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DeadlyXDesire's Journal


DeadlyXDesire's Journal

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PROFILE




19 entries this month
 

Drowning in Darkness

06:01 May 27 2009
Times Read: 693




The tears flow in sorrow and pain

Threatening to take over my soul

The hurt coming down in a heavy rain

The emotions are beginning to takes it’s toll



Wanting all the pain to end

Hoping to see better days ahead

But nothing appears to be around the bend

Everything appearing as though it is dead



Wanting to have the darkness take me down

Forever lost in the depths of ebony water

Feeling my lungs give out as I drown

Death calling me his beloved daughter



Knowing there is a place in which I am wanted

Though it may be just a river of darkness

No longer will my soul feel haunted

Drowning in the depths feeling Death’s caress



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



LOSTXSOUL
LOSTXSOUL
06:08 May 27 2009

No matter how we feel at certain times,the unknown of next week tells us why we continue and must.



Ade Xx




 

Depression

05:58 May 27 2009
Times Read: 694




Sitting in a smoke filled room

Feeling so completely alone

Fighting off feelings of doom

Chilling right to the bone



The misery is overwhelming

Threatening to take hold

Numbness overtakes feeling

Leaving the soul stone cold



Nothing left to live for

Happiness a thing of the past

Hope has swept out the door

Leaving a sky that is overcast



Darkness seems a way of life

The flame has burned out

Loneliness that cuts like a knife

Silence is all about



Not caring for a thing at all

Severing ties that bind

Erecting a stone wall

Forever to hide behind



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
06:37 May 27 2009

You have the most beautiful Soul and an indomitable one. You are Loved for who and what you are.



Ade XX




 

Dark Demons

05:57 May 27 2009
Times Read: 695




The only things I can feel now

Is such a deep hurt inside

The demons that are within

From which I cannot hide



Wishing for them to release me

Free me from the hell

But they keep me chained

With their dark and evil spell



They like to play games and let

Me think that sometimes I am free

But they are only playing tricks

For their twisted enjoyment and glee



Some say that hell is on this earth

And to this I can attest

A life so full of tragedy and sorrow

Such things one does detest



Others claim that life is what you make of it

To live each day like it was your last

But for those of us it is hard to do

With such a haunted past



No sunlight streaming through into the

Windows of our souls

Nothing there but a hollow heart that

Is full of worm infested holes



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
06:38 May 27 2009

If you can see no Beauty, I know I can, and you have it within yourself.



Ade XX




 

Numbness

05:53 May 27 2009
Times Read: 696




From the day I was conceived I was nothing

Nothing but an unwanted mistake

I guess this is my destiny in life

A lonely road in life is my fate



Feeling nothing anymore my heart

Has turned to stone and wood

There is nothing in my life that

Has ever turned out good



Parents who do not want me as I

Am a burden and a shame

Children who do not claim me

For as a mother I have been so lame



Drying up, falling apart and slowly dying

Like a rose that is withering away

Living life as it comes but not feeling

A thing with each passing day



Not able to see the beauty that

Each day can bring

For having to live this live burns

More than a mere sting



Just going through the motions

And what I must do

But feeling nothing inside but

A hovering dark hue



I have come to accept what my

Life has in store

Knowing there is no joy in my life

No opportunities knocking on my door



Drawing within myself and the

Darkness of my soul

Feeling that within me is

A growing empty hole



Being cut off from everything

I once loved to do and share

Has left me so cold inside

And not having any care



So I accept the numbness

That has crept into my heart

A heart that has crumbled

And completely fallen apart



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
06:41 May 27 2009

You are deeply loved for everything that you are, as 'outside eyes' can often see far more.



