Spent Score (Time: 30.12 days): 73 x .50 = 36.50

Base Score: 73



[ Bonuses / Penalties ]

Ratings (Ratings: 13,120): 73 x 0.0328 = 2.39

Database (Submissions: 18): 73 x 0.0005 = 0.04

Forum (Posts: 184): 73 x 0.0046 = 0.34

Profile (Rating: 9.836): 73 x 0.0200 = 1.46

Journal (Read By: 46): 73 x 0.0046 = 0.34

Friend (Lists On: 137): 73 x 0.0047 = 0.34

Blocked (Lists On: 1): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Overblock (Blocks: 1): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Society 73 x 0.0100 = 0.73

Mark 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Mentor 73 x 0.0100 = 0.73

Referral (Points: 0): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Total Bonuses / Penalties: 6.37



Total Score: 79.37



[ Bonus / Penalty Percentages ]

Ratings (Ratings: 13,120): 3.28%

Database (Submissions: 18): 0.05%

Forum (Posts: 184): 0.46%

Profile (Rating: 9.836): 2.00%

Journal (Read By: 46): 0.46%

Friend (Lists On: 137): 0.47%

Blocked (Lists On: 1): 0.00%

Overblock (Blocks: 1): 0.00%

Society 1.00%

Mark 0.00%

Mentor 1.00%

Referral (Points: 0): 0.00%

COMMENTS

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VAMPIREBLONDEE
15:51 Sep 27 2009

Cool Beans !

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POST COMMENT

Your Status: Firebrand (Level 79)



You have completed 33% of the next level.



Pages Viewed Score (Pages: 141,529): 73 x .50 = 36.50

Time Spent Score (Time: 29.71 days): 73 x .50 = 36.50

Base Score: 73



[ Bonuses / Penalties ]

Ratings (Ratings: 13,002): 73 x 0.0325 = 2.37

Database (Submissions: 18): 73 x 0.0005 = 0.04

Forum (Posts: 179): 73 x 0.0045 = 0.33

Profile (Rating: 9.84): 73 x 0.0200 = 1.46

Journal (Read By: 45): 73 x 0.0045 = 0.33

Friend (Lists On: 135): 73 x 0.0046 = 0.34

Blocked (Lists On: 1): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Overblock (Blocks: 1): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Society 73 x 0.0100 = 0.73

Mark 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Mentor 73 x 0.0100 = 0.73

Referral (Points: 0): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Total Bonuses / Penalties: 6.33



Total Score: 79.33



[ Bonus / Penalty Percentages ]

Ratings (Ratings: 13,002): 3.25%

Database (Submissions: 18): 0.05%

Forum (Posts: 179): 0.45%

Profile (Rating: 9.84): 2.00%

Journal (Read By: 45): 0.45%

Friend (Lists On: 135): 0.46%

Blocked (Lists On: 1): 0.00%

Overblock (Blocks: 1): 0.00%

Society 1.00%

Mark 0.00%

Mentor 1.00%

Referral (Points: 0): 0.00%

COMMENTS

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VAMPIREBLONDEE
00:53 Sep 21 2009

you go friend !

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POST COMMENT

I'd like the memory or me to be a happy one.

I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when the day is done.

I'd like to leave an echo ......

Whispering softly down the way of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.

I'd like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun of happy memories.

That's what I to leave behind when the day is done.



Jason E. Brengolini

Dec. 17.1975 to Mar 25 2009



I didn't know Jay very long unfortunately, but he left lasting impression on me. He befriended me like he knew me for years. He was one of the hardest workers I ever meet, first up last to bed. He loved his job almost as much as his wife and kids. The world is a lesser place for losing him. But his hard work was needed elsewhere. We are all a little smaller with out a man like him in our world.

Chris

COMMENTS

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xxEmaeraldxx
23:21 Sep 14 2009

He sounded like such a good man. I am sorry for your loss. - Pam

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BornfromDeath
12:37 Sep 16 2009

*hugs*

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POST COMMENT

Your Status: Illusionist (Level 78)



You have completed 52% of the next level.



Pages Viewed Score (Pages: 140,171): 73 x .50 = 36.50

Time Spent Score (Time: 29.37 days): 73 x .50 = 36.50

Base Score: 73



[ Bonuses / Penalties ]

Ratings (Ratings: 12,890): 73 x 0.0322 = 2.35

Database (Submissions: 18): 73 x 0.0005 = 0.04

Forum (Posts: 170): 73 x 0.0043 = 0.31

Profile (Rating: 9.835): 73 x 0.0200 = 1.46

Journal (Read By: 42): 73 x 0.0042 = 0.31

Friend (Lists On: 131): 73 x 0.0044 = 0.32

Blocked (Lists On: 1): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Overblock (Blocks: 1): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Society 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Mark 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Mentor 73 x 0.0100 = 0.73

Referral (Points: 0): 73 x 0.0000 = 0.00

Total Bonuses / Penalties: 5.52



Total Score: 78.52



[ Bonus / Penalty Percentages ]

Ratings (Ratings: 12,890): 3.22%

Database (Submissions: 18): 0.05%

Forum (Posts: 170): 0.43%

Profile (Rating: 9.835): 2.00%

Journal (Read By: 42): 0.42%

Friend (Lists On: 131): 0.44%

Blocked (Lists On: 1): 0.00%

Overblock (Blocks: 1): 0.00%

Society 0.00%

Mark 0.00%

Mentor 1.00%

Referral (Points: 0): 0.00%

COMMENTS

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VAMPIREBLONDEE
17:34 Sep 18 2009

Congrats !

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POST COMMENT