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The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it... I can resist everything but temptation and how she tempts me...she need not spend a word just in know of her presence is enough appeal to inspire thoughts less then that of innocence.

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Dragonrouge
18:33 Oct 23 2008

Nice quote!

Oscar Wilde is great!

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Perhaps it's time for this boy to take a leave of abscence for awhile. Took a while to come to find myself, to understand whom I was and who I truly am, now (pause) am begining to feel lost again. Perhaps the begining of a New Year does mean new beginnings, and after the aftermath of my lovely start to a New Year perhaps says I shouldn't place off opportunities of now and at meeting people because of a promise made to someone. Instead perhaps those lil' steps should be taken for they may lead to a run of a worthwhile and close new friendship. Anomalous in truth what people do consider to be friendship or even that of love, especially when waves of gestures are made and such turns out being an eye-opening test that you never meant it to be. Perhaps even more out of the ordinary, well maybe sad is more the accurate word to use when you perform such acts of caring and acts of just because and you never recieve such gestures in return, or if you do it's only because you placed them forth first provoking them to do the same in return. Like that of simply texting all those you know in real life and that of internet life just to wish them a Happy New Year and those you have never truly shared time with aside from online are the only few that cared to respond. I was taken by that especially when you have alot of change leant out to those so-called "friends" you interact with on a daily basis, one would think with that they would at least "pretend" to be. I am learning more about myself though, that I'm creodont in the belief of what those tell me and open myself to those willingly leaving I foolish to believe in them and the words the spend so freely. Those who take time in letting others know and doing things at all cost because they care and believe in friendship and/or love are those one needs to keep close to heart, for they are those who bare truth to the signs of true friendship and/or love and are the ones whom truly do care. Thus my belief at perhaps making a resolution that, time should no longer be waited or exhausted on those that place forth no effort in being a friend and instead of opening my heart to those who really don't care, save it for those who honestly and truly do.

You realize only when it's too late...all those shared smiles and lil' hello's while bumping ito one another from time to time, and knowing they are worth your time in getting to know and having them as a closer friend then them only being a mere aquauntance at the select few places you both visit. But as always you shy away and never spend more then that single word "hello" or "how are?" or share that smile in return or make a toast of a drink. In mind you feel and place it off for there shall always be another day to share more in conversation telling yourself, next time, next time. Then a day like this December 31st the day before celebration of a new year you get a phone call informing you that "she" has past on, that she along with her twin sister were killed in an accident involving a drunk driver, and all you have left is why didn't I, why didn't I?

COMMENTS

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ladybriarrose
03:14 Sep 02 2012

This post made me cry. If one knows the feeling then I suspect one can not help to be moved by your words. With the question, "why didn't I?" comes regret. But even as the regret is so bitter I can taste it, somehow I still choose to believe that everything happens for a reason. Thank You for touching me this deeply with your words. Even pain is a good reminder that we are truly alive.

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Once you taste heartache it lingers within and leaves you afraid of it ever happening again. No matter the truths or lies you tell yourself it still resides within your heart reminding you of the hurt once caused. You begin making a new life, a life that’s unreal because you find yourself avoiding the truth. So much wonder, so much confusion but you hold on believing love will conquer all, but does it? Unreasonable how one feels they may know and understand of things without any true knowledge of them, without ever experiencing love and/or heartache before. And how it is one paints what they feel absolute completeness is. Then like that of an artist painting in the rain it flows away, it’s streams of multi-hued color fades and all that’s left is unseen hopelessness. You as the artist try to replace it for you believe in it, but to no avail do you succeed. Thus and so as an artist in the rain do you give up and await a sunny day to try and paint once more or do you give that talent of being an artist up, because you know within what you began to paint that time will never be replaced? Never will the hues of color truly be the same, never will each brush stroke have the same character as it once had, and never will that vision ever be reached. So why is it we attempt to convince our own selves with fantasy and falsehood to cover the confusion that’s been created; is it simply because at truth its up to the heart to decide, and not truly for your own self to?