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5 entries this month
Circles 03:37 Apr 27 2011
Times Read: 451
Does it feel like you are always walking in circles and getting no where? No matter how hard you try?
What then?06:52 Apr 21 2011
Times Read: 466
What do you do when you fall down? Do you get back up? Dust the dirt off your knees like nothing happened? Smile. But in the back of your mind there is a small voice telling you that it did happen. What then? How do you handle the voices?
Whoa05:17 Apr 21 2011
Times Read: 474
They'll be freaks out tonight.
On the mind03:39 Apr 21 2011
Times Read: 475
Even whats on the mind can not be writing down some times. Its hard to put into words or picture. Or should we even try?
What do you do?02:43 Apr 17 2011
Times Read: 496
You think you know the people around you. But you do not. YOU say you do but it is all a big fucking lie!! They say they well always be there for you but they will not. They say nothing will ever come between you, but its a lie. It always was. All the time we hear these words but it makes us feel better, that there is someone out there that loves us, cares about us. Gives a fuck what are day is about. Makes promise that you know that they will never be kept. But you smile knowing full fucking well that they will never be kept. No matter how many tears fall, or the pain that feels our heart you still look to the next day..hoping...dreaming that there has to be at lest something better out there then all the pain you went through, the tears. Or in the end was it for nothing. Or are we just all just hiding behind mask not wanting to be found...
Or are we just kidding ourself trying to make everything seem ok. But no matter how much pain or how many tears fall down our faces we keep walking forward. No matter the laughter we hear or the hatred that the ones can feel on the back of ones neck. They keep fighting everything around them. But with all there might they can not break the chaines that bind them. THe scares that line there body are on display for all to see. The horror of ones past and preasnt can be to much for ourself but yet they can easyly shield it form others. Protecting them from the truth that ones live day by day and night by night. They may smile like everything is bright and ok but on the nisde they are dying crying and screaming inside. Wanting just for once for someone to hear them. Save them. To understand them. To understand the pain and sadness that they are going through. The hardship that they face every day as they force them self and push them self to breath and look to the next day. They fight all, and may come out the victor but on the inside they are not, they have been broken and defeted.
Sometimes one has to stop and think does it matter. Would other come to stop and think if one person had just vanished from there lifes? Would they even take noticed? Would it matter at all if they took off and made a new life somewhere new and forgot about there past? To forget about everything to make everyone happy. To not be a burrned to life...socity....Would it matter? Would they take notice? For all the so called friends? The so called family. Do you think that they would noticed? Like a pasting shadow or a busy afternoon. None stops to think of the lonely quiet child sitting alone in the dark. The things that can happen in a blink of an eye. The thoughts that can brew in a second... minute....hour...day..month...years....would it matter if they just vanished? Would they care or rejoice?
Is it better to have heartful tears or hurtful tears to know that one is still alive? To know your alive by pain can be good or bad or is it better to keep the numb feeling close to your heart and soul so that none can use you and step all over you and make a fool over you and make one belive that you had something? To be used is to be stabed in the back. To be used is to stab yourself in the heart for been stupied and a fool. You should have been smart. But you were not. You let them in and close to your heart. You trusted them. No matter how hard ones trys you can not go back in time and undo what was done. It was done for a reason. Even with all the rage and angre in ones self will not go away. Nor the pain that was left behind. There is no where to go but forward to the next day. Leave the past in the past. Forget those that are not worth to remember and leave them there. In the dirt. They can not bring anything but pain and tears to oneself. So if one wants to move forward in life and forget about the past and fight to the next day. Forget about the past even if its hard. Forget about it. It does nothing but hold you down and cause one pain and loneness.
One has to live in now with what they have no matter what they try and do. They have to make do and try their best to look to the next day. Fight all that get in there way. No matter even if the darkness seems to be closing in on ones self remember that there is always light in that darkness, all you have to do is find it. Just find the light.
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