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My heart.. pains.. it aches in agony.. longing.. joy.. confusion.. questions..



Why?? You never told me..

It's been almost a year now.. one more week and it will be.. since the day you left me.. for someone else.

I understood your choice.. but I did not understand the reason that compelled you to make that once choice..



I want to cry.. but my tears sting my eyes and are like acid upon my face.. Because I've cried so many times about this situation alone.



My heart still has yet to heal from what it was cradled in.. It felt like it was loved.. in comfort floating above the skies in warmth.. but until the separation and the cut off of your love.. I felt scared.. falling at that fast rate.. towards the ground at deathly speed. And my heart landed fatally.. God, my family, my friends helped me peice back what was left of me.. and i am almost whole. But those cracks are still there.. and that place for you still has not been filled up.



I'm bruised with the memories that you and I had shared.. and it stabs me and causes me to wince when it is touched.



A year.. ago, I was truly in love, I thought. And you thought.. until it all changed within a matter of 2 weeks. I didn't do anything wrong.. tell me.. there must've been something you must have not liked though. And Let me say this.. I am willing to change.. and do not worry for when I change it is my will. And I love and do like many things, so when I change.. it is just slightly in my habits although I am still myself.



Was I ugly?? Could you not look me in the face?? Was I not what you wanted?? Was I too perfect?? But than that must of meant you did not know me.. for I have many flaws..



I can't stand this.!!!! I still love you, but I don't want to anymore, oddly my heart is resistant to stop loving you.. and talking to you as only friends makes me want to cry... the back of my mind whispers.. take me back.. take me back.. please.. if you still love me.. take me back.. I know that you are a fool, and you are indecisive, but were you that foolish to let go of something over simple confusion?

No.. my true self speaks.. He is a downright fool and he does not deserve me. He never truly loved me.. he did not care for me nor did he show it.. He is blinded by his own actions. But I watch around me about what I do and what others do. Sam, you are not good for me. Although I love you.. I do not think.. that.. I may not be able to pull through the suffering..

You would not treat me how I should be, nor will you be there for me. Because.. you do not know.. what love is.. and you do not know.. how to treat someone in love. You are still a kid.. but.. I pray for you. and my blessings for you are.. that you will grow and learn (: That you will experience happiness and that you will move on and learn to do the right things. I hope you learn.. not to play with people's hearts.

But.. I think you learned a bit, not exactly.. though I believe you're getting there.

Best of Luck~ My friend, My lost love. I will let you go.. in due time.. and I will find.. someone.. better for me~~

6-26-09

Although I love my family and my brother especially and dearly.

It is rather annoying when I cannot be left in peace. Especially when I am on this sight.

Being judged is the last thing I want, and when it happens I do not take it lightly.

Nonetheless, sometimes I may not care. But to hear from the people I care , I listen.

Hey there friends,

My dearest apologies that I have been absent for such a long time.

As I have noticed, most of my friends have deleted their own profiles. Quite a bummer I believe, I was beginning to grow very fond of them.

I have many personalities as you may know, if you truly know me (:

I may be strikingly confident or sometimes innocently shy.

I may be feeling seductive like a goddess or pure like a flower.

I hope to have fun again here, if not, I may disappear once more.

Well, I am back once again from my long absence. And I'd love to make new friends (;



Here is my santuary to show my other self. And I embrace it and wish to exercise my other character.



Much love xoxo,

Trindaeya & Monica



As a funny sidenote and as to why I only sign Trindaeya & Monica.. haha I am being scolded a bit by Trinity as of now ;P Being a tease and flirting is not what she likes of us haha she'd rather us be friendly instead. She is being stubborn and does not want to sign the simple entry. haha