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but you always make me feel like i am the problem for bringing it up. every time i try to speak, it feels like i am walking on something that can break. i choose my words very carefully, afraid one wrong word will make you upset or uncomfortable. i try to stay calm. i try not to sound angry. i try not to sound sad. but no matter how softly i speak, it always feels like it is too much for you. it always turns into me being too sensitive, or me overthinking, or me making a big deal out of something small. and it makes me want to stay quiet and keep my feelings inside, because it feels safer than being told i am wrong for feeling what i feel. maybe one day you will notice why i stopped telling you things. maybe you will notice the way my voice no longer reaches for you, and how the space between us stopped asking to be filled. but by then, it won't matter anymore. because the truth is, people don't stop talking when they have nothing left to say. they stop when they realize no one was every really listening.

I am the villain for not being meek
for not falling into place
with the
long line of women before me.
silence meant survival
but I don't just want to exist,
I want to live.
I am the first to start the smoke
so that my daughters
can breathe fire.

You are a monsoon wrapped in the skin of girl the day your mother tells you how you must act in front of boys.
Girls like you must never look them in the eye.
Don't forget what happens when boys look in the direction of girls that carry the sky in their eyes and the world weighing down on their shoulders.

Girls who have seen great sadness very young look vulnerable like prey and some men are wolves. They will eat you alive. You are too hungry inside your own sadness, and when you love, you love with torrential rain - heavy and intense. You are too soft hearted and hard headed and she is afraid how many around you can see that as a weakness.

Some people will want to feed on the chaos that you call your soul, drain the good from it, leave the confusion for you to handle.

Those are the people you need to run from, but like a magnet those are the people that attract you the most. It's as if you are on the self destruct mode, unable to stop yourself from falling in love with damaged things, even wild ones that bare teeth to rip you apart when you grow closer to touch them.

The first time you have your heart broken, it is in the rain. You are so much like a big empty room full of forgotten things that were once loved too deeply, lit by the lighting of a thunderstorm. The thing is, he explains, girls like you should be loved completely or not at all, and the truth is, even when you are in pain, you don't hate him for this.

Actually, his leaving you also left you with the knowledge that you needed before loving him. To walk into that room, turn on the light, and love those things inside yourself before anyone else can love them.

The second time you have your heart broken, it is in the rain. This time you stand there, letting the water wash over you, and your tears. You are learning from the rain how she never cries or apologizes when she falls.

There will come a morning, when you are drinking tea and looking out the window at the rainfall, that you have been looking for the answers in the arms of people who want to treat you like you are the sun, but you are not.

You are a monsoon.

And you are finally beginning to realize that carrying the rain under under your skin, and the calm before the storm in your eyes is a blessing not a curse.

One night when you are watching a storm, you will understand what she and you have in common. You are both lonely creatures. The difference is that the storm loves her lonely so much that she lets it dance and sing as loudly as she wants, whereas you despise yours.

That is the day you learn to love your lonely.

That is the day you learn to love yourself.

Because you realize that you are the hurricane trapped in the body of a girl. And you don't need someone who can survive your storm.

You are simply in dire need of loving the hurricane, the thunder, the lightning... the dangerous beauty that makes you whole.

And when death finds me,
I hope it whispers
"Come now,
the fight is done,"
and takes my hand gently,
like an old friend
who understands
why I'm so tired.
I hope it says,
"You've carried enough,
let me hold this weight for you."
I hope it promises,
"Here there is quiet,
Here you can now rest."

The darkness in a woman is such that, stripped of our sight, we must feel our way through it - we crawl, we enter her circles of Hell until we sympathize with her sorrow, until we learn from her rage.

Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing right in front of you.

I want to sit up in bed, naked, eating a big bowl of cereal at 3 a.m. with you and talk about the universe...

is that so weird?

Dear girl with your thighs dripping in honey,
you are the moon incarnate.
Let yourself unfold like a rose;
perfume sweet and blackened as sin.

Naive boy, was I not what you expected?
Did you ride into this ruined empire, trying to save a damsel in distress?
A pretty little princess waiting for a knight on his noble steed?

Tsk, tsk

Oh naive boy I am a Queen.
A dragon draped in the finest jewels baring bloodstained teeth.
A ruthless savage hidden within the folds of a scarlet gown.
The very Queen who burned this empire down just because I could.

COMMENTS

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LordRazrDeMorte
02:54 Aug 12 2025

damn what a sucker

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Grab my hair like you grabbed my heart, forcefully with your fists.
Pull my hips closer to yours like the tides and teach me why the moon floods the beach at midnight.
Remind me how to breathe by making me breathless.
Don't
love me tenderly,
love me
recklessly.

I want you under me. on your back.

I'm sorry. You deserve more respect than that. But I can't stop thinking of it. Your arms and legs around me. Your mouth, open for my kisses. I need too much of you. A lifetime of nights spent cuddled between my thighs wouldn't be enough.

I want to talk to you forever. I remember every word you've ever said to me.

If only I could visit you as a foreigner goes into a new country, learn the language of You, wander past all borders into every private and secret place; I would stay forever. I would become a citizen of You.

in loving me you hold a knife at my throat

in loving you i tell you exactly where to cut

carnivorous and lusting to track you down among the pines
i want you stuffed into my mouth
holding you down and tear you apart
live inside you
love...
i'd never hurt you
but i'll grind against your bones until our marrows mix
i will eat you slowly...