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Am having one of those days were by when being stuck in bed and limited on escape routes are none to existence. I have got issues with leg and people either seem to feel the need to text me cause they have no one else to talk to and know that i have phone next to me so shall dump their shit on me or better yet actually come visit me and feel the need to tell me they are planning on leaving everything and upping and deserting their family if they had the money to do it. Ouch cause i can run and hide from the conversation and lock myself in the bathroom.





On a brighter note i managed to lift my foot off the floor about an inch today and that is something i have not been abled to do for the last 19 days. So yay to me progress is happening finally :)

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LORDMOGY
12:08 Feb 20 2014

Congrats on your progress....

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Put the kettle on cause im doing a mahoossa of a rant here now that the drugs are slightly wearing off.



So my youngest has Autism for those that are not in the know. I had to have knee surgery on 29th January this year and had already been cancelled twice due to lack of helping with regards to my youngest and his meltdowns. His Autism is high function and he also has learning disabilties as well so he is not aware of danger around him at all unless he was to hurt himself and then he would realise that by the hurt and pain it might be a dangerous situation. Sometimes seeing something on tv has an impact enough for him to grasp but not always.

Anyhow at the end of last year november to be exact my sons disability social worker agrees after much pressure and realizing that actually im not faking it and surgeons letter telling him straight that yes i do require surgery for my left knee that he will ask to put my son into a place of temperary respite care where he would have round the clock care and supervision and be looked after. It was killing me that i would have to place my son in something like that and not be abled to look after him.

My sons social worker got back to me a week and a half before my surgery the beginning of January that he did not qualify! Serioulsy are you fuckin shitting me you asshole i asked him.

He replied that funding was not avalable and that in his opinion my son was best at home there was no place for my son to go. However his boss had agreed that my son should be looked after whilst i got myself better.

So the plan was that a member of staff would come in whilst he was in the house during the day and look after him as my neighbors had kindly agreed to do cooking and shopping as well as helping me out mobility wise and such.

Well the day of the surgery came and i explained as best as i could hoping that my youngest would understand if not all of it but a small portion of it. He had met the staff members and they had been shown the ropes so everything was in place all set. I travelled to the hospital and sat nervously waiting till it was my turn. I went down to theater at 1.00pm and didnt come to untill 3.30pm. The surgery had gone as well as could be expected and i fought with the afternoon staff to release me so i could hobble my ass back home for my kids.

They agreed i could leave given that i was threatening to either whip their asses with tied bed sheets to which i would then use to escape by shimmying my ass out of the window and down the drain pipes. So i left and returned back home. All was quiet but i could tell something was not quite fine and dandy but my main concern after i had greeted my two boys was to tackle the 15 steps in front of me to get myself up and into bed.

Job done and easy tackle given that the surgeons had injected my leg with lots of lovely drugs.

The following day i awoke to the house being alive with people coming and going and taking over my jobs which i bit the bullet and let go of the controlls to be honest i couldnt do much except keep the medication up and fluids.

Friday was pretty much the same routine and i was getting a bit more with it in the land of the living given that my sleep pattern was all to shit with the pain.

It was not till Saturday morning that i had started to notice that one of the workers was not quite what she portrayed to be. She came in early and my son had been awake but i couldnt get up to attend to him. By then the swelling had gotten so big i was imobilized and couldnt be as active as i would have like to have been.

But the woman that had come in could hear my son was awake but she headed straight for the kitchen and put the kettle on made herself a cuppa and then popped back outside to have a smoke. To which i wouldnt mind but she was 15 mins into her shift already. She eventually got up the stairs just as my neighbor was coming to help me out of bed. By then this woman has had half an hour and im needing to use the bathroom. Im in pain and the medication was doing diddly squat!

So yes i was rude and i did tell her she would have to wait till i had gone in and it made me feel guilty as hell placing my needs before my son.

