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So today was ok. Something I ate made my stomach hurt from the bus and on. Still hurts but not as much. I apparently have steel balls in my ears. Hah since my earring are stainless steel balls. I was walking out of 6th and Hannah asked, "what was the highlight of this class?" and I reply "The fact that I have balls of steel!" and the dude in front of my was like WHOA and it sounded wierd. We couldnt stop laughing until we got to the end of the 700 building... And that was a long, crowded building. And me and Carolyn were eating iced animal crackers and drinking gatorade in 7th. Until Brandon stole the. And Hannah and I were eating pizza in the bus area. I think that is what made me feel bad. Or the cheese sandwich at lunch. Oh ya! At lunch Demetri, Taylor, Jacob, Hailey, and me were having a tickle fight. We kept poking eachothers sides. Demetri sounded like a girl, Taylor got lound, Hailey, even louder, Jacob squirmed away, I squeaked. Not just a mouse squeak, but a high pitched girly squeak. None of them thought I could acomplish that. And on the bus... Oh the bus ride home... That was funny. I was sitting alone and Doug shows up and says "Im sitting next to you." I say "Otay." And he keeps pokin me in my side and grabbing my knee where it also tickles. And then we pull into the church parking lot. We only do that when Mr. Martin thinks we did something bad. Doug and I were like WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO?! And so Mr. Martin pulls out a bus write up. And were thinking OH SHIT. But the bus driver only started to name off what could get our names on there. Well, what was funny was that Doug has broken EVERY SINGLE RULE on that list. Body contact. Eating and drinking on the bus. Destoying the bus. Standing while it was moving. And so on and so forth. Mr martin kept using Doug as an example to tell the little kids. Hah... Dougs face got redder and redder. I love highschool sometimes...

Hah... My mom is a fail. She txted my dad saying I wanted to get my ear pierced again. So he called me up and was like "So, you wanna get ur ear pierced again?" I was like yes and he asked y. I said Ive been wanting it for a while everyone else has it and hannah got hers done today. He said ok ill go with it. if your mom doesnt take u to get it done i will. love ya bye. OMG LIKE A FUCKING BOSS I AM. So should get it done this weekend. WOO! Im happy now. and im surprised my dad said I could. I didnt even pierce my own ear because he called like two secs after my last entry. So less pain for me, and adds onto my rebellious streak I love my dad. Usualy I have to ask my mom for crap. My dad doesnt want me to paint my nails black, my mom takes me to get a manicure so i get them black. huh life is so odd...

COMMENTS

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chrysanthemia
04:49 Sep 29 2011

How is it a rebellious streak when, everyone is doing the same thing?

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Inkmind
02:21 Sep 30 2011

Im not saying it is a rebellious streak with others included. I am saying it is a rebellious streak against my mom. And against my family.

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Who ese hates it when parents lie? Two months ago when I got my ear lobe pierced, I had asked my mom that if they had worked out, which they have, then could I get my cartlage pierced. She said if they worked out. That means yes. Now today when I asked her if I could get them pierced this weekend, she said no. What the fucking hell?! Dont no one comment saying maybe I misunderstood. How can someone think she said if they work out when she really said no? It just don't work. If you do I swear you will piss me off enough to block your sorry ass. She knows everyone who has thier ears pierced at my school has it pierced in 2 or 3 different places! Why the hell can't I? She has her's pierced in four places! And today, MY BEST FRIEND got it done. I'm going to get shit about it for a long time. I am probably just going to do it myself. I got clean needles and rings. I got antisceptic. I'll do it my fucking self. Fuck her. I'm going to pierce my ears now.

Well today was fun. I got zombified in 7th. Me and my friends drew zombie stuff on my face. They all had kitty faces. It was fun on the bus untill I suddenly and unexplainibly got depressed. Doug kept asking whats wrong and I said I was ok. Then he asked if I was lying. I said i don't know. He said after that that he was going to talk to me on Facebook. I didn't respond. Right now I feel like breaking down in tears. And I dont know why. I just have that really bad feeling. Hannah, he mom, my mom, and me are going to have lunch together this Saturday. I hope we eaither go to Carabas or Golden Corral. I love Itallian food. But Golden Corral has the jello and fudge balls and macaroni that I love to death. So who knows, could be Zaxbys.

