The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

young man driven

mad with strife

slashed his wrists

with a hunting knife

to put an end

to a pointless life

it's just another life lived in vain

sorrow and pain,still nothing gained

it's just another life gone to waste

death is such a lonely place

young womans next in line

as the reapers prey

popping pills just to

face the day

untill an o.d.

took her blues away

looking back at all those wasted years

living on a lie

in the end it became so clear

they were born to die

you cant accept the gift of life

so you're killing yourself everyday

and though you may not use a gun

your in for the permanent solution

COLD METAL BARS BLOCK OUT THE SUN

SOFT WHITE PADS COVER THE WALLS,

DOCTORS IN WHITE COATS

TAKE NOTES

DOWN THE HALLS

WATCHING ME,

MY EVERY MOVE,

DARING ME TO TRY,

IN MY STRAITJACKET

THAT OTHERS CALL MY LIFE.

NOTHING TO DO ALL DAY

EXCEPT SIT HERE AND STARE,

MY HANDS AREN'T FREE

TO RUN THROUGH MY BLACK HAIR.

AS I DRIFT AWAY FROM THE SANE,

I LOOK HARD ENOUGH,

I CAN SEE THEM LOOKING PAST.

PAST MY EYES,

PAST MY MIND,

LOOKING PAST MY SOUL,

THEY WOULD LOOK PAST MY HEART TOO,

IF IT WEREN'T A BLACK HOLE.

BROKEN SO MANY TIMES,

SO THIS IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE.

MY LIFE,

MY ASYLUM.....

IN THE RED,WHITE,AND BLUE NATION,

REBELS ARE SILENTLY HUSHED AWAY,

GOVERMENT CONTROLLING DECISIONS,

LEADING TO THIS COUNTRYS DECAY,

BROKEN MORTALS WHAT WE STAND UPON,

WHAT CORPORATE AMERICA DRAINS,

INJUSTICE FALLING IN DAGGERS,

CUTTING TO THE VEINS,

ANGER AND HATE ARE RISING,

WE ARE GOING TO STAND UP AND FIGHT,

TO THE FLAG THAT DOESN'T MEAN MUCH NOW,

SINICE IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING RIGHT.

SO I WONT PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THIS PLACE,

THAT FORCES PEOPLE DOWN,

LIBERTY DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE,

AND EQUALITY WONT BE FOUND!

why did your views change of me?

is it because i wasnt what you expected me to be?

was it because i wasnt some perfect girl

in some perfect world, doing what perfect girls should do?

is that why i meant so little to you?

im sorry but i cant change my past

if i could i would

i knew you would never last

why did i believe your love should?

i was a fling

a puppet on a lonely string

hanging by the neck awaiting sweet despair

what you put me through was more then i could bare

you lead me on and you ruined my soul

how could i lose so much damn control

over the actions of your vengeful heart

the pain does hurt, but its only a start

i was only a fool

when i thought

my love would belong to you

and how could you be

so damn insecure to me

yet expect us to be friends

when you know damn well this will be the end



now when i see you

i brake apart inside

i try to find a place in my heart

to run and hide

i knew you never liked me

why did you act like you had to?

just keep walking on and dont look back

i dont care anymore about how you feel

the pain i endured was just to real

all the hurt you pinned on me

will scar me for all eternity

no matter what i do

no matter what i say

nothing will make you love me

like you did yesterday



so im sorry i wasn't everything you wanted

and im sorry i let you down

i know it by the way you look at me

how that smile turns to a strifeful frown

i remember your kisses

they burned my flesh

a pain so sweet and fresh

all those "i love yous" were lies

a disguise to hide

how you really felt inside :(

The lights go out, I come alive

Increasing heartbeat makes me thrive

A timid rascal in the room

If I come out he'd surely swoon



I come alone, I'm here all night

I feed on fear, I dine on fright

You timid rascal in the room

Your corner bedroom I do loom



A crack of light that's in the door

I sneak around on darkened floor

That timid rascal in the bed

I'm right above your covered head



The crickets creek, the windows draft

My disposition is my craft

You timid rascal in the sheets

I keep you covered; my defeats....



...of soothing mother in next room

You wish you might just slumber soon

But little rascals pending doom

Is my objection, my air loom



I am a monster strong of mind

Emotion craving is my kind

I want the rascal in that bed

To pay me heed not sleep instead



My clownlike face is broken, bruised

a foul confection on my shoes

My hair is soiled, my clothes too tight

Inside my costume is a sight....



....of turmoiled faces I have seen

and once did see me so they screamed

While trapped forever in my being

That rascal's sure to know what seeing...



