The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

So, I admit it. I'm addicted to food. I love food. It's my comfort when I'm stressed, sad, pissed off. And best of all, it DOESN'T TALK BACK!



Just tried my disgusting protein drink. It's the worst thing that I have ever tasted in my life!!!! And I am NOT exaggerating.

So, I just tasted the Whey Protein powder that is recommended to drink before and after surgery. I'm not thrilled about it. I tried the vanilla and it's very gross. Ugh... left a bad taste in my mouth. But it will be OK. Gotta do what I gotta do.. Right?

Well, a lot irritates me but this is one of the highest...



Women who are 40+ and that look their age...who dress like teenagers. You all know what I am talking about. The older women, who have an okay body, but their ass and boobies sag... They insist on wearing booty shorts and halter tops. Which shows off their flabby tummy and the shorts look like her ass is going to eat them.



Now, I'm not saying FAT. Cause that doesn't bother me. I'm saying people who dress disgustingly and think they look good.

So, I went to the four hour seminar today. I've been to it twice before so it was extremely boring for me. The first two hours was an overview of all the pre-operative stuff. The third hour was of nutrition for 2 weeks before surgery and the post op (forever and ever... rest of your life) eating habits. Finally, the fourth hour was about what's going to happen in the hospital, how long we stay, what to bring... etc...



Turns out I will be in there for 2 nights. So I will go in Friday and be home on Sunday. Thank goodness. Maybe on Tuesday I will feel up to going to school. Maybe I don't have to miss school at all. *crosses fingers* I'm hoping.



Anyway, The first week is clear liquids, the second week is purees (baby food basically) and the third-fourth weeks we start introducing soft foods. We aren't supposed to have starches for up to 6 months after surgery. Gah... this is going to be hard, but I am willing to change my life for this surgery.

I'm really really sick of living with my mom. It seems like I get more depressed and/or pissy when she is around. Perhaps it's the abandonment issues I have with her from when I am younger... Either way, I'm beginning to not want her around at all.



I moved out at 16 because of this. The ONLY reason I moved back in was because I was in a car accident and could not take care of myself. Now I am having surgery to correct my health problems. Hopefully then I will be able to work and get out on my own.



I have someone who wants me to live with him. But I feel bad cause I don't drive and I don't have a job at the moment. I'd have to rely on him to pay my way and get me back and forth to school. That's just not me.

So, Just a few minutes ago I noticed that some people don't see it as wrong if you have online relationships with people while you are committed to someone in real life...



I personally see it as cheating. I don't want my man/woman to have to fantasize online with someone. If they are telling that person online that they love them, or cybering/having phone sex... it's cheating. I truly believe that.



I believe that having an online relationship while you're with someone is just a way for you to not stay faithful and be able to turn around and say "Well, I didn't sleep with them." Or whatever else. If you aren't committed to that one person in Real Life, completely... then why even be with them?

So, I have noticed in almost all of my oldest nieces pictures, she has a sort of white cloud around her. It's kind of weird. Some people would say it's her Aura, but I'm not sure. I know it's something. Something that protects her. I was just looking through the pictures and noticed it...



That is all.

So, the Raiders lost.... I'm never gonna hear the end of it from Brad. He recorded it and hasn't watched it yet. But yeah... Only by 1 point though. That's better than last season's pre-games.

Hellz yeah. Raiders have started off good in pre-season. They beat the Cowboys last weekend. Playing the Niners right now. I know they are gonna whoop the niner's ass! Eat your heart out Brad, Baby. lol

I think it's funny how one can say "I love you" and you have never ever met before. Sure you may have talked on the phone or e-mailed back and forth for a long time. But what about if you ever meet that person. They can promise you the world, then when you actually meet them, they're some psycho. Or better yet. Some KID!.



I just tend to find online relationships for people who can't get someone near them. It's stupid. But that's just my opinion. This isn't meant to offend anyone. So, if ya got a problem with my journal..... DON'T FUCKING READ IT!