Best monday in a while. First in 1st period my teacher didn't write the date on the board so I had to do the math... I thought friday was the 22 so Saturday was the 23, Sunday the 24, monday the 25... Haha... and in third me and beth were listening to music and she said that the song made her wanna headbang so we headbanged in CLASS! And at the bus area Doug and Jacob decided it was time to play Violent Pinball with me. It was fun. In 7th me Shanaynay beth and kellii drew a cat nose and whiskers on our faces... in INDUSTRAIL SHARPIES haha still cant get it off! And THEN!!! AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN!!! MY MOM CALLED TO TELL ME THAT HER DEPLOYMENT TO BAGHDAD GOT CANCELLED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I saw my dad today! AND I CAUGHT A BUTTERFLY!! and my mom told me to find a friend to go with us to atlanda for fall break! Thanks to Hannah's mom, were going to atlanta that four day weeknd and going to the coca cola factory, the zoo, the aquarium, AND SIX FLAGS!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Best day ever or what?! I should catch butterflies more often!!! oh and I made ten bucks by sellin my piece o crap guitar and stand (it was in good shape just never used it or learned how) so now I will be able to afford the things I need to make my Link (from legend of Zelda) costume!!!!!!!!!! best day ever or what! watch this, itll be horrible later.

I just got back from The Bitch's kid's game... it was boring as hell. They lost thank god. No bragging tonight. Theyll be crying when they figure out I'm going to a bonfire and eating junkfood all night and they will be eating The Bitch's nasty, flavorless chicken and rice and have to deal with the horrible stench of boiling chicken. I would get a shower but it is already in use by a nasty six year old brat. And now I have to wait and will probably be going to the party with wet hair. I am not allowed to use the Hair drier for some stupid reason. They think I shoved a crayon in it while it was on and hot. Why the fuck would I do that? So now I am not allowed to use it. Fucking asshole of bitch ass lives. Oh well, I'll be busy hiding my cuts from my parents.

I cant sleep so I decided to type. I am still in pain mentaly and physically. Not as much as before, but a shower right after cutting yourself isn't smart. Ouch. Well The Bitch told me I was not cared for and was a waste of life and time. I was told the only reason I exist is because my mom was a whore and my dad was to drunk to know what he was doing. I dont even know why I was told this. The Bitch just suddenly went off on me. I wasn;t even awake to do anything, I just was woken up and yelled at. So who knows. But I told one of my friends what I had done and they helped me out a little bit. And I am saying this now: I am moving into my moms house, even if I am leaving my friends and my dad. I will move to texas and will be able to see a friend I havent seen in a long time. So for now, I will continue cutting myself until my mom is back from deployment. Im a little tired now so Ill try to sleep again... Good Night Vampire Rave!

Well... The Bitch finally suceeded in depressing me enough for me to cut myself. And so when she left to go get crap for her kids, I got out a knife and cut my wrist... Dull knives hurt like hell... More than a shark tooth, eraser, and a thumb tack do. And I would know. So now, thanks to her doing, the bottom of my left arm is scratched up becuase I couldn't get the knife to really cut. I don't know if it was my mind not letting it really cut or if it was too damn dull. Probably both. But I did it over 100 times. I counted. 117 cuts all on my left arm. None will scar though. Too shallow. And I even had the knife to my neck for a minute deciding whether to end it or not. Hah... And I thought my life was improving...

Today was good. My lunch buddy got arrested again. Haha. I still got to hang out with Demitri and Doug. Hah, after seventh period while I was heading towards the bus area, I got really cold. And so when I got to where my group hangs, I put my stuff down and was like, "May I have your undivided attention please!" and they looked at me with funny faces. I then said, "I am fucking freezing!!!!" And then Doug and Hannah came up to me and hugged me. And I do have to say, Hannah was icey cold and Doug was a furnace. I was like "Wow you two together are like fire and ice!" They backed up and we all laughed. And I was like "Not the sexual stuff..." and then I had to get on the bus where Doug contined to annoy me till I let him borrow my IPod. And then he kept annoying me. And then like two minutes before I got off the bus, it started to pour down rain. Good thing for me was my house key is on my necklace and the bus stop is my driveway. And Demitri and Jacob were shoving me back and forth while walking back from lunch... I love my friends so much! Hah!

