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I am reading a lot about tantra meditation these days.

Now my awakening started, I want to expand my knowledge.

And search for the spiritual enlightenment.

I read many books and take notes of everything I learn.

Knowledge ... I think the most important is that you must remain curious. And always searching for something new to learn.

You should never assume that you know it all.

Everyday there is something new, what you do not know.



My journey goes on every day.



xoxo

I woke up very happy today.

Had a beautifull dream.

And it wasnt to light today.

I notice that i`m beginning to get hungry more and more every day.

I`m doing all kinds of research .

I want to know as much as possible about my condition!



I saw allot of video`s about the vampire community.

i`m dont know much about the dutch vampire community.

hmm..



xoxo

I woke up early. The sun was shining brightly. I left the curtains shut.

I burned some incense and then decided to take a nice hot shower.

Generally this will makes me wake up.

But today it did not work.

I lie in bed every night turning. And I can not sleep.

I notice that my sleep rhythm quite disturbed.

So I think I'll try to sleep at noon.

So I no longer have this kind of thing.



It is full of snow outside.

Maybe at the end of the day, I will go outside.

Woke up with a hammering headache.

I went to to go to bed far too early tonight.

But I needed to wake up early this morning, so I had no choice.

I had rare steak as breakfast this morning.

It was truly needed, I was going mad.



It's snowing outside. I think it's always beautiful to see.

The cold white flakes that flutter down on the ground.

The ground is white and the trees too.

It gives a little bit of a mysterious appearance.



It is very hard to get used to when you're just awakening.

I am trying to write down all of my changes and things I do.

I have much to learn. But I have full confidence that we will succeed.



I will try to write every day in my journal.



kisses and hugs Azami

COMMENTS

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pisces
21:16 Feb 03 2012

I wish you good luck :)

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saw kevin spacey eating lunch by himself when i was 19. he was at the counter, quietly masticating a sandwich. staring into the row of coffee pots and juicers and ice machines across from him. he looked all shades of khaki and plastic bag white. something about how nicely his hair was combed made me feel so sad. every single soft brown strand was well mannered and perfectly still in fear of breaking his heart. he looked so delicate in that diner off gower. crowded and loud with silverware and couples and their friends' nit-picky orders.

i used to go to that diner once a week. sit in a little terracotta leather booth. a cup of soup and two slices of sourdough toast. leave sketches on the napkins and good tips. but i'd always gone at night, when the lighting was forgiving on the ugly sandstone rock walls from the 70s. everything looked bathed in night lights from your childhood. but that day i saw kevin spacey, it was noon. and he was sitting at the bar stool that had been bleached over and over again by this exact time of day. that whole fucking place was iridescent.

but he, he was daytime neon.

the back of his shirt looked combustible with sunlight. i could see through the tops of his ears. tiny nervous pink veins exposed in their cartilage. trying to hurry up blood cells. ushering each along like panicked elementary school teachers after an earthquake. i could tell his brain was so damn smart. he vital organs were over achievers.

an ex boyfriend had told me some story about a friend of his who was a limo driver. how kevin spacey had propositioned this limo driver to go to hawaii with him on the car ride to LAX.

i watched his soft set eyes blink slowly in unison with each rotation of his jaw. this man takes trips to oahu by himself. he eats lunch at noon. not breakfast like everyone else. his pants are ironed. he is an operating bundle of brilliant little wires. and by every inch of the phrase, he exists very much alone.

even though i'd arrived long after he'd been served, i still managed to pay the check and leave before him. i had to pass behind him on my way out through the slick corridor of greased tile between the counter and the occupied tables. and when i got to that space where his back was emitting solar flares, it took every bit of will power to not wrap my arms around those starched and pressed shoulders.



source: Little Bukowski

COMMENTS

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KALIGULA
13:20 Feb 03 2012

Brilliant!

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