For those of you who have children and or work with them everyday.....you'll

appreciate this!





What Love means to a 4-8 year old





Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words

from the mouth of babes.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8

year-olds, 'What does love mean?'



The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined

See what you think:





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'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint

her toenails anymore.

So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands

got arthritis too. That's love.'



Rebecca- age 8



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'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.

You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'



Billy - age 4



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'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and

they go out and smell each other.'



Karl - age 5



________________________________





'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries

without making them give you any of theirs.'



Chrissy - age 6



________________________________





'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'



Terri - age 4



________________________________





'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before

giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'



Danny - age 7



________________________________





'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you

still want to be together and you talk more.

My Mommy and Daddy are like that.. They look gross when they kiss'



Emily - age 8



________________________________





'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening

presents and listen.'



Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)



________________________________





'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you

hate,'



Nikka - age 6

(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)



________________________________





'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'





Noelle - age 7



________________________________





'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends

even after they know each other so well.'



Tommy - age 6



________________________________





'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all

the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.



He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'



Cindy - age 8



________________________________





'My mommy loves me more than anybody

You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'



Clare - age 6



________________________________





'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'



Elaine-age 5



________________________________





'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is

handsomer than Robert Redford.'



Chris - age 7



________________________________





'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all

day.'



Mary Ann - age 4



________________________________





'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes

and has to go out and buy new ones.'



Lauren - age 4



________________________________





'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come

out of you.' (what an image)



Karen - age 7



________________________________



'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's

gross.'



Mark - age 6



________________________________





'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean

it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'



Jessica - age 8



________________________________





And the final one



The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly

gentleman who had recently lost his wife.



Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard,

climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.



When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,





'Nothing, I just helped him cry'



________________________________



Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Caveats: NONE



Classification: UNCLASSIFIED

Caveats: NONE

So, It's 10:34 am and It's my first day out of school. My Friday was yesterday. Man. It's been so exciting, but sooooo exhausting.



This semester is so fun already. I have Math, Biology 11, English 1A, and Psych 4. Math is simple. It's the lower Algebra (pre-algebra) because I did not score high enough on the placement testing. Biology is going to be a little hard I believe. I'm good with chemicals and am good with research.



English is easy. But I really don't like our first research project. We have to research about Michael Jackson's Doctors and make a decision on if the doctor that gave him the drip and the dermatologist should be arrested. I really couldn't care less. Who gives a flying F*CK. But yeah.... Stupid Michael Jackson shit.



Psych 4 is not anything that I thought it would be. It's Experimental Psychology. I thought we were going to learn about the different studies that have been done through Experimental Psychology. It's only week one and it seems like it's Psych 2. Which is Statistics, pretty much. Anyway, we have our first project in Psych 4 due on Sept 1. I just have to ask 21 people, over the age of 18, a question that has a number as an answer... So, here is the question



At what age do you think a person should be held liable for their actions?



Anyone who wants to answer that is over 18, it would be greatly appreciated. I will also send you a message telling you if I am going to use your answer or not.

Anyone who is a friend of mine or knows me, knows I have been waiting to have the Gastric Bypass. For those who do not know what this is, click here



Monday, August 17, I called my Surgeon to see if my insurance had given the OK for me to have the surgery. The Nurse Practitioner said they had the clearance and put me on hold to get the calendar so that she could schedule my surgery date. I almost cried. I have waited for this surgery for almost 4 years now. It is life changing and I am ready.



I am having this surgery done for health reasons. I can't lose weight on my own and I need help. That is just what the bypass is. A tool to help me become healthier and live a much longer, happier life.



So much is going right for me. I am happier than I have been in quite a long time. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel... That light seems to just keep getting bigger.



I'm scared shitless of how this surgery is going to effect my body and mind. But I know and have faith that if I go to the support groups, keep exercising, and eat properly. I should have no problems.



