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I'm heading to decabar in a little bit ... happy new year!

Today is however a day of rest, the end of December, dearest month, and perhaps I should be creating something during these hours that I have decided to spend alone. Sew something, perhaps. Clay is lying in a pile, waiting to be formed into something with decided shape, but my hands are so very cold that I doubt I will be able to shape anything.



But I might well sew something, if I can find my fabrics. I have no patterns to use for instruction, but I have long since learned to make ones of my own, sketches on paper used to make shapes out of fabric.



I think perhaps I will.

Dora is anxious, and I have the headache all over again. Blue skies, and the winter sun is so very cold, even here. Little brother tells me to get on medication when I state that I miss the darkness of Scandinavia, because he is the kind of creature that falls into bouts of depression when the days grow short and the dark seems never-ending. We are such opposites, as I am bound to fall into listless lethargy after Ostara, when everything gets brighter, and oh, I slept through most of the summer days, kept the blinds drawn. Just like papa, who is so sensitive to bright light, and is always wearing his sunglasses to keep from getting headaches. While I am not quite as sensitive as that, it has been getting worse with the years ...



I miss papa, I miss his silent mirth whenever his moods come upon him, and more than that, I miss being little, sitting huddled up on the kitchen floor with papa, dissecting radios, a broken walkman, cassette players, poking at the wiring and building something new out of the carcasses. Or sitting up at night and telling fantastical stories to each other, helping one another build new plots, and there are still stories that we can recall together, things that we built together and that no one can take from us.



I miss my darling mermaid princess, all the nights she would lie next to me and be my siren, singing softly in my ear to distract me from what sorrows were eating me. I try to believe that I am happier now, here, but though I have sisters with me, I miss all the ones I was forced to leave behind. I shall have to return to them. Perhaps next autumn, perhaps the start of the new year, perhaps I can return to celebrate Samhain with them.



But today, I need to treat the headache, and I have drawn the curtains, I have brewed a pot of tea, and I have cooked some soup. And soon enough, it will be the first month of their new year, and I shall be able to huddle into the safety of our haven once more.

It's already late, almost midnight. All over again. Perhaps it's time to go out and play, again, soon, soon, always soon.



Playing with the other children is more bother than reward lately, I must admit. Much as it pains me to say so, while I do enjoy this new location, I miss the sweet ones I was forced to leave behind.



I hope they will realise that I do not mean to abandon them. I will return, soon enough. Soon enough.



Dora has called me, now and again, trying to force guilt onto me, enough that I will return. I miss my all my darlings, while I find new ones all the time.



Perhaps my squirrel friend will be able to help me find ways that we can bring all us sisters back together; it really hurts to have such physical distance between us, when the hearts feel ever so close.



Well. Seeing the time here, perhaps Dora is up and about by now, and as such, I should give her a ring. Just a short talk, to hear my dear ones' voices ...

Nothing much to say right now, but am still looking for something nice to wear for New Years, when sister and I are going off to DecaBar to dance into the new year! I am sure it will be most excellent, indeed.



And then, only a few more days before moving to the new lair, and after that, there's the alamode event to attend. And soon after, it will be time for the Midnight Mess again, and hopefully the hunting grounds will be much more satisfying this time ...



Still saving up, however. Always, always saving up, so that my mermaid princess may come and visit us soon.