The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

This "Pre-booty call" agreement ( hereinafter referred to as "The Agreement" is entered into on the ________ day of ___________ , 2008 by ________________ and ________________.



THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:



1. No sleeping over - unless it's very good & we need to repeat it in the morning.



2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.



3. No calls before 9 AM - we don't have SHIT to talk about!



4. None of that "Lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.



5. No emotional discussions ( i.e - Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? ) The answer is "NO" so don't ask



6. No plans made in advance - that is why you're being called "The backup", unless you're from out - of - town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.



7. All gifts accepted - Money is always good



8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged!



9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really NONE of YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS!!!



10. No calling each other "Friends w/ privileges" ... we are NOT friends... just sex buddies



11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK... so don't be offended



12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave



13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the fuck home!



14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it... I don't care!



15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason



16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be "Just someone temporary to play with"



17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better



18. No condoms, no fuckin! Carry your ass home!



19, Bring your own drink - I am NOT your liquor store! This ain't your momma's house bitch!



20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone callin back lookin for your ass!



EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:



The aforementioned rules may ONLY be altered by THE HOLDER OF THE AGREEMENT.... ( I. E....... Jesse, Sarah, Egraine, Gweny, Serina, Elizabeth herself.....Sianna..... any other name you desire to call me as I have served under them ALL )



If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the "BOOTY CALL LIST" and deleted from my phone memory and email list. In other words.... you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your dumbass understands the rules.



PARTICIPATING PARTY





Signature _______________________________

Date _______________________





PARTICIPATING PARTY



Signature ___________________________________

Date ___________________________________