XXXXXXXXXXXX




 

Locked Away

05:50 May 27 2009
Times Read: 697




I know that you love me as no one has before

But at times I feel as though I am locked behind a door



Locked away from a world in which there is love and light

Rotting away in the darkness and being hidden from sight



Wishing for a day that I could once again see the sun shine

Savoring the good in life much like a fine expensive wine



So afraid that living here will be the end of who I am

Feeling much like the sacred sacrificial lamb



I am losing all hope of ever being set free

My heart is dying ever so slowly



Where is my white knight upon his strong steed

To plant within my heart a beautiful seed



A seed that which can cause this heart to heal

A heart that will only be his to steal



I know that this can only be a dream

Trickling away like the waters of a stream



Things such as this don’t happen in real life

Only the sharp blade of a double edged knife



A knife that is meant to instill a deep pain

Severing nerves and pulsing vein



Fairytales only exist on the pages of a book

A love to be seen with only a faraway look



Words that are written as deceitful lies

The reader left with false hope in their eyes



All hope for me is gone and is forever lost

A price that was paid with such a heavy cost



I used to believe in the Once Upon A Time

Lost in the melodies and lyrical rhyme



Trying to hide from the pain that was within

The darkness in my soul slowly crept in



The stories lost their beauty and their colors of gold

When reality awoke me with fingers so cold



I know with the words of love that you speak

Trying to give strength to someone so weak



In hopes that your love can unlock the door

And to open up my closed heart once more



DeadlyXDesire



COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
06:43 May 27 2009

I love you Dearly and always will.



Ade XXXXXXXXXXXXX




 

Ghost of the Past

05:48 May 27 2009
Times Read: 698




It came as a shock to hear your voice

After all the time that has gone by

Leaving me confused with what you said

And for the reasons why



What is going on that you decided to call me

I know it was not just to apologize

Or to let me know that we both were wrong

And something we now recognize



You are a ghost of the past now you

Appear to me out of nowhere

I hope that I get an explanation

And know I have no reason to fear



The small talk was all just a cover up

As I could hear the strain in your voice

There is more to the story than you have told

But to tell me will have to be your choice



I told you that I was always here for you

I have said that all along

That no matter what happens in our lives

Our friendship would always hold strong



In time the puzzlement will subside

And the answers will become clear

Even though you are a ghost of the past

In my heart I will always hold you near



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
07:53 May 27 2009

I can feel your sadness.



Ade Xx




 

Country Travel

05:44 May 27 2009
Times Read: 699




Driving down the road and seeing the fields pass by

Leaving me to inhale deeply and release with a sigh



Watching the landscape change as we go down the road

Feeling the stresses of life as they begin to unfold



An inner peace begins to take over me

Just viewing nature brings such sweet serenity



With the windows down and the stereo turned up

Filling my soul like an over abundant cup



Feeling the sun as it comes through the glass

Arms hanging out to wave at people as we pass



Going from farms to wooded areas with ponds

Tree branches outstretched shading us with their fronds



Passing by and seeing the wash as it hangs on clothes lines

Houses covered up with beautiful clinging vines



How I love traveling through the quaint little towns

Community pride worn like the shiniest of crowns



Little country shops displaying their treasures inside

Country artisans selling their wares with pride



Feeling the warm welcome that is so sincere

Unlike the city, there is nothing to fear



The day almost over and the sun begins to set

Leaving a peaceful feeling and the deepest content



Beautiful colors splashed across the evening sky

Reminiscent of an artist who has left their canvas to dry



The cooler night breeze now blowing on my face

Our travels return us home to our own little place



Entwined in each other’s arms and gently falling to sleep

The beauty of the day in our memories we will keep



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
06:52 May 27 2009

True Beauty and Reason For Living is Free and in what exists around us, if we care to look and appreciate. Keep your eyes wide open and drink in the Beauty of Life, which is there, always.



