Lately i've been researching a bunch of stuff for my book The Other Stars pertaining for each charactor. For one charactor, it is the writing(which is the runes) and the language (which goes along with Swedish, old Germanic, and so on) they spoke a lot of different languages. I went as far as to research the chivalry they had in the many forms. There's at least 25 different forms of it and 6 at least in a minimum on love or courting of love. It's stressful a bit, but i want my charactor right, so that I don't get crap when I get it published. I went as far as making notes. One notebook is smothered in pen, highlighter marks, sticky notes, and webs for things. Very scarey to realize it's such a big change from how things went after Columbus hit America which the Norse landed there 500 yrs before he made it there with the pilgrums. What else can I do right now? I'm booked with this and it's taking time away from Kaileen and Seth, whcih isn't fair, but i need this now! The charactor is in it's introduction already...
I was at a bar in last nights dream and everything was black and grey. there was a bar and the bartending section was on the right hand side when you walk in the door. Across the hall of the place, you can go up a set of stairs which i did. And then when you're up there, you can see a vast village of gloom. The wind blew and the sky groaned. There were no walls. Floor of large stone and a few breaking pillars.
Shots rang out in the waves of the rain that fell all around. Justin and I stood in a driveway with multipule people that held handguns. We were trying to survive by running, but they ones we were with got shot down. eventualy, Justin got shot down as well. (((strange part of the whole dream is that the only colors that showed up were red and deep blue))) I rolled underniethe a car. I grabbed a nearby gun after i thought one of the remaining guys was left standing around the bodies and peaked around the back left tire in the driveway. He saw me and shot back. The first one missed and the second one went in the door. He got angry and threw a fit so i took this opertunity to just shimmy out a bit and shot at him twice. The first one went in his shoulder and the other one was in his face. He fell dead.
I can't watch SAW2 anymore again. saw it once and that was fine. Watched it again and i just about threw up. My hands were shaking and my stumach clutched. I think I'm losing it or maybe i've had time to relax and think about my life and the things that happened in the past decade. I'm not so busy at all anymore like i was when i was in NY and now i'm haveing nightmares 3 times a night or whatever and i dread going to sleep with tears in my eyes.
Memories, sharp as daggers
Pierce into the flesh of today
Suicide of love took away all that matters
And buried the remains in an unmarked grave in your heart
With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
Oh, I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness
Nailed to the cross, together
As solitude begs us to stay
Disappear in the lie forever
And denounce the power of death over our souls and secret words are said to start a war
With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me,
I'm killing loneliness with you
I'm killing loneliness that turned my heart into a tomb
I'm killing loneliness
Killing loneliness
With the venomous kiss you gave me
I'm killing loneliness (Killing loneliness)
With the warmth of your arms you saved me
this is so Erin and Brandon
Returning home was much needed. While I was away, some things have changed. for instance, I am going to be moving to Defiance soon and my best friend got a girlfriend(which is wonderful news and i'm eager to meet her) and more ppl missed me than i thought. But it's great to be home finally!! I missed everyone so much.
I thought I was going to be stranded in New York forever at the rate I was going. I ened up from January 11th to March 1st up there. Was aftraid my family was going to keep me forever.
While I was there and taking care of my family and bonding and all that crap, I was a housekeeper for my aunt Renee; which I really didn't mind at all and she paid me at the end of the week for my work. The whole time, I was trying to get through to her daughter, Shaylah, about her conduct within the household and outside in the world around her. She was becoming two different people and it was way too obvious to pass up the opertunity to do something about it. So what I did was have little talks to her on the side until one night I had to sit her down at the dinner table alone before I left, to actually get it into her thick 12 yr old skull that no one, especially her mother, appreciated being disrespected and it was high time she changed her pissy attitude around or there were going to be consiquences.
There was to be no more:
1 rolling her eyes at anything that made her do the slightest work that interupted her time in the bathroom to make sure she looked alright.
2 The mirror can be a decoration and not to make sure she was all in place and she knew just how cute she was or it will come off the wall
3 A slob is no more. She would start picking up after herself and no longer leaving dishes in the livingroom as if it were a diner and she was the guest.
4 Never tell her mother she doesn't love her when she doesn't mean it. A person has feelings and just because you are pissed off at them or at the world for getting on your nerves does not make them emotionless.
5 If you get a quick temper like your grandfather, take a deep breath and count slowly from ten and let it out through the nose slowly. A boogery face is disgusting.
6 No more hitting and jabbing at your brothers just because you are a girl. If they hit you back and you cry about a bruise, it's your fault and no one's going to believe the story you just told for them defending themself.
7 Quit being bitchy about when you don't get your way. YOUR 12 NOT 40 SO DEAL WITH IT. When you move out of your mothers home, you may do what you wish. until then, you have your extreme boundrys!
8 You dominate the livingroom, do it yourself when it comes to cleaning it. VACUME EVERY DAY BECAUE OF THE BIRDS.
9 It's your cat, you take care of it. How would you feel if mom didn't feel like feeding you every day.
10 Don't be nice to people just because you want something. Otherwise, you'll get the back of mom's hand or consiquences of mine.
and so on. By the end of that one night, she got the point. And everything went so smooth that her mother called me as soon as she got ready for bed to tell me how well behaved her daughter is and how much she appreciated it. The shocker came to me when she admited to her mother all about the talk and not holding anything back- including that she was afraid of what the consiquences might be.
Been doing a lot of winter driving, which is a blast, no matter what anyone says. I love driving in the winter. Saw the place my brother put my mothers car sideways and listened to my mothers tale of it all. Had so much fun with my mother especially. I am going to miss her since it'll be another few years before i see her again.
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