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I sold my soul at a very young age, is that why nothing really registers to me? Is that why I feel dead? Am I dead?





So as I sit upon my bed covered in black silk sheets I crumble a bit more. My demons whisper to me "Speak your mind and let it all out." I bite my tongue and let the warm ooze that tasted slightly sweet and salty drip on my black shirt. I can't speak my mind, I wouldn't have anything left I whisper back.



"That's okay, you know that you're bored of them anyway." I slouch onto the floor and cover my head wanting my demons to shut up...I know how wicked my tongue is.





I know the damage I can do...I say nothing back.



My demons are my true friends because they tell me the truth, what's already on my mind...I've become friends with them...



Sadistic, cruel, cold and twisted...just like me.

I could lie and say that you do nothing to me and that you are nothing but a pass time. I could lie and say that you never completed me and that I have nine lives. I could lie about all that you are to me but I wont. You are my fallen angel, my light, my goddess and my heart. You are my sun, my stars and the silver line between my gold. You are the only woman I think of when I dream and the first thing on my mind when I wake up, is it spring? The warmth of your soul, the gentle caress of your heart as I hold it in my hands and think "Damn, what is she made of?" Sugar, spice and everything nice. I might have saved you but I saved myself when saving you. As you fell from that place you belonged and I sat upon the bones of the ones I've crossed out, I wondered. Why? Why is someone so gentle, so fragile here on this damned site?



I didn't wonder for long because I sensed your longing, your soul beckoned me. So as I came closer I humbled myself and approached you like I should. Dear Gods I thought...you're beautiful. You're beautiful because you're you and you don't try to hide it, is it a dream? A dream that I made up in my mind to caress my thoughts as I thought back in time? The time where I was seen as everything I wasn't but you knew the real me. You accepted me, you loved me and that broke me. I thought, if I had a chance to do it over again, I wouldn't.





My angel, your halo shines brighter than any diamond and your words have more power than you would ever hope to have dreamed. If I had nine lives they would belong to you and I would risk them all to save you again. You complete me as I complete you and that would never change. So here is to us, for much more time in a day, there isn't really much more I can say.

I had that same dream last night but this time I was falling. It felt nice, the feeling of just letting go and letting the darkness surround me. I felt at peace, not knowing what would happen next. I reached out my hand in that darkness but it was bare, why does that happen? I have the same dream of complete darkness but it is only me there. Am I going insane? No, I don't think so. My mother always told me that it was okay to talk to yourself but only when those voices talked back should you be worried. I don't have voices and I don't have demons. I consumed my demons, so maybe this is there darkness? I don't know but I like it...

Your presence is like morphine, I've become an addict for you. Addicted to you I find myself wanting more of you. Using any excuse to be near you, to see you, to feel you, to smell you. I have become a slave to my own desires, even though I know you are no good. You take what you want from me, you use up every bit of me. Leaving me with nothing but a shell of myself. I feel complete around you, though when you leave my side and disappear into that darkness I feel used, abandoned, broken and weak. I am nothing but a soul in this fleshly body. Yet, you manage to get all of me. I leave and come back, regretting it every time. Now my days drag on and I feel like a helpless girl alone in this world. I call for salvation and then there is you. Are you my salvation, my God? You bring me into such sweet agony that I never knew existed. I regret the touching, the giving and you the taker. My only regret is that I can't regret loving you deep down in my soul. If I could hate you with every last bit of me, would there be anything left for you to take? I will continue to pray and beg for salivation and will it be you on the other end waiting to receive me? I will pray harder this time, maybe to a demon.

I had a dream, that quickly turned into a nightmare. Where you were my prince and I was your princess. I look back on that dream, the stars shined brighter, the moon seemed closer...You, the prince who was so far from me seemed nearer. I should have noticed it then, how could someone too good to be true, be mine? This is where the happy ending crumbles and I'm left with a bitter taste in my mouth. The requiem for the dead sing praise upon my foolish ways. I must remember that I'm the cursed girl with a false crown and you're the dead prince that arrived too late.