....and believing share tonight

A strange horrific clownlike sight

to rustle strangely near his bed

He'll lie awake just like I said



But both his eyes stay shut right now

I wait each night for when, where how

I'll get that rascal while he sleeps

I'll wake him with my scary feats



And low behold when I am done

He'll pass me right on to his son

Then soothing father coming soon

will all forget whats in the room

Silently I stare at you

You don't know I'm around

I know where you've been

I know where you are bound

I know where you live

I know where you sleep

You don't even know me

But my love for you runs deep

I see you in my dreams

I want me in your's too

I want you to know and love me

But there is no way to tell you

This is how it's going to be

It will, and has never changed

I'll continue to be your stalker

Don't think that I'm deranged

I love you but you'll never know

Cuz I'm your silent stalker

I'll continue watching you; well,

Until I kill and find another...

Your life is futile

Can't you see?

So join a cult

And follow me

Sell your soul

Jump right in

Close your eyes

Embrace your sin

Feel it squeezing

Your body tight

Let it take over

You know you can't fight

Into your heart

Burning it cold

Now be a good zombie

And do what you're told

in the twillght of your dreaming mind

my love for you is screaming blind

a thousand bodies cringe and shiver

at a message no one will deliver

so listen to me and hear the whispers

of the empty wombs in babysisters

before i unlock myself with skeleton keys

get out of the gutter between my knees

im through with this disguesting mess

i no longer know who wears the dress

i wish to forget you and your sex

and go on with my life devoid of this hex

in the twillght of your dreaming mind

theres a pleasure we must find

that will help us understand each other

without the need for a physical lover

so i can touch you with a summer breeze

instead of the gutter between my knees

(squashed between pillows)



a dream sighs,listening inside it's bones

to the toothless caravan dragging itself along

the empty roads-

like a breath in the snow

P L E A S E-----------

kill all the white noise

so i can hear myself cry-

like ice cream melting under the skin of the world-

a splinter tear-thorn in my side

A C U P U N C T U R E S A L V A T I O N

a syringe for the earth-extracting milk

freebasing the knowledge that is given

-that is force upon me-that is injected into all children by

paperdoll school teachers

"and we will recycle everything..."

"and the rain forest is a rumor..."

"and if life hurts take a pill..."

just make sure you dont take the whole damn bottle,

mortal abortion is illegal

so walk away-

or jump in with the spoon.

street light soaked,soul so bright

hair on fire,black as night

in your eyes a little girl shivers

in your hands my heart withers

you dress youself in superstition

holding my attention with a wordless leash

all my strengh is out of reach

you are a mystery i want to unravel

in your eyes i can travel

to the deepest deaths of thee

in an ocean of amber around me

a sideways glance,a long lost chance

a little twist of the truth

has forever stole my youth

when i try to explain,all the laughter,all the pain

you smile and nod and look away

never asking me to stay.

but if you kissed me,my lips would bleed

for a hunger i must feed

is it so hard to understand

why i only want to hold your hand!

i loved you more than i loved myself

a love that was more than love

so now i stand over you

smearing the blood off my face with a white glove



how could you do this?

i thought you loved me you see?

where the last couple words

you ever said to me



as i strangled you and pulled you close

sobbing a painful sob

moving your sinful body closer

so i can lock the doorknob



just in case some nosey neighbor

decided to play god

and try to be a hero

for which indeed deserves an applaud



but im in no cheery mood

that is how i am today

rather than a giddy applause

i would surely make them pay



not with money, nor plea of any sorts

but with a knife

plunged deep into their heart

as they struggled for their life

hey, that would be a nice start



then followed through with a cut of the throat

and a gouge of the eyes

and while we are at it

lets cut the tongue from making lies



and let us match my old lover

with a suit made out of razorblade cuts

from head to toe

as we pull out the guts



and tie them around his neck

he is starting to look like a sexy guy

tie his intestines in a bunch

like a beautiful neck tie



i love you so much

why cant you see?

that this angry was from

you to me

im only reacting to a action

which was forced onto me



you promised me forever

you said you wanted to be a friend

how could you say this

when its clearly the end



but instead of walking away

or seeing you smile ever again

i would rather see you dead

so my pain wont be in vain



i could forget about you

and about everything we went through

but putting you through suffering

seems a tad bit more fun



so enough with the chit-chat

its getting quite late

so close your eyes and make a wish

that they let you through the gate

to the otherside

where its cold and alone

kind of like the time

you told me over the phone



"honey i still love you

honey please dont cry..

i just dont think that i honestly

am that right guy...

i cant wait anymore

i need something right here, right now

your so perfect and everything i wanted

but i just dont think i can keep that vow

i cant promise you forever anymore

your just not for me

but can we still be friends?

i would still love that, you see?"



