The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

Today was another one of those "please shoot me in the head days." I feel at odds with everything. I have needs that long to be me but, they same impossible to satisfy. I long to be loved. I don't know, maybe I feel too much.

LDR

I'm not sure how to describe how I feel. Powerful yet powerless. strong yet weak, talented yet bland. All of my recent decisions have been out of necessity not for me but for my kids. I honestly don't know what I need or want. Friends who were special in my life but have made their exit still haunt me. My mind constantly wraps around them until the need to reconnect strangles me. I put a lot of time into crying and about 0% into the guitar, piano or cello. I spent maybe an hour on my Book of Shadows and 0 time on the novels I am writing. I have spent no time trying to learn more about the vampire side of me even though I bought the Psychic Vampire Codex a year ago and vowed to read it. I'm lost and afraid that I'll never be found.

LDR