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I sit and wait,

In this cold room,

With a very dim light,

Seeing my own breath,

As I freeze to my bones.



Thinking what is this place,

How did I get here?

Does someone want to hurt me?

Or do they want to toy with me?



It scares me as I sit alone,

With the cold stone floor,

Under my bottom,

Making my blood run cold.



I feel my lungs start to close,

With every cold breath I take,

I want to get free,

Crying out for help every night or day,

How am I to know with a room,

With no windows?



How could this happen to me?

Did I do something wrong?

Is someone trying to punish me?

Or are they just playing with me?



I'm scared and I feel my tears,

Freezing to my cheeks,

It hurts feeling this cold,

And I think I'm going to die.



I just want to be free,

To feel the sun on my face and skin,

But as I keep crying for help,

I realize no one knows I'm gone.



Then one day,

The doors with a bang,

Jerking me from my cold sleep,

Watch a tall man coming into the room,

With a big grin on his face.



I knew that this could be the end,

As he comes near me,

Tearing off my clothes,

Pressing my cold body to the cold floor,

Spreading my cold legs apart,

As he starts to undo his pants.



And he starts to rape me,

As his warm hands choke the life from me,

I know that I've been here for two days,

And he plans to end my life this way.



I cried as he raped me,

And choked me to death,

When I felt him pulse in me,

I started to fade from life.



My spirit left my body,

And I watched him get up,

Then kicked my lifeless body,

As he said, "What an ugly bitch."

My spirit cried,

As he also said, "I'm glad I killed her."



"She had no right to live."

I couldn't believe this,

Even when I had a child waiting for me,

And now, she'll know I'll never come home.



Why didn't anyone know I'm gone?

Did no one really care?

I'll never know for when my spirit turned,

The light of heaven lifted my soul,

To the gates of heaven.



And to this day,

I watch my daughter grow,

To become the most beautiful woman like me,

I never believed my killer's words,

Because what my daughter turned out,

Is how I look.



I jerked from my sleep,

To realize it was just a dream,

But it felt real,

And to this day,

I can never sleep.



It's sad really,

But I had to make sure,

I knew I was alive,

And that what I dreamt,

Would never happen,

Or at least,

I hope not in my lifetime.



I had to watch my daughter grow,

And I planned on it,

To keep myself living,

No matter happened,

I won't ever let myself die,

By no one in this life or the next.



Because I'll always protect,

My beautiful precise daughter,

I promise her this.

It's the feeling of love in your heart,

When you feel a child in your stomach,

To feel he or she kick against your skin,

To hear he or she heartbeat when you sleep.



And you become impatient,

When you have to wait nine months,

Wanting he or she out so bad,

To hear their little cries,

And hold their little bodies in your arms.



To see their eyes looking at you,

Showing the look of love and wonder,

How they got there in that room,

To see their beauty in your eyes.



As they try to focus on their sight,

That's what I had with my child,

Feeling her inside me,

Moving all over the place.



I love her dearly,

But I couldn't wait to have her,

And when I finally did,

She was a beauty to me.



She's three months now,

And she smiles alot,

Thinking everything is funny,

Doesn't laugh yet but soon.



She is my beautiful angel,

And my little sweet princess,

I don't know what I do without her,

She is my everything.



I need her to be in my life,

And I hope when she gets older,

That she'll be able to talk to me.

She is and always will be,

My baby girl.



I love you, Tara.

Please, Trust in me,

When you become older,

Because I will not judge you.



I'll love you no matter who you are,

What you do,

Or how you have changed,

Because you'll always me my little baby girl,

No matter how old you'll get.



May you be a wonderful child,

In you're life.

Mommy loves you,

No matter what.



For my daughter: Tara