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CPogue's Journal


CPogue's Journal

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1 entry this month

 

Snippet One & Cover Reveal

20:18 Jul 30 2020
Times Read: 450



Photos By Cade


10:32 P.M. AUGUST 1ST 2018
Glass shattered against the wall and fell to the floor scattering and bouncing against the hard wood. Anger seemed to have left her fingertips along with the object, and as sadness finally hit, the woman fell to her knees. Leaning forward her hands flew in front of her as if to grip the floor. Tears fell landing silently upon the debris and wood in puddles. First one or two, then dozens. Her hands lost their grip and between lack of sobriety and traction her body slid forward and clamored roughly into the glass. Rolling on to her side her tears started to slow. Blood mixed in with the glass from small cuts to her body. It looked worse than what it really was, the physical damage. It was the damage to her heart, and her mentality that was the worst. The feelings of abandonment, loss, inadequacy, and now the creeping numbness right behind it. Those were the most damaging. They were creating a monster that would all too soon wither away from this world.
Closing her eyes she could feel it all slipping away. Reality. Emotion. Pain. She felt tired, and less than human now. Hollow filled with an urge to sleep, and as she lay still and quiet a fleeting feeling a fear attempted to crawl down her spine.

CHAPTER ONE: THE FOUNTAINHEAD

The town was buzzing with news this morning, and for some reason the eyes and whispers were directed at him. Cole sat in his car and tried to shake the feeling that everyone was watching him and looked down at his phone. He had fallen asleep last night in his tipsy daze and forgotten to charge it, so now when he needed it most, his distraction’s battery was dead. Tapping the phone against his leg anxiously he waited for the familiar Apple logo to light the screen. Cole had never been good at being the center of attention, even when it was good attention. He would fidget and fumble through his words trying to find a way out of the conversation before it even started for the most part. There were select few people he would really have meaningful exchanges with, and none of those people were here. The man dared himself to sneak a peek outside, and it was even worse now. Half of his fellow employees were standing outside the doors in a circle, all staring, and all whispering. Furrowing his brow in frustration he fumbled for his cigarettes that he had tossed in his passenger seat. Lighting one quickly he threw his lighter back in the seat and bounced off of something. His book. He had finally gotten it back a couple of days ago from an ex of his, if she could be labelled that. He had tried for years to get her to read it, and now after seeing its wear, she probably had a dozen times. “The Fountainhead” was one of his favorites not only for a few select quotes that he could recite at any given point of the day, but because of its context in general. Something that very few people would understand.
His phone came to life sending off a small vibration against his leg. Relieved he picked up and gave a small smile. His girlfriend was smiling back at him. The photo was all he had to look at throughout most of the day to remind him that she was still there, considering she lived so far away from him right now. Between work and school, she stayed busy. Busy enough to only make a few calls during the day, and one long one at night. Cole didn’t mind though. She would be his soon. Of that he was sure. August 1st is what they had promised each other.
The notifications began to pour in now. His mother, his friends, and even his girlfriend had tried calling him to no avail. What the hell was going on? Then his phone began to ring. It was his friend Reggie.
“Hey Reg, what’s up?” Cole began, but the caller interrupted him rather quickly in a frantic voice.
“Cole, man where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you since five this morning!” Reggie shouted.
Confused, Cole tried to explain he had been drinking on video chat with his girlfriend, but again his friend cut him off.
“Dude, Anora is in ICU.” The first non panicked thing Cole’s friend had said yet, and it was a hard blow.
“What do you mean? What happened?”
“No one knows. She is in really bad shape. The cops think someone attacked her, but I don’t know man.” Reggie replied. You could hear the worry in his voice, and it gave Cole a sick feeling to his stomach. Looking up briefly, Cole now realized why everyone was staring at him.
“Reggie, people aren’t thinking I did it, are they?”
He was met with silence, then the phone line went dead. He pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it for a moment in disbelief. Were people really thinking he could have done something like this? Frustrated now, he could feel the heat fly into his face, and it scorched his tan cheeks red. How could they think so low of him? Anora was the one that was crazy, not him. Not him. Shaking his head, Cole threw his car in reverse and sped out of the parking lot. The hospital was on the other side of town, but now he was determined. Determined to clear his name. He just wasn’t ready to see her again. Their separation hit her hard, and Anora hadn’t been the same since. She took to drinking, and not eating. She had lost so much weight the last time he had glimpsed her that she looked almost like a cancer patient. She was standing at the counter in their local grocery store, and when they caught each other’s gaze her eyes looked dead. There was no expression of emotion left on her pale face, just coldness. He had tried to catch up to her, but by the time he had checked out she was gone. A memory he wished he didn’t have. He could still see her ruby smile, and bright blue eyes. He could remember the smell of her red hair, and the way it felt flowing through his fingers. She was so beautiful, and so lively before. Cole looked down at the speedometer and let off the gas. He had been speeding and didn’t even realize it. Just flowing through the roadways on auto pilot almost. Looking in his rearview mirror he found something else he wasn’t paying attention to. Red and blue lights were right behind him, and the driver was probably pretty irritated with him now.
Pulling off the road, Cole turned into a gas station and watched as the officer pulled in right behind him. Rolling down the window he then pulled his wallet from his back pocket. Where was the insurance card, though? Even more frustrated now he began digging through his center console in search of this paper. He could see the officer with a glance stop at the back of his car and radio in before touching the taillight. Strange behavior for the cops in this town, most of them knew him since he was a boy. Especially this officer in particular.
“Hello Cole.” He hadn’t been prepared for the officer to be at his window so quick. He had turned his attention back to trying to find the damned insurance paper.
“Officer Maxwell, how’re you?” he replied. The officer maintained his friendly face and smiled, “oh you know, wondering why you were doing ninety in a forty-five”. Cole’s eyes went wide. He knew he had been speeding, but it must not have registered just how fast he had really been going.
“Cole? Are you okay?” The officer asked him, concern now furrowing his old forehead. Cole had seen that look before a long time ago. Officer Maxwell had been the one to deliver the news that Cole’s father had been shot and killed in the line of duty. He was only eight and it had been his birthday. Remembering back, everyone was there waiting for his father Jonas to come in so they could start, instead, his partner Ricky had come instead. Cole remembered getting dizzy right after Ricky told his mother, and then waking up to that face. He had fainted.
“Ricky, I just found out that Anora was in ICU, if I am going to be honest, and I really don’t know what to do about it. I was on my way to go see how she was doing, and I guess I just rightly wasn’t paying attention.”
Officer Maxwell hung his head for a moment, but when he raised his eyes once again to meet Cole’s there was something in them that said he didn’t believe what he was just told. “Now Cole, how exactly did you not know?” He questioned in a carefully toned voice. Cole couldn’t believe it. Why was Ricky looking at him like a suspect? What the hell? This man knew him since he was a child! How could he?
“Ricky are you seriously looking at me like I might have had something to do with shit, right now?” Cole spat back. Now he was angry. Above everyone else on planet earth, he would’ve thought Ricky fucking Maxfield would’ve known better. The officer put his hand up to his vest and widened his stance. Raising an eyebrow down at him, Ricky breathed slowly and carefully as if he was waiting for Cole to make a wrong move.
“I’m going to follow you up to the hospital Cole,” he started “just to make sure nothing goes on that shouldn’t”.

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