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I've taken to questioning my sanity as of late. i'm convinced that something is wrong. it wasn't the dark thoughts or my odd taste of music, but more of just the strange things that i do that seem normal to me, but really aren't. Lately i've been staying up until two in the morning having conversations with people that last several hours. they are legitamate two sided conversations, that occur every night about some issue or another. This may not seem too odd, but the thing that sounded the alarm for most people is that I do this completely alone in my room, out loud, in the dark. Some odd things are happening, such as calling dice rolls more often than not, or comming up with answers to questions people have yet to ask. I'm not really sure. The phychic stuff i can understand and explain, but the talking to myself and laughing and eating Mac and Cheese while watching an autopsy of a human cadaver, kind of concerns some people i know. I'm probably just over playing this whole thing and i'm simply going through a phase. Whatever the reason, i hope it passes soon, i threatened some girl with sodomy via a broomstick wrapped in barbed wire...

I've been noticing a strong number of fetish sites when the word 'goth' or 'vampire' is entered into a search engine. Is it me or is there a seemingly large idea that people who are 'goths' or 'vampires' or members of the 'occult' are crazy sex freaks who don't do anything but wear latex and screw each other? It kind of annoys me. I wonder sometimes why people designate characteristics of personality or attributes to people who like to put themselves in certain groups. i can beat most of the jocks i know in an arm wrestling match, and most of the 'goths' i know are some of the most up beat, energetic people i've ever met. In fact, the employees at a local health food store are some of the most bitter, down right mean people i can think of, and some of the 'hippies' i know are insanely kniving and just downright nasty. I think that people give themselves rights based off of their social distinctions and friend groups. i've noticed a lot of people who are members of some strange religion or society, and assume that because they are a part of these groups that they are immediately accepting of other people. They really aren't. If you claim to be open, you damn well better be. I've met way too many Wiccans who bash Christian beliefs on a daily basis, and then claim to be accepting. "Hey, I'm Pagan, that means I'm open." Christianity is a religion too. We cannot base people off of their religious stereotypes or pasts. We don't go up to English people and say "Hey, way to be a douchbag and invade Scotland." It's not their fault, stop assuming it is.

Have you ever wanted to bash your head against a wall? I do. Nothing seems to be happening right. it's annoying. i figured that i would simply write this for the sake of writing it, such is my bordom and frustration right now.