Today was ok. The hishschool was doing grads testing in the 300 building. Anyone not testing couldnt go in the building. My 1st and 7th period classes are in there so I had to relocate for 1st since they were done by seventh. I was so confused because my teacher never told us what class or even building to go to. So I got off the bus and went to the office. They told me to go to the counseler in the 100 building. So I went there. I was then told to go to the 300 building because there would be someone there to tell me where to go. I was told to go to room 206 in the 200 building. I don't have a class there so I was confused as hell. I asked three peeps where it was and finally found the building and my class. Then I had to read my book report... I hate reading in front of people... but anyways, it was a good day.

I am done. I am fucking done. I don't want to give a shit about anyone or anything. I am tired of other people's sob stories and they have a great life. Well I just don't give a damn. The Bitch has non stop hate towards me all fucking weekend and I just want a break from those three and everyone else. I am waiting for the day my mom gets back from Bahgdad so I can move in with her. It isn't my dads fault, but it is the Bitches fault. All three of them. Riley won't SHUT THE FUCK UP and is getting me into trouble because he is picking up on the words I say. Avery is ANNOYING AS HELL. And The Bitch. OH MY FUCKING GOD IF THERE IS ONE!!!!! Stop giving me all your chores and Averys and Rileys!!! NO WONDER WHY YOUR SO FUCKING FAT!!! YOU DON"T EVERY DO A DAMN THING AROUND THE FUCKING DAMN HOUSE. GET OFF YOUR DAMN LAZY ASS AND DO SOMETHING AND MABEY YOUR DIET WILL FUCKING WORK!! LOOK AT MY FUCKING SELF!! I'VE LOST 25 FUCKIN POUNDS SINCE SCHOOLS STARTED!!! BECUASE I DID SHIT. I DID MY CHORES. I DIDN"T EAT EVERY FIVE SECONDS. I HAVE TO WALK A FUCKING MILE EVERYDAY TO GET TO ALL MY DAMN CLASSES. 25 FUCKIN POUNDS. Get off my fucking back. I swear. She has pushed me to the limit. I have to take my glasses off so I can see her clearly to keep from punching her in the damf face. I don't mind feeding the bird and doing dishes everyday, but if I have to start doing everyone else's chores, itl piss me off. I wish my dad were here. She wouldnt make me do every chore in the damn world if he were here. I know he loves me and doesnt want me to move in with my mom, but if he isnt going to be here but mabey a couple times a month, dealing with Luisa just isn't worth it to me. Spend Christmas and Thanksgiving with me. Him not being here and Luisa's pressure is seriously depressing me. I am going to need to go to a phsycologist... again... I'm tired of crying my eyes out. I am really thinking about running away. I know it isnt the answer but if you were in my position and had a life like mine, you would be thinking about it to. And I've actually run away before too. I've even had issues that adults have had. The amount of stress, depression, breakdowns, worries, dangers, all that shit. And I won't let anyone hurt me. That is why I am so fucking done. The people of this house are filling my mind with suicidal thoughts...

Ugh sorry I've not been on in I dont know how long... School, The Bitch, and my laziness are getting in the way... Yes I'm to lazy to open and turn on my laptop!! My left glases lense decided it wanted to pop out while I was cleaning it and every time I popped it back in it popped back out... So I was blind throughout today and was tempted to put a sign saying BLIND PERSON COMING THROUGH WATCH OUT!! on my jacket...and yesterday I got my friend Doug to carry my somehow heavier bookbag to the bus area and onto the bus... and on the bus I figureded out I accidently walked outta fifth period math with a text book... and I dont want another text book. Seven classes and one text book is enough for me! Even though I'm failing math... And my lunch buddy )person I sit with at lunch) got arrested and WADDA YOU KNOW that afternoon I got arrested for apparenty shoplifting when I was just holding something next to the doors... well, I wasnt alone at the popo station... TURNS OUT I WAS INNOCENT!! I swear the paranoia these days... Well I have to go help out around the house... AGAIN... and then order PIZZA for dinner NUMMEH!! sooo... TTYL