The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I used to think I couldn't live without this place. For the most part I was right. For a whole year this place gave me something to look forward to. I knew I could come here and people I grew to trust and even loved would be here to listen to me, no matter how stupid the story. I got severe withdrawal when my life shifted and I lost the internet. I turned into something I don't even recognise now. I was an angry, spiteful, depressed and neglected soul. I lived off one meal a day, some days not even bringing myself to eat. After I got the internet back I didn't improve, it got worse and I was living on around 2 hours sleep every second day. I stayed up nights at a time, most stints I lost count after 40 hours awake. I still drove my car, still worked, and then when it got dark I would come on here and spend the night until the sun rose. I did some things I'm not proud of, I got my parents in trouble with the cops, from something I didn't even think about. I didn't have a conscience at that point, and I think I may have lost it forever. I now get major mood swings where I will be talking away one second, and kicking heads in the next and then after 5 seconds act like nothing has happened. I beat my boyfriend and put a hole in the wall after he turned the internet off, and I still don't feel bad for it, this was 6 months ago, the only thing I feel bad about is that I still don't regret it. I got better after seeing a psychologist, but she had to leave town because the medical centre couldn't afford to keep her here. Not 2 weeks later I almost wanted to kill someone. And honestly if I had I don't think I would have regret it. People make me angry now, they never did before. I snap so fast it's like I have no control.



So if you start to feel like you can't live without this place, find a hobby that gets you into the sunshine. Even if you don't feel like it at first, do it. You'll regret losing your mind when you can't control it. I jump on here every now and then, but don't let it swallow you up like it did to me. Don't get me wrong, I loved the time I spent here, I just wish I could have stayed human doing it.