The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I am in love with the one...

The one I am lucky enough to hold every night.

The one I am blessed to wake up with every sunrise.

The one who keeps me wanting more in life.

This is the one who keeps my heart on beating and has set my soul on fire.

The one and only protector of harm, who guards me with his love.

The eyes of the innocent that make me feel like I am in parodies.

This is the one who takes my breath away and can breathe me back new life.

The one who's kisses can make me cry.

One who can make my day without even trying.

The one's who hands can make me feel a bit excited.

The one who cradles me in his arms to make all my pain go away.

The one who wipes away the tears of sorrow and makes me believe there's always a better tomorrow.

This is the one that has so much more, but I love all the little things that are in store.

The one who I know all sides to.

The one that lets me see the truth.

This is the one who is perfectly imperfect to me.

This is the one who lets me see his weakest points.

The one who is strong with power.

The one who has power of strength and courage.

This one is understanding and gentle.

This one is what ever he wants to be.

The one who does for other.

He is the one who took my heart and I have set him apart.

He is special to me.

Me...

Just a girl who feels like he has given me the world and together we can do so much more.

So much behind an unopened door.

With so many things that we can explore.

Together our adventure will never end.

I'll be by your side till the rest of our time.

I'll be with you on the other side.

With everything I have spoken and left unsaid.

With everything in my heart.

I am in love with this one I have expressed my feelings about.

This feeling...

It is all new.

What did you do to me?

So unique...

Divine pain that destroys my heart.

Why won't the beating stop?

Can't tell you why it started...

I don't understand.

Is all I want for you to be around?

Push it all down...

Mind that plays tricks.

Am I really this sick?

To think it is all gone...

Stay strong.

Why would this be wrong?

You went away...

So far.

Am I to stay?

Alone...

This feeling is not new.

What all did you go through?

New place...

One where you are safe.

How can I deny what I feel inside?

Love...

I know what we had.

But did you feel it too?

Letting ago...

I call a truce.

But in the end am I with you?

Tick Tock...Tick Tock...

Let all time stop.

Watching the clock click by.

Everything rushes by.

Do we truly ever die?

Wondering why.

Where did it all go?

How do I just not know?

It is all so slow.

Where do we go?

In the end.

Is it all just pretend?

Look back.

Nothing will last.

Blimp in time.

Watching it fly by.

Take flight to the sky.

Universal slide.

Slip down in the cracks.

Never to come back.

Repair the flare.

Let the fire glare.

Fill the heart.

Burn and lets restart.

It's the end.

Shake hands and lets begin.

I am the biggest liar.

Stuck in my own denial.

Knowing the truth and understanding what is fake.

Going right but you are in the way.

Cant't get away.

Wanting to stay.

Or so I say.

In so much confusion I have lost my way.

Around and around every day.

God, take me to the right place.

I want to end this race.

Slow down and take a step back.

I am lost in my tracks.

take in my mistakes.

Balance inside.

I have lost my mind.

Right and wrong.

I don't care anymore.

Pushed to the edge.

Ready to take my last step.

Falling...

I am already at the bottom of the pit.

No room to move.

If I had it I wouldn't know what to do.

Controlled.

I am limited.

No clock to keep track.

I am stuck on the top track.

Still trapped in my case.

This cold tight space.

It is filled with emptiness.

Just enough air to not breathe.

When am I released?

As I reach out for something I can not have.

How did it get so bad?

Never understood it could be good.

Misunderstood.

Break down and wrap it all up.

Up inside and run and hide.

Don't go.

You'll never go away.

You are here to stay.

Stay with me.

To unsure to comprehend what it all really means.

Gleaming down.

You are all around.

Only in my mind?

Have I gone blind?

Finally.

Am I lost and need to say goodbye?

Waiting on your reply.

I won't receive it until I die.

You are already gone.

No longer in my arms.

The reason that I still cry.

Never got to say goodbye.

No reason to still try.

My life now is just a lie.

Please tell me why.

Why this pain feels so real.

Are you my purpose to die?

No reason.

Just deny.

Bound to be alone.

Nobody to call my own.

World came crashing down around.

Harder for me then it was for you.

Everything is slow and then stops.

I am paralyzed.

You are paralyzed in time.

Everything zooms around you.

Loosing control.

You wanted to let go.

While I still hang on and you are gone.

It is not fair.

