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Leaving for the UK in a few months .

Leaving everything behind (1 friend , family and computer probably) for a life of work .

Better pay then I'd get here , doing anything , though .



Then there's my other trip .

I've got a decent amount of E in me , some Sprite and happy hardcore , and I'm all set .

... to do what ?

Nobody will come out at 3:20 AM . *sigh*

What the hell does St. Patrick's day have to do with green items and clovers ?

And why is hi5.com wishing me a happy one , anyway ?

That's almost as weak as VDay . I have no reason at all to celebrate it . And for some reason there are pink hearts and obese cherubs with ranged weapons everywhere .

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RainWitch
01:45 Mar 18 2010

It's just another day, true. Holidays are only as important as people make them out to be for themselves.

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How could someone be undecided ?

What kind of epic brainstorming goes on in the mind of one who can't arrive at a decision ?

It's easy . You've got consequences . Everything you do , has consequences . There's good ones , there's bad ones , and there's ones you don't care about .

Just make a quick list of all of them , maybe highlighting a few in your head , and pick the one with the best risk to reward ratio .

Or , if you just want to do something that would probably have little to no consequences , just go ahead and do it .

Don't stand there like a fucking turnip , waiting for others to decide for you .

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SheWolf85
13:32 Mar 10 2010

why a turnip?

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HHG
15:24 Mar 10 2010

Why not ? :)

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Reality..ty..ty..(echo)

Why do people bother ? Why do they wake up in the morning ? Why do I ?

I don't know about the first 2 , but here's my reason . Life is like a video game . I may only have one life but I don't care , I'll spend it as I deem fit . Basically trying to enjoy it , to experience all sorts of things .

Basic things . Stealing an apple in Oslo feels the same as stealing one from the store across the street . Carving pretty lines into my leg , and rubbing them with salt feels bad , but it's better then nothing . It keeps me focused . Having a foreign object shoved up my anus is not fun . Won't try that again [so , I was like , 12 , bite me]



Come to think of it , I sound like a sensate (see Planescape: Torment)



[[ ("Sensates"), who believe that accumulating experiential knowledge through the senses is the only way to achieve enlightenment. ]]



I think one should experience all , from pain , to pleasure , to nothingness . Personally , I find pleasure a bit hard to obtain .



Ah , what I wouldn't give for that Lemarchand's_box , the one from the Hellraiser series .



Although , eternity is a long time , it would deny me the opportunity to go through pleasure .



Oh well . Have to specialize in something .

I've just noticed there are 12 people who either think my thoughts are interesting , or get bonus points on google.com for fav'ing my journal .



Who are you ?

Rather then lurking , you could feast on my endless supply of wisdom and knowledge first hand :]



Hit me up .

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Sinora
10:58 Mar 03 2010

The third option would of course be to mock you....just sayin *ebil grin*

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I'm about to spill it . Enjoy .

Programmers . As long as your software serves any purpose , be it a game or some accounting program , it WILL be cracked , and it will be shared on bittorrent . There's no point in trying to prevent it , the best you can do is ask for a donation .



There , I've said it .



I hate everyone . I lie through my teeth , I try to act normal , but it's all one big facade . It's not apathy . I'm disgusted with all of you . Even you , reader . Personally . I hate your person .



If it was up to me , this planet's population would suddenly drop to 15 . A desirable female for each month , a slave , a generally 'smart' person , and myself .



You may be disregarding this as some infantile display of angst and/or rebellion , or you may be wondering what could possibly have shaken my world enough to bring forth this hatred for humanity .



For the latter : nothing . I just do . Maybe I didn't get enough love growing up , maybe I didn't get that to I wanted , maybe life is just too boring .

Maybe I trusted people too much , maybe I still do . And you probably know what blind trust leads to .



Maybe I saw life for what it is , an unfair game , a painful one , perhaps one that isn't even worth playing .



Ah , suicide . All for it . If you feel like blowing your head off , and there's nobody to care enough to smack some sense into you (with love, of course) , be my guest . I'd do the same . Blow my head off , that is .



You can only assume , believe (blindly) there's an afterlife . And if there is , different cultures describe it differently (if not , you're worm food , just as well) , to assume your culture , your religion is the "right" one , is a bit arrogant , I'd say .



That's it , for now .

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xxEmaeraldxx
23:02 Mar 16 2010

If you do blow your head off....make sure the slave is a male, otherwise what would all us females do heh!

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Old wounds are open again .

And just in time , I'm sick .

Just a cold .

Maybe the combined stress of past betrayal and physical distress will be enough to make me snap .

Don't know if I really want that , though .

I've been commited . It's not all that fun .



oh lordy,

trouble so hard

oh lordy,

trouble so hard,

don't nobody knows my troubles but God

don't nobody knows my troubles but God...



(moby-natural blues)

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SheWolf85
14:24 Mar 06 2010

cool shtuff..

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