You've Already Won
02:31 Jan 24 2015
Times Read: 483
It’s cold, dark and lonely as I swallow my dignity
I torture myself with dreams of what will never be
Lost the key to lock my soul
Exposed; you stole it, buried it deep inside an infinite hole
So, I keep falling more as the seconds go by
Seconds turn into days; ask me how I feel, and I’d lie
Touch me while you twist the knife in the dark
My heart’s a misty, moss-covered, abandoned amusement park
I’m riding high on this rollercoaster called Quarantine
I’m a monster who blames you for the pain,
But you are my caffeine
Each time, I promise an end to the insanity
So, here comes my one-millionth apology
I’m sorry for all the things I’ve said
I can’t get you out of my head
I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done
You are my only one
I’m sorry for all the shit I start
You live inside my heart
I’m sorry for ruining the fun
You don’t have to fight me ‘cause you’ve already won
You’ve already won
It’s warm, tight and ready in this vacant hole
It’s yours always; your eyes, lips and arms pay the toll
But I’m scared you won’t want it ‘cause I can’t draw the line
(So, you don’t make the time)
Please just lie to me, tell me that you wanna be mine
And I keep falling more as the seconds go by
Seconds turn into years; if you cut me off, I’d die
Hold me while I try not to scream
‘Cause I’m an Emmy-winning, loved and hated soap opera queen
I’m riding high on this rollercoaster called Quarantine
I’m a monster who can’t get enough of you; a possessed fiend
In your arms is where I wanna dwell, you’re my holy grail
If it’s a sin to love you, bury me underneath Hell
Each time, I promise an end to the insanity
So, here comes my one-billionth apology
I’m sorry for all the things I’ve said
I can’t get you out of my head
I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done
You are my only one
I’m sorry for all the shit I start
You live inside my heart
I’m sorry for ruining the fun
You don’t have to fight me ‘cause you’ve already won
You’ve already won
If I could just hear your voice, I’d tell you that I’m wrong
If I could just touch your face; my soul’s been bleeding so long
If I could just taste your lips, I’d give all the money for your kiss
But instead you keep me sinking further into abyss
My heart’s hooked up to this morphine drip
I try to keep my cool; walk straight, but I continue to slip
I wanna be yours, but I can’t even be sane
Listen to my heartbeat, it pumps with the sound of your name
Sometimes you cleanse my wounds when I fall
Other times, you’re not there at all, you don’t even hear my call
It’s frightening how without a sound you know me
And how I’d sell my soul to lay entwined with you eternally
I’m riding high on this rollercoaster called Quarantine
I’m a monster. How could I treat you so cruelly?
You’re an ethereal dream
You’ve saved me from myself so many times;
I’m sorry for the way I am
It’s not your fault, and I don’t blame you if you don’t give a damn
‘Cause each time, I promise an end to the insanity
So, here comes my one-zillionth apology
I’m sorry for all the things I’ve said
I can’t get you out of my head
I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done
You are my only one
I’m sorry for all the shit I start
You live inside my heart
I’m sorry for ruining the fun
You don’t have to fight me ‘cause you’ve already won
You’ve already won
Each time you leave, you take my heart with you
I pace back and forth with my soul undead; I’m turning blue
If I die, your name will be the last on my breath
So, please bring me back to life, or give me death
Each time you’re near, I wanna get inside your soul
Only you can fill the void of this invisible hole
I don’t want these games and toys, I just want you around
No matter how lost I get, please search for me ‘til I’m found
Each time, I promise an end to the insanity
So, here comes yet another apology
I’m sorry I’m tainted, flawed, damaged and crazy
But you and only you can heal me, and I’ll be yours forever,
Loyally
COMMENTS
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KarminaTheDarkAngel
22:57 Jan 24 2015
I think u crawled into my soul and took a piece of me .. you and i are so much alike its scarey .. but we always have had that .
I love this .. I cant say how much because if i read it again I will fall apart .
i feel every emotion i know exactly what you are talking about only i could never get it out .. mine comes out more destructive .. thank you for writing this .. it was almost a release for me ..
Love ya
CarmenDarlin
23:24 Jan 24 2015
True, we're like twins. *HUGS*
It was emotional for me to write it, because it's really how I feel and how I've felt for a while now.
Here it looks all neat and tidy (Well, for a psycho bitch like myself anyway), but when it always comes out towards him, it's pretty destructive too. I'm sure if he read this he'd think I'd need to be committed.
KarminaTheDarkAngel
23:44 Jan 24 2015
Haha that makes both of us ..
shall I reserve a room for 2 ?