How dare you for no caring.

Thinking about everyone you left behind.

You are gone!

Too far.

How do I go on?

Sitting here everyday living with out you.

Waiting.

Waiting for that awful reply...

Dry my tears of tomorrow.

The past is gone.

I'm stuck in sorrow.

Unknowing of today.

Looking for a way.

Gave all I was.

Make time undone.

Go back.

Now is already gone.

Knew everything was nothing.

Thought it was right.

Make it all better.

Fix what is wrong.

But everything is okay.

What is said goes.

It is all in a row.

Follow the path.

One you didn't design.

You have to decide.

Two evils.

Put it all beside.

Take a ride.

Fly to beyond.

Look further then the eye can see.

Look inside you and me.

Empty shells.

Full of life.

Release me so I can find the light.

Breaking every rule.

Trying to behave.

Lost in a daze.

Yesterday...?

What was?

What is?

What will be?

Questions.

That need answers.

No reasons.

Why?

Why are we?

What to do?

We will all loose.

To win in the end.

Just around the bend.

The beginning.

Ten..Nine..Eight..Seven..Six..Five..Four..Three..Two..One...

Count down that never starts.

For we have been here all along.

No memories.

Transparent.

Black and white.

Purpose.

What is life?

What is next?

Take the time.

Desire..

Love..

Lust..

Hate..

Human..

Be human.

To much to ask?

Break the glass.

Surround myself.

Warmth and beauty.

Dark cold night.

I need to take flight.

All that is.

Be all you are..

Hold it all back..?

Break free.

Is it all random or meant to be?

Look around and stand.

Good advice?

Look inside.

Find yourself.

Let go and explore.

Out of your mind.?

Just unwind.

Let go and just pretend.

Give in or don't?

Choose.

Indecisive.

Blow...

Flow...

Go...Just GO!

Because all will end.

But maybe start again.

One more day of yesterday to make it tomorrow of sorrow to begin the end so we can win...

Be free.

No more questions of wrongs and rights.

Turn on the dark and let it be light.

No need to fight.

No more worries or cares.

Just take flight.

Goodbye...

It is not the end of all.

It is the end of pain.

End of the unknowing and of being afraid.

This end is the beginning.

The beginning of freedom.

Spare me from this place.

Let me be in your presences and feel your grace.

My time...

Please take me now.

But why haven't I been chosen?

Am I not good enough?

Am I not ready to rest?

How much more do I need to learn?

How much more can I grow?

Please teach me.

Show me the way.

Guide me in my final days.

Love...

Let me love all.

Let me know where to go.

What to do and what to say.

I am listening now.

Help me truly hear what you have to say.

Heal me.

Mend all my old ways.

I give you praise.

Raise me to be all that I can.

I just want to understand.

All...

What is?

These words and all my questions.

Why am I so misunderstood?

Left alone.

I just want to go home.

Where rules are in play.

I live them everyday.

So why am I stuck here?

What more is for me?

Only you know.

Shine a light on my darkened path.

There's no book or map.

I can't go back.

I am close or do I not really know?

Confused.

Reaching out.

Please just reach back.

That is all I can ask.

What will you do one day when I don't care at all?

When I stop crying and getting hurt.

When I stop having emotions at all towards you or the things you do.

One day you will look at me and say sorry and I might just walk away.

What then..?

I can't sit here and write about it because not caring about you brings me to tears.

I love you.

I want to be here.

So stop...Stop pushing me away.

Useless?

Then why keep me?

So when you feel down at least I am around?

At least...

At least I am better then nothing.

Well I would rather be nothing.

Nothing to you so I can be something to someone.

Someone who loves all of me.

Someone who will be happy to go my paste.

Someone to stay by my side.

Hold my hand and tel me it will all be alright.

That I don't need to be perfect because there is no such thing.

As long as we are together we can do anything.

I eat to loud.

I act to slow.

I don't always know where to go.

What to do?

What to say?

I try to play.

All I want is to bring a smile to your face.

But I feel like it would be better if I just went away.

I know there's love.

You say i am the sunshine in your life.

But why do I have to put my feelings aside?

The jokes and the words that don't mean anything, haunt me when I am trying to dream.

I toss and turn hearing our play fights in my head when I try and sleep at night.

I love you and want you all my life but I can't stand having mix thoughts cross my mind.

I am sorry for the way I am.

