The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I have come to a few terms, realizing a few things today.



TO DO LIST:

(1)get a job

(2)pay off foster-grandmother

(3)pay off library fees

(4)pay off publishing fee

(5)develope telepathy better

(6)master astral projection

(7)speak more than five sentances to ppl I live with

(8)work out more

(9)cut off claws

(10)go down to Chris's or Jeremy's for a brief visit once a month at most.



Today is the first time in about a year or two that I have watched music videos. The first one was Shakira's Hips Don't Lie. The way she moved her body reminded me of the night I went to a families house after the meeting and took a lesson in Salsa dancing. I was a quick study and loved it. Only there's a big difference in her video from what I learned. It was belly dancing and she can MOVE!



I sit at the computer at least every day to write my story or check a few things on MySpace or on here. I've come to terms that I have regected the world outside. Defiance has not seen my face (that they know of) in two months due to the fact that I don't want to be around anyone in particular. I have no need for trouble and it became boring. The same people. The same habit. You hang out at the mall on Friday and Saturday and then you go to Tom's Donuts where we're served gallons of coffee and empty our ash trays about eight times in an hour per table.



I've read four novels in the past five months and re-reading one of them. I need something different.



My urge to just start walking around and getting lost sounds good to me. I just want to get up and go. No relying on anyone else. Just me. I've made countless plans to walk to Defiance for job hunting, to go to the library, to just be there and look at people around me. My life has come to an unholy burst of a halt. Why can't I seem to perfect the things I do? As if reviewing other books wasn't the only way I can escape my personal and physical world.



Anything is better than watching forgien films and Japanese music videos.



I need $800 to publish my book Stitches Of An Old Scratch. Let me explain the title. Stitch-in other terms-is a very sharp and painful blow. And Old Scratch-is one of hundreds or more names used to describe the physical worlds Devil. The story is about the battle that has been occuring from both sides of the field of Wicca & Witchcraft and the Cristian world. We all understand that no one will buy either side if they have to die. Some will hang on to not believing into anything until one side has one and claim they had thier back the whole time. Both worlds are having a hard time in surviving the living world. What happened was that the Christians had a prophesy that wove into the Wiccan side as well. Odd or just irrational? I don't know. But they predicted the lives of an innocent man's phiseek and copied him four times; thus creating the four elements of Air, Water, Earth, and Fire. The origonal is what is depicted as the Soul. Therefore, you have all five elements of the star. (well what happened to the 7 sins?) The seven sins happen to be the children though they are not labeled. The carbon copy takes the girls to the land and universe of the Wiccan planet where Christianity has come to dominate with force, starting in taking out each element. The goal of the Queen's "end match" aka (Yen) is to try to protect her by taking her place while she is on Earth, giving her soul to a mortal and hiding in a nunnery. The mortal children that are left are the few girls. And one of the sweetest of the immortal women have taken a fall when they entered the longing lives of a copy man. The least mentioned immortal sister is a soul from the devil that acted upon the Christian priests desperation (possing as the will of God) and took a babies skeleton sprinkled with Adam and Eve's bone dust to work against the family she was "born" to. In order to survive the world they were taken from in the past, they must save the future and the past before them.



Great story, huh? It was great for me while I started writing it last summer. I had up to chapter 10 written and working on Chapter 11. Eleven's been on hold for almost a year now. Author house has been waiting for my manuscript for about a year while the other book Dove Wings has been finished for about a year. I'm lost. There's more than one story I'm working on; five actually. I'm normally not into the idea of angels, though I'm fasinated with the operationa and design of wings. So here I am looking like a fool only to myself and the world around me thinks I'm doing so many neat things. I couldn't even finish my GED-which is rediculous since I ACED THE PRACTICE EXCEPT FOR MATH. (they made me take it twice because they thought I cheeted.)

I feel as though my heart is breaking