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Something's off... I can't put my finger on it, but there's some sort of strange energy... I can't figure it out... It doesn't feel like anything's wrong, it just feels like...



Strange...

Okay, I was looking over some profiles, right? Rating, looking at content. And I saw something. A lot of people can't spell properly.



I mean, what the hell, people? Try putting some time and effort into your profile, maybe bother to check your spelling. And please, for the love of the gods, please do not use "i" when you should be using "I". And there is a difference between "your" and "you're". And it is NOT spelled "ur" either.



And if they're going to complain about the rate I gave them, let them. They want to say I don't respect them, well maybe they should go back to grade school and learn how to fucking spell.



It's not rocket science people! It's fucking English! You wouldn't turn in your semester project in science or something, with the written part reading. "i haf notised that the grren darner dragonfli is comon in much of suthern californya and the gr8 valley". Would you? WOULD YOU FUCKING WRITE LIKE THAT IN SCHOOL? NO? And why? Because people would laugh at you, because teachers would give you bad grades, and you would have little if no respect from your peers. And you NEED those skills to get a good job and take care of yourself.



And let me guess, they're going to say "your too fuckin uptite its juz the web relax". YOU ARE TALKING LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT! WHY DON'T YOU SEE THAT!



WHAT THE FUCK?!?!



Ohh.... I need to take some deep breaths...

COMMENTS

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immortalxkiss
16:43 Jan 31 2008

Actually, I DID know some people who wrote like that in high school,as seniors no less. It's a sad sad world, when our youth can't differentiate between chat speak and normal English.

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POST COMMENT

Hm. Strange how things can just suddenly change so quickly.



There's someone I wish I could talk to. I hope I can talk to them soon...

So life is very strange and erratic right now. Here's a little video, which I think is something like where my life is now.



http://youtube.com/watch?v=vRPpAK_b8oA



Oh, and turn down the volume on your computers a bit. This video is rather loud.

So, I was just thinking about things today.



I miss one of my friends. Lately it feels like they've been distancing themselves from me, or pushing me away. When I talk to them, it's like they're wearing a mask and they're not being open with me, even though I am open with them. It feels like they're resenting me. I remember when we were first friends we were so open and honest, but now... it's like they're someone different... I miss my friend...



And also, I realized that I am still in love with someone. I can't stop being so sensitive, it's in my nature. I'm like a pup, even though someone's hurt me, I will still go back to them because I love them. I still love that person, and I wish they would just talk to me. I love them. I love them so much, and miss them equally.



I just wish they would be open with me...

I am honestly quite happy with my life right now. I'm happy with the way things are going, how things are turning out. There's some drama here and there, but that's how life is.



I just wanted to say that I'm happy and feeling great.

Amazing, just amazing. Who knew someone else could feed through a medium, and so well!



My, my, my my my. This certainly is... fun. It's nice to find someone you have things in common with, hyeh heh. :D

I was talking to one of my friends, nothing out of the ordinary... but then... something attacked me... something very powerful. I felt a strange, sort of tensing sensation and felt energy leaving gradually.



Something is trying to feed off me. Possibly a pyschic vampyre/ empath, which would explain distance feeding.



I just hope I can beat this thing...

Hm... none of my friends are on... An image of an arid desert at night comes to mind, and a tumbleweed rolls on its path to nowhere as the Moon shines down upon Mother Earth. The owls have left their nests, simple holes in cacti, and are hunting small rodents and animals and the like. And the tumbleweed keeps rolling to a destination unknown....



.

..

...

Jeez... my emotions and thought patterns really are erratic. I'm like the posterchild for fire sign people or something, or at least Saggitaurius.



My... I even wierd myself out. I'm quite a guy, aren't I?

Why the hell do I keep panicking whenever I anger someone or make someone upset? I try to take back what I said and try to tell them I'm sorry. And then I usually screw that up, too.



Why the fuck do I keep doing this? Why am I so fixated on trying to have people like me and not be upset with me? Why the hell am I so childish?



Ugh... I hate myself when I get like this.

So it appears that I journal I wrote, then deleted, upset someone.



First of all, it was what I felt at the time. Thought patterns change throughout the day, as do moods.



That journal was not meant to offend anyone, and if it did, then I apologize. Whether or not you want to accept that apology is up to you.

Okay, this is sort of a rant journal, but if you don't like it, well, it's my fucking journal. Meaning I can rant if I want.



Anyways, I was going over some profiles, and... they were just way too vague. I mean, some provided very little information, some none at all. I mean, if you're going to have a user on this site, say something about yourself, other than just "I'm female. I'm 27. I like bondage" or some lame crap lilke that. Give a little more insight on yourself. Maybe tell what you like, what you dislike, what you like to do, what makes you happy.



I mean, I know some people aren't as open as others, but if you're just going to make your profile fucking vague and not say anything, then you deserve the low rating that I give you.



You want a higher rating? Then maybe you should do something with your profile, other than just putting up some pictures and a pretty wallpaper! A profile should show who you are, a small glimpse into your soul our personality or whatever! Just putting up a few things won't cut it. At least not for me.



Okay, now I feel better.



Good evening.

So I was able to talk to my brother today, if only for a little bit. But it helped. He was a little upset at me, but still supportive and kind, as always.



I'm glad I have such great friends.

I haven't been completely honest and open with those I love. I should've told them what I felt, what I was feeling. I somehow forgot that they will love me no matter what, no matter how I feel or what I say (at least to some degree).



To all of those who I have shown waning trust, and those who I have been dishonest to, I am sorry. I am truly sorry.



Please forgive your foolish, immature, naive friend.

It's official. I am now a member of La Vie Est Une Masquerade, The Little Green Masquerade. I'm happy to say I came up with the name, but that's not really important at all. What is important is that I'm part of a coven, a pack, a family.



I'm quite happy with the way my life is going.



*EDIT*



Sorry. It seems I got the name wrong. The original name was supposed to be that, but it couldn't work. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Oh that's nice. deviantART is under system maintenance. So I can't check my messages. Or my friends' deviations. That's irritating.



Oh, and to my future coven masters, I'm waiting 'til you're online to update. That way I don't get scooped up by a... I can't remember what they're called.

So I've been thinking. I usually don't write journals anymore. I used to vent in journals, but now I just vent at friends. It's really quite inconsiderate. I suppose I just like an immediate reaction. Though I should think more about people's feelings, put myself in their shoes.

But I should also find other ways to vent, ways away from the computer. I should start drawing what I feel again, writing it... I need to find my soul again. I need... to find myself... I can't really explain what I have to do...



I might not be on the computer too much over the next few days. Who knows, maybe longer.

So yeah. The English professor was too sick to come to class today, so I don't have another class 'till 1400, though I'll most likely leave around... hmmm 1330 or so.



Also I bought my Algebra book today. Almost $160! Jeez...



But well, the good news is I'm feeling better. Thanks for reading.

And so she left me. This Saturday it was official. She's decided to go back to Laura... I still love her. I honestly, truely love her. And there's so much I want to say to her, so much of what I feel, my judgement of this situation. I just...



I miss her so much. I love her so much...

I want to be with her again...

Well, the first day of the spring semestr was today. Things went well enough.



But something's missing. My friends. There are certain people I miss, certain people I would very much like to see again and talk to. I miss them.



Hopefully they're thinking of me, too.

Ugh... one week 'til classes start again. I hate that one week before classes start, 'cause you have that weird nervous feeling. Guess I should get all my crap taken care of and whatever...

Not going to be easy, since I haven't been in the best of moods lately, but I think things will work out, they usually do.



Oh, and Happy Gregorian New Year. And I'm aware it's late to say that, but whatever.