DireConsequences's Vampire Journal

DireConsequences's Journal

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2 entries this month

← Nov 2009

Apr 2013 →

00:22 Dec 22 2009
Times Read: 791

Thinking of reading something I shouldn't...

Something I shouldn't...

...Something I shouldn't...

Thinking of reading something I shouldn't...

So I can laugh in your face and say I told you so!

Oh how I ponder...

Oh how I think...

Should I read this or should it wait?

What's the harm? Why the wait?

Its not like you're coming back to stay!

I don't talk and I don't write.

So should I read something I shouldn't or just sit and gripe?

I'm thinking of reading something I shouldn't...

Something I shouldn't...

...Something I shouldn't...

Should I?

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I think everyone who keeps up with my journal knows what this is about. The one journal on Vampire Rave I refuse to read and the kismet I avoid reading.

So according to your kismet, you're homeless. Nice to know you'll be spending Christmas "alone."

Maybe you will learn to stop going from girl to girl. Just maybe... just maybe...

I mean, hell... one thing you always told me is you usually date "der-a-der" girls. I guess, they're learning how to think hun. I'm pretty sure of it!

The one question on my mind is...

Could this be karma?

COMMENTS

Why?
19:17 Dec 04 2009
Times Read: 818

I see your eyes everywhere I look

Those eyes, the ones that lied

You told me everything would be okay

Yet, it wasn’t. Lies invaded my world

You want to know what’s wrong

I want to know what’s right.

I hide at night knowing you watched me for so long

I feel I’m different. I don’t fit in.

Doesn’t matter what I do or not

I’ll never be good enough for me

You want to know what you did

You ruined my life before it began

I wish you could hang your head low

But you hold it high in your life

I’ve always competed

I’ve always failed

The scars still there from yesterday

Did it really happen?

I look down at my knees, at my chest, at my back

The scars are all there

The nightmares are proof

The flashbacks impossible to deal with

Why did it happen? Why did you do this?

The water and soap never watches the dirt away

Why should it, I’m just a whore used for your pleasure in the end

You wanted me for over a year

Then disposed of me like the trash you said I was

Now I’m alone.

Alone with the damage you did to me

How could this happen?

Why was it to me?

I will get better though

I have no choice

I won’t let you ruin my life completely

I have some control now

There is hope at the end of the day

Is there hope for you now?

COMMENTS