I am sorry I need you to hold my hand.

I am sorry for the irritating things I do.

But what are they so irritating to you?

Am I slow or are you just to fast?

Am I dramatic or do you just expect me to not react?

Sensitive or does it really hurt?

I know it doesn't mean a thing.

But then why do i always remissness and remember the stuff that "doesn't mean a thing"?

Small things can be the biggest.

Love only means something if it's complete.

Love me for my flaws more then my perfections.

Stay by my side when I struggle the most.

Act like you want to be by my side so I don't feel alone.

Don't single me out.

If I pull the covers and you get cold, don't yell.

Say "babe, it's cold", and snuggle me close.

I know my defaults more then you.

I've lived with them my whole life.

Yes i have learned from my mistakes.

I know how to pick up the pace.

You should try being in my place.

I didn't choice you to learn how to be perfect.

Give me a chance.

I try so hard for you but you won't do the same.

I want to be loved.

For everything about me.

That's all i am.

You ask, "did you dream"?

Dream of what?

"Of a guy like me"?

No.

I didn't dream of a guy like you because I didn't know I could dream of perfection.

I dreamed of hell.

A twisted world to wrap myself up in every night.

And when i woke...I was still dreaming.

Dreaming...

Something that i can no longer imagine.

No longer can i feel alone.

No longer can i feel empty.

I can not have days or nights of pretending.

Pretending to be something im not.

You are always on my mind.

Always by my side, even when you are not.

My dream, just to get by.

But you have opened my eyes.

This dream...

When you came to me.

This dream...

Perfection.

It was not real to me.

You have to walk through my hell.

My dream must dream of me.

Me...?

This lost soul.

Dark painful world where I am all alone.

This dream has to be more twisted then me.

For i may be lost but they...they are looking to enter my world when I am trying so hard to find a way out.

You are my way out.

Your darkness is my light.

You are my demon of the night.

My guild through the unknown.

You are my home....

I am tired...

I am tired of being the one.

The one who feels...feels like they have to do it all.

Do everything for everyone!

Everyone..?

But where is everyone?

I am alone...

I am all alone and all i can do is sit here and ask myself, where did they all go?

Needing you, more then anyone could understand.

Even more then you or me.

I need you...

I am unraveling and you are my new string.

Pull my pieces back together.

Fix me?

Maybe the problem is i am using you to fix myself when really I need to fix myself alone.

And why..? Why do I need fixing?

Am I broken?

Am I coming unglued?

All the old needs to be replaced with new.

Are you a replacement?

Just a new habit?

Everything else...everyone else ended up wrong.

But you..? What about you?

Will you be any different?

Are you the healthy habit i long for?

One i can hold? To use at my ever will.

Pain fought with pain.

Pain drowned by blurred memories to seek out some peace.

What do you bring?

Love...

When the tears start falling, a blade won't slide over them, a pill or drink won't dry them up.

Make it where i can't think anymore and the tears can no longer flow.

Will you be there to dry my tears and make me feel like I have no need for the sadness I feel?

Here for my distractions.

When you are not here, where do i go to make it all go away?

Will you die with all my other bad habits?

Will this one break?

Loving this habit and I want it to stay.

Are there more to these rules and this game we don't know how to play?

Not understanding if this is good or bad.

With happiness so near much else is forgotten.

What is the end?

Who's to know whats right or wrong?

How to deal with pain and what is the proper way.

All habits can stay...

The rest can fade away.

Sitting, starring into this screen in a lost dazed.

I can't recall the things that they said, just kept replaying distractions in my head because I have lost interest once again.

Scenarios play over and over again.

Just thinking about how each one would end...

Passing out, throwing up, blood filled tub, it is all a mess.

Didn't want to hurt that way, Didn't want to ruins everyone day.

Snapped out when a new distraction came along.

Stay smart and keep the spirit high.

Only getting hopes up thinking something could actually help.

Thought I could talk and make it go away..?

Maybe I just needed you to say "cheer up babe, it goes away".

But no, that distraction fades away as soon as I imagine things that could have played out.

Taking my hand and holding me tight.

Making me feel that at least this will be a good night.

Sitting, starring into the dark, no distraction..

Going round and round in my own head, knowing all this thinking is just a dread.

Just wanting to go to bed.

instead I torture myself and believe it's not my intent.

Being a victim to myself until i am continent.