Surgery Day is September 4th. My ex is going to be there for me when I go into surgery. I'm super excited, but scared at the same time.



Lately I have been debating on going into the military next year. After I have gotten into shape and know that I can get through bootcamp. The only thing that wold possibly hold me back would be the pins in my left ankle. But that is about it. I want to do this because it is a quaranteed paycheck. Plus, they will pay for my college after I get out of the Navy. If they put me out to sea, that is fine with me. I have nothing holding me back. I have no children, no husband, nothing. It's about time I do something for myself.

Have you ever loved someone so completely that you would do anything for them. A lot have been in lust, and have even loved, but not many have actually been in love.



I don't know if this is being in love with someone or just infatuation. Either way, it's hurting me not to be with him. I can live my life, but when I think how fully I give myself, body and mind... it's horrible when he does not do that same.



I look at this man and know I would give almost anything to spend the rest of my life with him. I have done everything but tell him this. And he still doesn't get it. I'm good enough to sleep with, but not to be with. When my ex fiance was in prison, I cheated and even dumped my fiance. Because I knew Kenny was the one I wanted to be with.



I have heard from outsiders (both our friends) that he looks as though he is in love with me. And I with him. We are an adorable couple. And when we are alone, we can talk about anything. He doesn't hesitate with me and I do not hesitate with him.



Every day he is on my mind. Maybe not the whole day, but a lot of it. I just wish... I don't know what I wish... Maybe that he would tell me that he is in love with me too.

It's so funny how people are so worried about me putting them in my journal that they look at it every few hours. Or every day. It's truly interesting to me. Also funny! Anyway, Just thought I'd share that.

It really sucks when you don't have money to buy necessities that are demanded in life. I sit here wondering if my mother will ever understand the strain she puts on me when she gripes and complains about not having money, then turns around and spends the little bit that she does get. Three times in the last month I have helped my mother put money into her bank account because she was overdrawn. I'm so sick of pulling her out of tight spots and getting nothing in return.



I'm stressed about how I am going to pay for my books at this point. How I'm going to get back and forth from school... It's just all... Getting to be too much for me.

So, I lost a very very good friend that I cared about and loved very much due to this petty shit with DS. What's funny is I thought he was such a great friend, but when I needed him to back me up the most, he wouldn't. It hurts to see him around, but thus is life. Right?

So, I won't be on as much as I have been come Monday, August 17. I actually have a life and am starting back to College. It's been fun pissing people off (even though I didn't intentionally do it), But I am sure they will like to know that I won't be around as much. But I will never be completely gone. Hehe.



Can't get rid of me that easily.



I'm real excited about going back to college. Can't wait till I see what this new Psych class is like. I hear it's pretty tough. I am confident in my abilities though.

So, I received a threat that was passed onto one of my friends to give me. That I was whining and bitching too much and that I was going to be banned.



Now, I thought that the Staff would actually message you and give you a warning. I've never been warned in the box, or anywhere else for that matter. But oh well. I'll cool it. As long as these children don't keep talkin shit.

So, I have been watching Shark Week on Demand. It's actually pretty interesting. It seems as though the Bull Shark is the most dangerous near show. But then again, there are a very very few cases that a great white attacked near the bank.



Did you know that the movie Jaws was inspired by the Shark attacks in 1916? I didn't either. Researchers could not believe that a Great White could be involved in attacking humans throughout the country. One researcher also believed that no shark was capable of breaking through bone. Little did he realize.



Reading a journal from 1916 on Discovery.com, I laugh when I see "It is highly unlikely that we should ever hear of another shark incident on this coast" Before 1916, there was no record of a man ever being bitten by a shark in the United States.



Reading these stories are sending shivers down my back. I've only been in the ocean a handful of times, but have never been deeper than my knees. Because I am so paranoid, I probably will never go deeper than that. Unrealistic, I know. But better safe than sorry.