Ade Xx




 

Darkness in America

05:32 May 26 2009
Times Read: 729




In the era in which we live it is easy to get depressed

Not wanting to get out of bed, let alone getting dressed



Jobs are hard to come by and cupboards are bare

Easy to give up and not seeming to care



Feeling the impact of these times that are so rough

Giving up on life, enough is enough



Businesses closing their doors at such a fast rate

Is this going to be our future or can we change fate



Not knowing where to go or direction to turn

Economic hardships into our pockets they burn



Giving up on dreams as there is no sign of relief

Heavy hearts weighted down with worry and grief



No hope in sight for the nightmare to end

Wondering what horrors lie around the bend



Contemplating what the future holds in store

Ripping out our souls, leaving a hollow core



Does Corporate America or our politicians give a shit

That they have pushed the working man into this hellish pit



Is it any wonder why crime rates are rising

Layoffs abound with massive downsizing



Bring back the jobs so that we can cope

America needs to see a glimmer of hope



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:38 May 26 2009

We are pawns for somebody's Larger Game, but our Souls no-one can destroy.



Ade XX




 

Depression

05:30 May 26 2009
Times Read: 730




Sitting in a smoke filled room

Feeling so completely alone

Fighting off feelings of doom

Chilling right to the bone



The misery is overwhelming

Threatening to take hold

Numbness overtakes feeling

Leaving the soul stone cold



Nothing left to live for

Happiness a thing of the past

Hope has swept out the door

Leaving a sky that is overcast



Darkness seems a way of life

The flame has burned out

Loneliness that cuts like a knife

Silence is all about



Not caring for a thing at all

Severing ties that bind

Erecting a stone wall

Forever to hide behind



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:36 May 26 2009

The tenacity and strength of the Soul can move mountains, and you prove this by your sheer endurance. Nothing can ever defeat you.



Ade XX




 

Drowning in Darkness

05:28 May 26 2009
Times Read: 732




The tears flow in sorrow and pain

Threatening to take over my soul

The hurt coming down in a heavy rain

The emotions are beginning to takes it’s toll



Wanting all the pain to end

Hoping to see better days ahead

But nothing appears to be around the bend

Everything appearing as though it is dead



Wanting to have the darkness take me down

Forever lost in the depths of ebony water

Feeling my lungs give out as I drown

Death calling me his beloved daughter



Knowing there is a place in which I am wanted

Though it may be just a river of darkness

No longer will my soul feel haunted

Drowning in the depths feeling Death’s caress



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:33 May 26 2009

You are Loved. So very Loved.



Ade Xx




 

Haunted

05:26 May 26 2009
Times Read: 734




You come to me in my dreams

Tormenting and taunting

Leaving me awake and

Shaking with the haunting



A ghostly presence that was

Once very real to me

Now just a distant dream

A hazy faded memory



Waking with tears rolling

Down my face

Haunted by memories

Of a far away time and place



Memories of a love that once

Was so very real

But the truth in your heart

In time did reveal



A truth that was like

A sharp dagger

Driven deep into my heart

Leaving me to stagger



You killed me with your

Deceipt and lying words

They speared my heart

Like a million swords



Those things always are in the

Back of my heart and mind

Will there be another to love

That I will be able to find



But you come to me in

Spectral visions and dreams

Once again ripping open

My heart’s tattered seams



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:29 May 26 2009

Only One in the world can ever Love you with a profoundness so Complete. You will know as you feel that Love.



Ade XX




 

Light of Love

05:23 May 26 2009
Times Read: 735




Being without you is so very hard to do

Feeling lost and alone and having no clue



My love for you is what gets me through each day

Your love lightens my path to show me the way



One day we will be united as one

Loving arms wrapped around me when the day is done



Enjoying the pleasures that our bodies give

In each other’s hearts we will eternally live



When I look into your eyes and see your handsome face

I know that my heart belongs in one special place



Forever I will be yours to have and to hold

Never again will we be lonely and cold



Wrapped up in a blanket of love

Gazing at the stars of heaven above



Feeling the warmth of what lies in your heart

Together forever and never to be apart



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:26 May 26 2009

It is impossible to gauge the Love flt for someone so Special, and Love is Limitless. You are so very, very Special and always shall be.