My neighbor helped me out and i settled back into my bed only to see that the woman who should know what she is doing had actually done my son's routine all wrong. I didnt say anything but kept my mouth shut and my neighbor and eldest son watched as she proceeded to do some small things wrong. My neighbor had gone off to work a short while later and by late morning my eldest was bored and had gone to see a neighbor. So i was sat in my bed reading a book when i heard the front door go. I have an alarm on my front door so i know when it is opened and closed as the alarm can be heard upstairs as well. So now my son is downstairs on his own whilst the carer is outside having yet another smoke and has left me upstairs alone. It is a good opertunity for my son to attack and have a meltdown. He could either harm himself in some way or he could attack my leg and burst wide open all my stitches and do some real damage not really comprehending the wrongness in his actions. So she returns after her smoke and i am mad but i had asked my neghbor to look out the window to see if i had been right and yep i was. I didnt say anything and thought i would wait till monday and speak to the boss. Fortunately after she had gone other staff members came and took over and i explained my concern to them. So a while later i had a phone call from the out of hours staff who handled emergencies. I explained what had happened and they agreed it was placing him as well as my own safety in danger and that a note would be left for the boss to contact me. Great i thought until i realized she was due back on the sunday afternoon and monday morning.

So my neighbor on the sunday afternoon popped in and out and sure enough i had been left alone again with my son in the house so i phoned my neighbor up and she came back round again just as this carer was coming back in from her smoke.

Again we waited till the next staff member came on and i told them what had happened.

Unfortunately with it being a sunday they were limited on options so i was still banking on the monday phone call and raising my concerns.

Monday morning i was dreading as my youngest got up and once again his routine was out of ballance my neighbor noted the things done wrong as well as my eldest and we all waited till my sons school bus came to take him. My eldest was attacked by him as he left the front door to go off to school and so that was upsetting to hear. A short while later the carer was determined to still get him into the school bus even though i had already said she had little chance. However my neighbor and i sat back as basically there was nothing i could do and my neighbor was there for my personal needs not my son. Hence that is what she was there for.

The neighbors daughter in law had by then arrived as well and we all sat upstairs whist my youngest and the carer sat downstairs. We heard the bus arrive and the carer was clearly not aware of what she was letting herself or my son in for.

The next bit i write as from a third part point of view of that being the daughter in law as i couldnt and still cant get to my window and stand for long periods of time so she relayed it back to me what she was seeing.

That the carer had walked my son down the drive and as the escort was about to grab my sons hand he got free of the carers grip and bolted it down the road to oncoming traffic. It is a busy road with parents taking kids off to school and others heading off to work also is a bus route as well so a lot of traffic im sure you can imagine.

My neighbor had by then ran down the stairs and was chasing after overtaking the escort lady and the carer for to grab my son before he was struck by traffic. Fortunately no one was hurt and all were safe. The carer at this point was still determined to get my son on the mini bus off school. My son has NEVER ran away from my home ever before and he knows traffic is dangerous. At this point i am feeling so useless and just want to go to my son but i know in his state of mind at that time he would have lashed out at me and that would not have helped anyone.

Im sat on my bed hearing my son screaming and shouting in the middle of the street telling this carer to fuck off and that he is not going to school. He punches my neighbor in the face and scratches her hands and knuckles. She finally gets my son in the house followed by the carer who should be trained in how to handle all of this but was actually prized apart from my sons grip on more than one occassion out in the street and in the home.

My son then proceeds to come up the stairs the daughter in law bracing her strength against my bedroom door as she knows i will be next in my sons meltdown. Sure enough he is wanting me alright but again something that i have handled and coped with for the last 12 years of his attacks now has me sitting on the bed once again feeling useless and all instincts in me wants to protect my son and then go attack the carer myself afterwards.

An hour of my son smashing up his bedroom as in his wardrobe tiped over and snapped the key to the lock as well as the handle to it was snapped off. He smashed up a chair as he has little furniture in his room as it is. So whilst the daughter in law let the neighbor back into my room the carer cowardly hide in the room next to me in eldest sons room.

It was the most sensible thing she had done that morning as my neighbor took one look at me upon entering my bedroom and new that the carer would not be walking down my drive stitches or not.

So my son was going at it for a full hour and by then my politeness had gone out the window and i roared loud enough that the carer needed to shift her ass downstairs and see what protocals she had to follow. Yeah i know you would have thought she would have had the savvy to go and find out. So my neighbor went with her whilst the daughter in law stayed in my room and my son was still in his going hell for leather.