yes i heard you right

loud and clear to be exact

what was i supposed to say?

how was i supposed to react?



i was speechless and confused

it hurt more than you'll ever know

so the best i can give you

is what i can show



and that is by ripping you apart

limb by bloody limb

no one can ever understand my pain

it fills my cup to the brim



so now i look over to you

your body laying in a pool of blood dazzling in the sun

i smile a evil smile, at a job well done

I picture your face

and I know it's true

another minute flew by

just thinking of you

I sit here and I wonder

I dream and I daze

people all around me

try to follow my gaze

smiling and grinning

wondering too

how many minutes flew by

just thinking of you

I close my eyes

and what do I see

your cute little face

staring back at me

I am always happy

dreaming about you

I could sit here for hours

just thinking of you

"When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.



I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.



I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick the flowers in other peoples' gardens

And learn to spit.



You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickles for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.



But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.



But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple." - by Jenny Joseph

I Cry For The Time That You Were Almost Mine,

I Cry For The Memories I've left Behind,



I Cry For The Pain,

The Lost, The Old, The New,

I Cry For The Times I Thought I had You...



I Hide My Tears When I Say Your Name

But The Pain In My Heart Is Still The Same



Although I Smile and Seem Care free

But There Is No One In The World Who Misses You More Than Me !

If I'd Not Known His Eyes

Perhaps The Day Would Be

Easier To Understand

Gentler To Me

If I Hadn't Memorized

The Sounds He Makes

While Close To Me

I Might Have Filled My Memory Up

With August Skies Or July Sea

But As It Is My Memory World

Has Little Room For Skies,

All Space Is Taken Up

Remembering His Eyes!!! :'(

My Love For You Starts To Slowly Fade

I Can Hear You Scream My Name,

Its Like A Moonlight serenade

I'm Tired Of Wishing I could Be

What You Always Wanted Me To Be

I Can't Change Who I Am; There's Nothing I Can Do

I Wish You Could Have Loved Me For Me,

Because I Loved You For You!

I'm Going To Sit Here And Shed This Skin

In False Circumstance, I'm Just A Useless Mannequin

Day After Day, I Take In All This Pain

Its A Lie When They Say You Get Something To Gain

I'm Sitting Here Alone, Gained Nothing New

Just A Sad Smile And A Broken Heart

Handcrafted And Designed By You!

I Think Its Weird How One Person Can Change Your Whole Outlook On Life

And How You Want To Rip Our Your Heart With A Rusty Kitchen Knife

While Watching The Blood Pour Down The Empty Wound

Life, You Once Thought, Had A Meaning To Remain

Is A Dark Road Marked "One Way Lane"

To That One Place You Know All To Well...

An Endless Existence

In Your Man-made Hell!

What Good Is A Life If We Die In The End?

What Good Is A Lover if First Not A Friend?

We Are Born Alone

And We Die Just The Same

Why Should We Indulge In Happiness,

When Its Followed With Pain??

Loneliness And Anger Are Two Forces In My Life

Along With Pain, Suffering, Hatred And Strife.

How Can I Remain Happy And Not Regret

The Fact You Never Loved Me

I Was Your Mere Pet

Why Did I Ever Want To Even Try

How Could You Say You Loved Me, When You Know Thats A Lie

You Promised It Wouldn't Hurt

But It Burns Like Hell

So Just Throw Me The Bouquet

While I Bleed Behind This Veil...

Heaven Weeps From The Sins We Create

While The Golden Gates Begin To Close

I Will Remain Here On Earth With You

To Face This Eternal Fate

No One Needs To Know

For The Mistakes We Have Made

Are Ours Alone...

Even If Our Very Existence Starts To Slowly Fade

Just Like A Long Distance Voice Over The Telephone

If Heaven Decides To Let You In

Dont Look Back For Me

For I Have Sinned...

But Do Understand

No One Else Will Ever Hold My Hand

Because I Will Wait For You In Agony

While I'm Tormented In Fear

The Waiting Is The Worst Part

For No One Is Near

Like A Stake Through My Heart

With Each Sob Comes A Tear...

You Are Flawlessly Beautiful And Delicate

A Mirrored Reflection Of My Mistakes and Sins

The Sky Was Black Just Like Your Heart

Something I Tried So Hard To Get In.

You And Me Would Be The Two Perfect Ingredients

For Personal Misery

Bloody Kisses And Death Wishes

Little Scraps Of Paper Written With Ink

The Taste Of Your Blood Is Delicious

While My Teeth Start To Sink

You Are My Heart Broken Silhouette

Yet A Thorn In My Side

Why Is It So Hard To Love Me Back?

Why Must You Wear A Mask To Try To Hide??