Ade Xx




 

Lost in Your Love

05:22 May 26 2009
Times Read: 736




I am lost when you are not here

I just want to be able to know you are near



A piece of me is missing when you are away

I long for the day when you will forever stay



You have reached a part of me I thought was dead

Now I have something to which I can look ahead



The day you declared your love to me

Was the day you opened my heart and set my soul free



One day soon we will be together as one

Our bodies entwined when the day is done



We will make love into the wee hours of night

The love in our eyes shining so bright



Yearning to feel each other’s skin

And the warmth that we find deep within



Falling asleep in one another’s arms

Forever lost in a spell of charms



DeadlyXDesire





COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:22 May 26 2009

For you.



Ade XX



ONLY SOULS CAN TRULY TOUCH



Fused flesh and passion, the solidity of nights,

Those times never forgotten, those sensations and sights,

Earthly are our pleasures, in mortality's heat,

Only Souls Can Truly Touch, and in Love knows no defeat.



After fires will always come calmness, as in wake of a summer storm,

Especially if shared feelings, are far more than merely meant to warm,

Deeper into the wondrous whirlpool, swirling giddily in a blur,

Only Souls Can Truly Touch, our substance is the spur.



There must be more to loving, even though hot kisses and hands please,

Explosive moments and memories, of profound kind the Future sieze,

If there is Love within it, and regard for whom One is with,

Only Souls Can Truly Touch, those Souls who will sincerely give.



So many in a Lifetime, cannot ever know Heaven's Gate,

As often only after death and not guaranteed, do countless numbers have to wait,

But all I know, My Darling, is that Heaven is contained in you,

Only Souls Can Truly Touch, and this I know, through all that you do.



Descending in a dreamworld, but aware of what Love really means,

By what you give me freely, and all of those remembered scenes,

At time of Final Hour, I will die happily, with a smile,

Only Souls Can Truly Touch, yours and mine, Eternity's far longer than just for awhile.




 

Rough Waters

05:20 May 26 2009
Times Read: 737




Darling I know that right now things seem to be very tough

One day we will see smooth sailing and no more waters that are rough



Our ship will come in one day you will see

It will take some work from both you and me



Life is a journey to be shared with the ones we love

No matter what storms are brewing in the skies above



But we must hold tight and keep on our course

Like a rodeo rider who falls but gets back up on his horse



Let us sail the crystal blue oceans of life

Letting the vessel cut through the waves like a knife



Weathering the storms that may come our way

Knowing we will one day anchor in the calmest bay



Gathering up memories like treasures of gold

Reliving the adventures when the stories are told



We must have faith or we will surely fail

So darling let us lift anchor and let the winds fill our sail

DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:18 May 26 2009

Love Overcomes all things, and the deepest of Love shall always endure. You are so well worth loving.



Ade XX




 

Suffering of the Single Parent

05:18 May 26 2009
Times Read: 738


Having to do it all on your own

Can be so very hard

Trying to be both Mom and Dad

Dealt to us by destiny’s card



Struggling to make ends meet

Working as hard as we can

The children suffering the most

A missing parent be it woman or man



Not receiving any help from the courts

And being turned away from help

Leaving us stunned and hurt

Feeling like we are society’s whelp



Seeing these children yearn for more in life

And getting to do special things

But those of us having to say no

Because of what our single income brings



We want so much more for our kids

But we really are left with no choice

Having to see them suffer for it

we keep quiet what we really want to voice



Suffering alone and silent

Watching our kids envy others

Those that have mothers and fathers

Or sharing with sisters and brothers



The single parent with the single child

Has more obstacles to endure

The love we have for our children

Pushes us to strive to be so much more



DeadlyXDesire









COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:15 May 26 2009

Love, ultimately, is all that can ever matter. The strength of Will to survive against all odds is a Badge Of Pride rightly worn.



