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Friendships15:57 Oct 14 2007
Times Read: 753
You want to know what burns my ass. A flame about 2 feet high. No really. What burns my ass is the fact that I have all these supposive close personal friends, friends that say I’m their best friend, that will come and dump on me again and again. That will ask me for this graphic or that graphic. That will turn to me in a time of need. That want my advice but then don’t take it. That’s fine, normally that is my job.
You want to know how many conferences I have sat in on, trying to be the mediator. How many times I was a mediator for a coven dispute, that wasn’t my coven? How many friends I have pulled into a conference because they aren’t talking to each other but everyone around them? How many people come and talk to me about a person but won’t talk to the bain of their existence because they are too pissed or too afraid? It’s the FUCKING INTERNET FOR DAMN SAKE!!!!
Hell I don’t mind doing that shit. I like helping. But does anyone of these close personal friends know what I have been going through the past couple of days, the past couple of weeks? NO. Because the friendship doesn’t swing both ways. Some will say, all you had to do is say something. No, because true friends would see or sense that something is going on with me. From my journal entries, that I am dealing with something big but they can’t be bothered to read them. To ask me about them. To care ABOUT ME!!!!
I have said before, I have two best friends. These two guys will put their own shit away in their mind, long enough to ask me if I’m ok and ask me with such caring attitude, that I know they actually want to listen, that they actually care. Not the….yup, a huh, I understand….are we done yet cause I have to tell you what happen to me.. type of friend. They care how it effects me and my relationships. They care about the tears I’m crying right now. They care about my heart being torn up as I realize things, changing my whole outlook at how I was brought up and how I react to things. NOBODY will ever get as close as Vlkodlak and Hellsguardian69 to me. You want to know why? Because the relationship is give and take. I will listen to both of them and they will listen to me. Not the half assed listening, but the listening of a friend that knows you inside and out and understands why things fuck with your head. That knows when you need the deep voice of, “I’m here babe.” and when you need your ass kicked because your thought processes are out of wack.
I have more than one person on here claim me as their best friend. But friendship is a two way street. To most, I am a counselor. A wise person to help with their outlook and their way of perceiving things. To most of my coven, that is what I am. A counselor. Our friendship doesn’t quite swing both ways, because I am a private person at times and times, I don’t want to burden anyone else, especially the kids in my coven. My best friends, will take on the burden, no questions asked.
I’m sure I hurt some people, not putting them in the category of Vlkodlak and HG. But everyone has standards of friends. Very few reach V and HG status. I have some girlfriends on here that are close to them, the female counterparts of them, when I need the womanly kind of advice. I think Redqueen, Silverbow and Nightgame are them. I know I’m not as close with Nightgame as her Rat and Birdy. They are like V and HG to me.
I wonder if sometimes these two women think I am like the people I am describing. *sighs* The quest to be a better friend never ends.
So, end of my rant and I’m just faced with more questions. I know that I will be getting messages out of the woodwork, wondering who I am talking about, or those that think its them. I have described things in a general sort of way. In a way its everyone and in another, its nobody. It’s a rant, sometimes they make sense sometimes they don’t.
Yeah I put myself in the middle, I am a counselor and a mediator. With empathy as my gift, I can often describe how a person is feeling when they don’t have the words. Since most don’t have empathy, I have written my feelings, so people aren’t in the dark. I hope this doesn’t stop people from coming to me, but to be more sensitive to how they treat me sometimes. For those who get it, who get what I’m trying to say. Thank you.
Greetings October
15:58 Oct 07 2007
Times Read: 800
Oh yeah the fool speaks yet again.21:31 Oct 02 2007
Times Read: 791
LordKratos2 and his wonderful bullshit. Now he is claiming to be a cop, looking for pedophiles.
But wouldn't you present yourself as a teenager to get pedophiles? Instead you are approaching young kids and being sexual with them. I want to know which police department you are with, because since its on the internet....guess what. This is federal jurisdiction, so are you now going to say you are F.B.I?
Please go and check out ChemicalReaction and Queenmorbidjournals for more about LordKratos
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