DireConsequences's Journal
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My Final Fall
23:01 Dec 05 2005
Times Read: 823
I don't know what to do right now
I don't know why, I don't know how
Things got this far in a way I don't recall
But my mind tells me hold on, stand tall
With all these feelings, I can only fall
Paralyzed with fear, I hit a wall
Scared of the sense of being free
Because that has always been just me
Out of great desperation
Comes thoughts of self mutalation
An answer to my prayers
These have always been in my mind, always there
No way to rid my thoughts of this
Just sit back and reminisce
Of the pain and agony that you caused
As you are in these thoughts that are now scars
So say goodbye to me
For I can't be free
I don't want to be this wreck that is me
For I was molded by the past which is a vast sea
It haunts me through the night
Without anything else in my sight
Messing with my head
There's no way to sleep in this bed
It brings back the memories
Of the past that calls me to remember these
Craving to let myself to embrace
With this feeling that is too difficult to face
As I write this I am willing to admit
Life is unfair, falling down a huge pit
The end being hell
The beginning just as well
No inbetween
For that is just a dream
A combination that does not exist
As in the paralyzed making a fist
The fight ending before it begins
As the victim just gives up on struggling against the winds
They crawl into a corner and curl into a ball
That victim is me, I have completed my fall
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