In The Crimson Rain

Truth Is Revealed

And Every Wound You Gave To Me

Slowly Starts To Become Healed

Your Pretty Girl Is Gone

Little Miss Hannah Is Dead

In Her Place A Monster Grew

The Night She Cried In bed

If You Listen Quietly

You Can Still Hear Her Scream Your Name

But You Will Never Reach Her, No One Can

Since Hannah Is No Longer The Same

I Had To Kill That Useless Child

Put An End To The Trusting Mutt

I Threw Her In A Closet

And Locked It Shut

So Say Goodbye, Since You Never Got To Before

and All Those "I Love You's" Was More Like A Chore

Bloody Kisses And Death Wishes

Is All You Have Left Of Me

The Smell Of You Germinates In My Skin

Just Like An Unholy Sin

I Knock At Your Door

But I Have Done So Before

But You Will Never Let Me In...

"GO AWAY, NO ONE CARES FOR YOU!!!"

Thats what they say

Thats What They Do

Why Do They Hate Me So?

And They Wonder Why My

Self-Esteem's Real Low

And They Wonder Why I Take 3 Pills A Day

And All They Can Say

Is "GO AWAY!"

What ever Happend To Saying "Hi"

Or Even "Sup"

I Wouldn't Care If The Were To Lie

But They Dont Care To Even Try

So For Now I Must Say

FUCK OFF....And Have A Nice Day! :) haha

I Hate You

I Seriously Do

I Hate You More Than Words Can Say

I Wish The Pain Would Go Away

From All The Depressing Images You Show Me

Why Can't I Just Be

But Hell, I'll Take You Anyway

I'll Probably Be Okay

But To Tell You The Truth

I Think You Should Know

I Don't Really Hate You

I Love You Lexapro!! ;D

((just in case you dont get it, Its a love poem for my medication for depression! XD haha))

Paint Me A Candleflame

Warm Bodies In The Rain

Soft Mattresses To Stain

With 31 Flavors Of The Brain

Lying On The Drugstore Floor

This Is My Game, I'm Only Wanting More

Some Say Your's Is Just The Same

Behind The Unmarked Door

I Came, I Saw

Your Dirty Little War!

"Close Your Eyes..."

I Trace The Face Of Your Hidden Grace

Feeling The Lips That Own My Words

Breathing Peaceful Sighs

So Sweet A Sound It Hurts

"You're So Quiet..."

Reaching Inside My Mouth

The Taste Of Silver And Pearl

Smiles In The Dwindling Light

I Can't See You In The Dark

I Can't Feel You At Night

"Again..."

Holding You With Gloves

Not Knowing How It Feels

To Touch My Deepest Love

"I Dont Feel Anything..."

Inside

It's Warm, Where The Words Are Born

A Kiss In Vain

To Feel The Pain

You Cry

"I Want You..."

I Want You Forever

So That I Can Feel

Something Close To Me

To Dip Into This Well

Forever Inside The Lies

I Lay

Listening To You Breathe For Hours

The Song That Never Dies

"The Beauty Isn't Lost..."

It's Just Deeper Than We Know

In The Taste Of Silver And Pearl

Is A Kiss Of Truth I Feel

Whatever It Will Cost

Won't Be Enough To Sew

The Wound You've Given Me This Time

And I Love You

Not In Vain

But With All That I Have Left

I Love The Way You Wept

When I Kissed You Through The Pain

But I Dont Want To Die

So Give Me Your Last Sigh

"Dont Say Anything..."

You'll Cry

Please, Dont Say Goodbye!!!

Lets Look Away

Feel Our Eyes Close

Watch The World, A Broken Neon Sign

Slither Out Of Sight

Into The Corners Of Our Mind

It's Just A Passing Glance

The Warm Rain Seems To Find

You In A Smile

Within The Depths Of My Mind

Lets Turn Our Backs To The Windows

Hear The Shoppers Sigh

Hope That They Can Be Us

On The Other Side

So They Could Feel Like Us Inside

The Mind Of The Painter

For Just A Little While...

"Excuse me sweetie, these roses are for you",

Her mother said while she was laying them on the kitchen table.

"Please mom, put them on that table in the corner there,

I will get back to them later."

In fact she never took the time,

To open the cards and see what was inside.



As days went by, piles of roses were laying all around the kitchen floor

where that table, by the corner sat.

She could not recall, how many times she cried,

Nor how many bruises she earned,

While she was laying helpless on the ground.

Those days are gone,

She has turned the page,

She will not look back again.



She was a young girl in time,

With dreams of fairytale life.

She took a chance and handed her life to a man,

He took that chance and shattered all of her dreams

With a smile on his face,

Holding a fist in one hand and a rose in the opposite.