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a poem i rewrote



I am surprised by this drive

I hold inside

I’ve been through so much

But still I try

To make my life right

I feel weak but still I stand

I wonder why I still fight

Do I aim to bring back

All my lost light?



I’m confused by my strength

I feel completely hopeless

I’ve contemplated many ways

To get through all the bullshit

I have a life filled with regrets

But I’m not giving up

My fist remains tough

Of my pain, I’ve had enough

I know life is rough

But I’ll get through it

I’m sure of that much



Tensing up, I boom my voice

Yelling at my demons

To bring it on

In this battle

I am only one who can fight

My greatest enemy revealed

It’s always been myself

Fighting myself will be the hardest thing

Knowing I’ll have to destroy a part of me



With intensity, I rage

I fight for better days

To make my life

Something I can be proud of

Each and every night

I’m fighting a war

A battle deep inside me

I’m trying to set myself free

Still my emotions bleed

But it’s a burden I let none see



I wear joy’s disguise

But if you look into my eyes

You will see my anger inside

I can give many reasons why

Though confusion rips me up inside

But the fact remains

This is how I feel

All my pain is real

With its origin unknown

I can’t help but feel

Empty and alone

But still I stand

Retaining my integrity

As a man

Still I fight

To turn all I’ve wronged into right

its kind of analytical and metaphorical poem

enjoy =)



Deceptive Truth

By Shawn M. Johnson

1-16-10



Never wanting to see it through

They skip the reason

And only analyze

A mediocre truth

But without knowing the implication

How can you ever have real proof?

Still playing to ignorance

Never knowing why the deed is done

And we wonder why everybody runs

COMMENTS

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littlemissmademoiselle
12:34 Feb 27 2010

i love it. short, but powerful. i'm going to have to check out this poet. i was reading through your journal, i really like this stuff.

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an old poem i wrote long ago, i redid it, hope ya like



Final Resolution

By Shawn M. Johnson

1-18-10



I’m going to do it

This time, the threat is real

It’s written in stone

My fate is sealed

I’ve taken far too much

Much more than I can handle

I’m broken, so let me fade

My life has become nothing more

Than tortured and dismantled



Don’t try to stop me

I’ll load the bullet

And just do it

I just feel so empty

For me, there is no love

I’m rejected by the ones

Down and above

I feel so hurt, but I can’t cry

I’m so selfish

Because now I want to die



This is no lie

With a heart so black

A bullet loaded

I’m prepared to say goodbye

I won’t blame the world

I only find myself at fault

I still don’t know what went wrong

With no one in my life

I can’t remain strong



My hand now shivers

The second thoughts come

Will I finally do it? Or just run?

The gun shakes in my hand

What I really wanted

The cheeks they flow down on

Finally the tears have come

I can break down

With a hope to turn my life around

I’ll put this gun down

Smile as I cry

I’m not going to die



I got my wish

Crying so hard I can’t see

But I know it’s what I need

These tears will be my release

I’ll see past the pain

Realize my life isn’t led in vain

At pivotal moments in our life

We have all felt this way

Praise be the ones

That survived the dark day

Times will always be strange

But for better, all our lives can change

COMMENTS

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littlemissmademoiselle
12:39 Feb 27 2010

very deep and meaningful. i think everyone can relate to this at sometime or another.

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