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Knumbskull

Dunderhead

Idiotic

Impatient

Moronic

Scared

Sorry



These are just a few of the emotions flowing through me at the moment

I see something on myspace and jump through the computer

My heart came out of my mouth

I chewed on my aorta

My brain shut down

Lips started bleeding

And then he woke me up

Expained why

I wiped blood from my chin

And smiled sweetly as I wept

He loves me still

I thought

I shouldnt jump to conclusions

I await for him to be ready

to take me on and all the challenges that come with me

For him to be able to embrace me fully without the fears of regret

For his eyes to truly focus on what it is he wants without the look of wonder and pain

His heart beating beside me, and inside me at the same time

I cannot force him to be okay with this

I cannot expect him to jump off the same cliff I jump from anxiously

He has to wait, to ponder his circumstances and drink in his anxiety

I hate the way he makes meel feel about my impatience

I hate being impatient

But I know he means well, and most likely is right in doing this to me

I just hurt for him, I urge for him so greatly sometimes I believe the pain will never cease

It will

I know it will, but until then I will yearn and wait sadly for this to pass

Though we span over a thousand miles

and our hands have never touched

Our minds cling together

like the binding of an ancient text

Our hearts painfully beating seperately

yet in unison and queerly

Our eyes never beheld but images of each other

except as glass layden humanoids

But something so strong carries me through

the emotional rollercoaster

The voice of a mystery unsolved

but willfully unveiling itself before me

A dream of something so real it will reach out

and become my lover

Waiting for a week of sheer delight together

for once in the flesh and bone

I will bleed for him

and he will be mine forever

To go back to the other side of the screen

and become a humanoid again

And I will wait patiently for his embrace

and softly spoken words in my ears

To feel his fingers through my hair

and his breath on my neck

I will wait as long as it takes

as long as he will walk beside me

Sexuality_

its very tricky

today shes hot

tomorrow i love his lips

her breasts are so smooth

his shoulders are strong and broad

i love them both

i want them both

i would never judge someones attraction to or love for someone of the same or different sex





But do me a favor_

dont say you are bi at 13

look inside yourself and truly think

its not a fad, not a style, its a way of life

be careful the stigma you carry with you is yours

please dont use sexuality as a means for attention

you may end up dead for something you never believed in

just because you wanted to fit in

Meat me beat me

Anyway you eat me

Im a steak



Sirloin steak wrapped in bacon

mashed potatoes feel forsaken

sauteed mushrooms onions too

just make sure you dont forget to chew





Meat me beat me

Anyway you eat me

Im a steak





Chopped and formed

bread forlorned

corn and beer

and califlower





Meat me beat me

anyway you eat me

Im a steak

I want you to throw me down hard

strip me naked and trace me with your hands

and kiss me passionately

I want to see you undress before me

to allow your smooth pale skin to touch mine

and your bountiful manhood to seduce me



On top of me, straddling me, teasing me

your fingers sliding inside my eagerness

until you endulge me with your hardened staff

melting me from the inside out

and throbbing in heartfelt rythym



I want you to hold me as I bellow

choke me when I am nearing release

and lay down upon me exausted and dripping

when you have been spent

you left me open like a book to gather dust

my pages have been worn by your greasy finger

and my binding is all but falling apart



you dont bother to close the door behind you

leaving your footprints on my floor

and the shadow of you leaning in my doorway



you left my eyes clouded

pieces of you stuck inside my mind's eye

blocking the beauty that others possess

Howls of wolves call to thee

the night ringing phantom who sets them free

Tarnished and withered they crawl

striving for the top knowing eventually they fall

Calling out in the midst of strife

"Help me" and he does with the blade of a knife

They should know to take heed

but they end up suffering until their eyes bleed

Writhing in pain

they twist and they turn taking his name in vain

He turns a deaf ear

and soon enough the pain melts into fear

Shattered on the ground

they lie there helpless with no one around

And then they learn

when you're alone its to you, you will turn

They either live or die

its up to them whether they walk or lie

Those who have to ask

become lucid when the phantom is unmasked

Those who stand

live out their lives just like the ordinary man

Those who lie

well their souls give up and leave them to die

Wouldn't it be odd

if the phantom was in fact this illusive god

When you cry I can feel the tears rolling down

I feel the heat of your embarassments

Know the depths of your sadness

See the smile on my face when you are joyous

My heart skips when you are frightened

Your heartaches in my chest

My stomach turns when you are sick

I am your mirror child

You are my reflection looking up at me