At this point i have already left one voicemail message to the office and my patience is some what peeved off so to my delight when a secretary answers my call she asks if she can relay a message to the boss who was currently busy at that time. (The boss was on the phone to the carer at the time)

So i said sure relay this word for word. "Your carer has not only once but twice left my son unattended in the house for a smoke break alone leaving him downstairs with me upstairs. She has not followed the routines your boss left in place for all the staff members to follow and she this morning right royally fucked up as in after she didnt follow his routine he ran down the drive away from her into oncoming traffic and that now he has been up here in his bedroom smashing it up she had been cowering in my eldest's bedroom whilst my neighbor and her daughter in law are stood behind mine to protect me as i cant get up to go and attend to my son given that i have surgery on my leg. You can either relay that word for word or tell your boss to get the fuck off the phone and call me back or better yet she gets her ass in the car and gets herself to my house!" the secretary by then was all full of apologise and would have the boss call me back immediately.

So by then my neighbor has come up the stairs and told me the carer had explained to the boss it was a minor blip. A minor BLIP MY FUCKIN ASS! She had been asked to stay on till someone could come and take over. (I dont fuckin think so)

Before i could even reply to it the boss phoned me and asked what was going on. So i gave her the low down and then i told her she had 5 mins to call the carer back and tell the carer to shift her ass out of my house or the daughter in law would shift her for me as my leg couldnt drop kick her out onto the street due to my blip of my leg having been operated on.

The boss at this time knew i was not kidding. So the call went through and my neighbor and daughter in law still saw her off the premises given that my son was now in his calming faze.

With in the half an hour i had the boss and deputy boss sat on the edge of my bed whilst my neighbour and i relayed the story of events as the daughter in law took over keeping an eye on my youngest.

It wasnt until then that my neighbor had told me the full version of events that whilst i was on the operating table my son had had a massive meltdown that wednesday afternoon. My orninments and yankee candles had all been smashed in my sitting room. This carer had been on in the wednesday afternoon and my neighbor out of good will had said her here is my number call or text me if he becomes to upset i am just next door. It was a good 20 mins before the carer called my neighbor when he was in a full meltdown.

My neighbor was trying to avoid in telling me until i was up and about and abled bodied to look after myself a bit better.

On the Wednesday i got to go downstairs as i had physio and the therapist was not happy with me at all as i have not progressed as far as she would have liked me to and should not have left the house on the wednesday to turn up.

So when i returned back home frustrated as hell with myself and knowing it couldnt get any better or worse i asked my neighbor to show me the damage he had done. Whilst i am upset at loosing some orniments and candles to which i was not going to glue back together or have cracked reminders visible and the broken candles from where he could have done real damage and ended up in hospital himself. How frustrating i felt on Wednesday that he could have himself ended up in hospital and i would not have known or been there myself for him in such a strange environment. Believe me when i say i think someone was watching over him even when this carer was not but the bit that really upset me was that after he had calmed down that monday morning he apologised to me saying he was sorry. A time when he has nothing to say sorry for as it was not his fault.

That afternoon my sons social worker had shown up and had spoken to the staff member that was on that time and to see if they viewed that my son requires more than one member of staff to look after my son. To which they all have agreed he should have two members of staff. Not once did the social worker come upstairs to see me as i had by then been in to much pain to stay downstairs. He avoided me knowing that he had fucked up once again.

On the Thurday morning we had a further meltdown a delayed backlash of monday where once again he attacked a carer as well as my neighbor. I phoned the boss and told her to contact the social worker who had late wednesday afternoon told her that social services viewed he still only required one carer. So i phoned and left a shitty voicemail message demanding him that he was to tell his boss that my son was going to get two carers and that he was going to do it immediately. I hung up and oddly enough my social worker has not gotten back to me but he now has till monday to get his ass in gear and get back to me or i am contacting my local members of parliment. Im not into polititions but im an enraged and pissed off. Thats two who have gone and rattled my cage and moved my rock. Beware this bitch is biting back and she is biting hard!



And yes i can have a laugh and joke escaping on here to forget for a few seconds the things that anger me around in the real world.

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xXxPaynexXx
20:48 Feb 07 2014

You already know how I feel about this situation...



-sharpens blades and gets out the shovels-

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