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He wasn't in this dream. Odd i was hopping he would come again. This time i actually woke up. I found myself to be in a cemetery. Not the one next to my home. But by the looks of it an abandoned one, in disrepair. It was very quiet. It was still night and the moon was out. Then they appeared. People, so many of them. they were so real i thought at first that it was the townsfolk. But it wasn't they were dressed diffrently. And i somehow new them. I recognized them, I don't know how but it was like someone where in the back of my mind i knew them. each and everyone. I passed out soon after that. And woke up towards morning. I was back in my own bed. I had a very cold case of the shivers.

Well i've gone into hidding. Inside my home. The locals found out that i've been spending my nights in the gravyard nextdoor. and nosy as they are they've stucvk thier noses in too deep. Somehow they found out about my past. I've closed all the shades and have been forced to stay awake. These people. I moved here to find solice now i've found a new hell. I hope it blows over. These people are suspicious of me now. I may have pushed my luck too far.

This is strange. He came to me last night in a dream as i lay sleeping, i awoke i thought to see him sitting besides me. He wasn't dead in my dream he held onto me and said that he would never leave me. And i cried, i knew it wasn't real but i wanted it to be so bad. He told me not to be angry, not to hate them for what they had done. To continue to live the life he gave to me. I couldn't let go of him, i just sat there cradled in his arms the way i used to when he was still alive. He told me he loved me. That he wasn't upset, he was happy and had no regrets about giving his life for mine. But it hurt to know that he could be here with me. I dream't i fell asleep in his arms and when i awoke in the morning it realized that it was indeed a dream. But hanging from the doorknob what his Ankh with the ruby in the middle. He had been burried with it. all i could do was sit there and cry.

I'm so excited, Our annual Beltane festival is right around the corner. I'm giddy with anticipation! The colors....The smells....the happiness..... truely the goddess will shine down upon her sons and daughters on this festival. I have already been making my preparations though early. I will be ready to celebrate with my coven.

Мой русский язык не настолько хорош. Так, если я оскорбляю любого, я очень сожалею.

Я думал, что я буду пробовать сказать, что сометингс - русский язык. Из-за моих надежд на путешествие там когда-нибудь.



(English Version)



My russian is not so good. So if i offend anyone i'm very sorry. I'd thought i'd try to say somethings is Russian. Because of my hopes of traveling there someday.

La lengua española tiene en sí mismo otro encanto. Yo siempre encontraba la lengua a la indirecta de cosas prohibidas. Pero yo podría mirar sólo a muchas viejas películas blancas y negras. Yo siempre pensaba que la gente debería saber muchas lenguas para también, ser capaz de ser cómoda en cualquier ajuste.



(English Version)



The Spanish language has in itself another allure. I've always found the language to hint of forbidden things. But i might just be watching to many old black and white movies. I've always thought that people should know many languages so as too, be able to be comfortable in any setting.

Ah die Deutsche Sprache. Wirklich eine herrliche Sprache. Härter noch weicher als die englische Sprache. Jedoch immer eine bescheiden nette Form der Rede.

Ich schlage diese Einträge nicht an, um mit meinen Kenntnissen anderer Sprachen zu prahlen, aber sie dafür zu spielen, wenn ich reise. Ich werde schreiben müssen, deshalb, indem ich es anschlage, bin ich vom Üben fähig.



(English Version)



Ah the german language. Truely a wonderful language. Harsher yet softer than the english language. Yet still a modestly nice form of speech. I don't post these entries to boast of my knowledge of other languages but to practice them for when i travel. I will need to write, so by posting it i am able to practice.

J'ai pratiqué mon français. Et je me rends compte que la plupart de coutume de gens a une indication quant à que je dis. Mais j'avais cru que je renouvellerais ma connaissance d'autres langues. Et donc l'entrée suivante sera dans l'allemand et l'un après cela dans le russe et ensuite l'espagnol. Alors j'essaierai un italien.

J'aime la langue française. Son attrait romantique, met vraiment le feu à mes oreilles, avec le besoin de le parler. Thusly je parle la langue et espère apprendre beaucoup d'autres magnifiques langues aussi.



(English version)



I have been practicing my french. And i realize that most people wont have a clue as to what i am saying. But i'd thought that i'd renew my knowledge of other languages. And so the next entry will be in german, and the one after that in russian, and then spanish. Then i'll try some italian. I love the french language. Its romantic allure, truely sets my ears on fire, with the need to speak it. Thusly i speak the language and hope to learn many other wonderful languages as well.

Well, another day. I love coming here to the Rave where i can be free to socialize with those of my kindred spirit. True freedom is rare in a world of hippocrites and bigots. My Sire once told me. "Beware the Truth, for with truth comes the opitomy of hate." I understand his words now. It's strange how things stay with you, even after the person who said them is gone.

It's a shame what happened to him. He was so beautiful. I think that is how i will always see him, A lover of the night, truely one with them.

On the aniversery of His end, i cry tears of love. For him. He was taken in his prime, They say it was an accident but nothing is ever an accident.

Those people knew what he and i were. And he suffered for thier knowledge. Thusly i learned what he meant by "beware the truth" The cost however was not worth the knowledge.

Damn stupidity



Last night i went out as i usually do around midnight, since i sleep all day and am up at night. And i was visiting my favorite haunts. When this woman comes up to me and starts quoting th bible, telling me i'm going to hell and that i wll be raped by satan. I don't reply, but then she starts spraying me with "holy water"

and so on. trying to take my pentagram.



I grabbed my pentagram from her. and what does she do? she tries to light me on bloody fire.



"The only other way to be rid of a witch is to burn her."



What have we been sent back to the burning times? I escaped the moron soon after, and proceeded to follow her. and found her working a street corner later that night. Yeah and i'm the one with problems.

This isn't a rant or anything silly. I thought i'd tell more about myself.



My awakening was...how do i say this?

Strange. There was no forwarning to what happened to me. Nothing to tell me what my future held.



I woke up to the sun one morning and to the moon the next. I couldn't be out in the sun and my skin lost it's usually olive tan pigment.



My cainus teeth became pronounced. according to my dentist they can now be called "Fangs"

My senses have become stronger

This was my awakening. On morning i was a normal girl, and the next i was what i am now. I have no real term to what i am now.



"Vampire" some say. All i know is i am just me.