Ade XX




 

Twist of Fate

05:16 May 26 2009
Times Read: 739




I thought you were different

But you are just like the rest

You failed me miserably when

I put you to the test



You claimed to have loved me

And that it would always last

But when times got tough

You took off running fast



You only care about yourself

And have no concept of what love is

But one day you will think back

To this undying love that you will miss



By then it will be too late as

That time has already come

They say you can leave but

You can never truly return home



One day you will regret the things

That you did and said

When you are lying alone thinking of me

Alone in your single bed



But I sit here smiling and will continue

On with my life

For I know that one day you will know

It was your own heart that you pierced with the knife



I am glad that around my heart

That I built a strong stone wall

Because this time the disappointment

Didn’t leave me with a big fall



Another will come along who

Will know how to treat me well

And it will be you who will have to

Live in eternal torment and hell



Knowing that you threw away

The best thing to have ever come your way

But here I have said my piece and

Have nothing more to say



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
09:01 May 26 2009

Only One who Loves Truly is True.



Ade Xx




 

Wastelands

06:26 May 18 2009
Times Read: 759


Wandering aimlessly through the wastelands of life

Feeling the loneliness cut through me like a serated knife



Not knowing if will ever find my way out of the dead landscape

Praying that death comes and be a welcomed escape



Watching life pass on by knowing that will never be me

Hoping for the day that my soul can fly and be free



Trapped on this earth and the hell that it holds

Observing the injustices as this hellish life unfolds



Wanting to hide and retreat from such a bleak and dismal place

Yearning to feel the dirt as it is shoveled onto my face



Knowing that in death no longer will there be such pain

Reveling in the knowledge that this world is rid of one more stain



My only purpose in life has been to be battered and abused

Being nothing more than an object to by toyed with and used



My life here on this earth has come to an end at long last

Solace is knowing I will be just a forgotten memory of the past



DeadlyXDesire



COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
14:06 May 19 2009

You are a wonderful woman with so much of Worth about you, and 2 candle flames will NEVER be lost.



Ade Xx




 

Awakening

06:24 May 18 2009
Times Read: 760


Feeling a thirst consume me

Like a person lost in the dessert

Wanting nothing but what can quench the thirst

Fueling feelings of violence and disconcert



Wanting to resist the urge growing inside

Looking for other means of extinguishing the need

Nothing can replace the unquenchable thirst

Aching to sink my teeth into flesh and making it bleed



Creating such a euphoric high

That cannot be replaced with any drug

Wanting to hunt the prey

Embracing them in a fatal hug



Puncturing the skin with razor sharp teeth

Feeling the plasm flow down my throat

The warm thick liquid trickling down

My tongue covered in a bloody coat



Letting the crimson tide flow

Much like a beautiful orgasm

The energy ingested courses through

Causing my body to shake and spasm

My senses become more heightened and aware

As the changes begin to take place

Trying to hide the demon inside

A killer lurks behind this face



Many see it as a life of damnation

Others see it as being free

I see it as my inner self coming out

I am finally who I am supposed to be



No longer being weak and feeble

Feeling a strength coming from within

The one who was beaten and abused

Committing the ultimate sin



Feeling a sense of justice

For all the wrongs along the way

A new sense of awareness

The predators have now become my prey



DeadlyXDesire

COMMENTS

-



xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
14:08 May 19 2009

You are the Mistress of your own Destiny. I am proud of you.



Ade xX




 

Mother

20:07 May 11 2009
Times Read: 774




I can't count all the times

that you have been there for me

I can only be thankful for you

for helping no matter what it may be



The times that we have shared

whether it be in sorrow or joy

All the great knowledge and advice

in my life I try to employ



I feel bad because I can't afford

to buy you a gift or a card

But I am trying to give you something

that for some comes by so hard



I am giving you a melody of words

that come straight from the heart

A gift that never dies away

Or in time that falls apart



I may not have much in my life

but so glad we have one another

You are an exceptional woman

whom I am proud to call Mother



DeadlyXDesire

Mother's Day 2009

COMMENTS

-



VAMPIREBONNIE
VAMPIREBONNIE
20:34 May 11 2009

That is beautifull DD





xONYXCRUISERx
xONYXCRUISERx
21:54 May 11 2009

This comes from the heart and is truly lovely.These words can also apply to yourself, too, as you are a Fine Lady.



Ade Xx








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