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Well, this girl I had hooked up with earlier this month ghosted me for no reason. She and I were supposed to meet up yesterday, she said she would let me know what time she would come, but after some time she never texted me back. I asked if she was good? Still no response. I looked at her account and it said zero followers, zero following, 1 post, her profile pic still there. I thought that was weird, maybe she was hacked? I looked for her on snap to see if she had one. She did, I added her, she added me back. I asked her if she was ok, did something happen to her Instagram account? And you know what happened? She blocked me! No reason, no response, just bye. So I put 2 and 2 together and figured she blocked me on instagram too. But what the fuck? WHY? She said she would at least like to have more fun in the future, wanted us to be friends. I mean fuck, I wasn't expecting a romantic relationship with her, I wasn't, i was cool with that. But why for her to all a sudden act this way towards me and ditch me without an explanation? For fucks sake if you dont want to continue having contact with me, at least tell me why! Im so pissed and upset at the same time. I guess I was used again.
Well...she doesn't want a relationship with me. She and I are are looking for different things. Plus she told me she had sex with someone after we had sex...I must admit when we were getting it on, she asked me if I wanted no one else and no one else can touch her, I said yes. her telling me she hooked up with another guy after the things we said to each other that night felt like a punch to my gut. I know I should not be reacting this way, we met on a hookup app for fucks sake so what the fuck was I expecting? I feel like you should not say things to a stranger you just met that indicate you want to get to know him more physically and emotionally if you just step back on what you said and end up fucking another guy afterwards. I guess it was the lust that made her say those things, and I guess lust only clouded my judgement too. Well..she said she still wants to be FWB's at least, least she doesn't have anything personal against me...it seems. I wouldn't mind to fuck again....I'm a lonely person with an almost constantly high sex drive that doesn't really get much "opportunities" with other people, no one to physically release myself to, and only frustration and anxiety builds. I must be a hopeless romantic. I guess i also get easily attached. I can't help my urges though, they just come and go, physical intimacy always looked something very appealing and satisfying to me as long as I can remember. Though an emotional connection would be nice too...
Well...this was rather unexpected. 4 days ago, I was on a niche dating app with only about 1 mil downloads, thinking nobody would like me, when sometime during the day I got a text from a 20 year old girl. She lives in my area about 20 miles north of me, she said hii or whats up, I said nothing much. What are you looking for she asked me, I said either a hookup or a fwb, maybe more. She said she was down. She asked me what do I like, I told her my interests. She meant no in terms of sex (LOL) but those were fine too, she actually likes some of the same stuff as me. I told her my desires and fantasies, how much I love touch. She loves it too. We talked for a little more on the app before she told me to text her on instagram cuz it was easier for her. I asked her if she wanted to meet up, she said she was down. Because of my busy work schedule, I figured the earliest she could see me was the night after work. We exchanged pictures on instagram and she said I was cute, I asked if I could see photos of her since her profile only had 2 pics. She showed me some more, and I told her I thought she was hot, which she liked. I already forgot what drove her to calling me that, but she started calling me love (easily attached? Oh well I dont mind) when we started talking. I told her I didn't have a car but I did have a liscene which I had just gotten 2 days prior to that conversation. I was worried she was going to reject me...but she was fine with that! She could drive to me. We agreed on a plaza parking lot next to my neighborhood at 11 PM. She said she would come see me after she was done with a concert she was at (wont say where or what band as to not give away my exact location). When it was over, she texted me that she frantically was cleaning her car and needed gas. I told her where I would be waiting. I sat on the grass listening to Anthrax, when I heard a female voice call out my name (we told each other our real names). I got up and walked towards her while she was parking. She got out of her car and we talked for 10 minutes about ourselves, how the concert went, told me she thought I was cute, what music we liked, jobs, pets, parents/grandparents, the type of stuff you would expect from a first meeting. I told her it was my first time doing this kind of thing and she said she felt honored. A little after that, she asked if I wanted to go to the back seat of her car with her, I said sure. We got in the car, we talked more about ourselves....then she grabbed my hand and held it. She then put it on her thigh. We talked more, before my mind froze trying to think of what else to say, when she smiled at me and asked whats up...and we started making out. What happened from there? Well, you already know. We got it on for an hour, me occasionally checking to make sure no one would come up to the car and see us, only for her to tell me its alright baby and bring me back down with her. During the encounter, she said things that indicated she wanted me, not only physically but it seemed also socially. Eventually we had to stop because she needed to be home or her parents would get on her ass for being out late. We hugged and kissed one last time goodbye, she told me to text her when I got home. When I did, I told her I had an amazing time, she did too. She said she already missed me and can't stop thinking of me, called me love again. I had only known this stranger for only 2 days..and already I had developed feelings for her romantically, forgetting who I was dating last, and we are already telling each other we love and miss each other. We plan to meet again this weekend, but earlier in the day so we have more time with each other. Shes been checking on me, asking hows work, have I eaten, how am i feeling or doing, talking about the things we did that night, how she desires me and me only. That she misses me. Did she and I fall in love too fast? Probably. Will this even work out? Well, we'll see, I asked her if she would ever like to go out with me and she gladly would. She is single after all; I get the feeling she would say yes if I asked her if we could be official. I know to some reading this right now this seems all fucked up, a possible romantic relationship has or might evolve(d) because of a hookup "see this is whats wrong with dating today! Arrggghhhh!" Well, you have a right to your opinion and feelings, so I guess I can't really judge anyone if they want to judge me. But I feel nothing but extreme positive feelings for someone once again, not wanting to fuck this up and learn from my mistakes. If ultimately it doesn't work out between us? Well...least I finally got my sexual frustrations out for once in a while.
I love these games so fucking much, even Codename 47 and Absolution...though Absolution is more replayable than C47. BEST STEALTH SERIES EVER!!! Or at least one of. Loved these games since I was a kid, Blood Money especially. Agent 47 is so cool...hes like me sort of in ways LMAO. David Bateson was the perfect man for the role, though I wish he played 47 in the movies :( The first Hitman movie I actually liked, yea it was more action than stealth orientated, but it was good enough for me. The second one was just ok. I really hope if they make another movie, it better be a more stealthy type film, not action (though perhaps there can maybe be a few action scenes) with 47 sneaking around and killing his targets and guards in various ways. And have Bateson play him in the movie! I don't care if hes old, it be more fitting if the OG was the one actually playing the character that was almost made for him in a way. Fuck I dont know, maybe use CGI or makeup or special effects or whatever to make him look younger. Or hey, maybe have the plot centered around 47 when hes older and near the end of his career for good, but also wants to fullfil some sort of redemption arc? Some sense of closure? Acceptance? I guess it would be a little cliche maybe, but shit we need a PROPER Hitman movie already!
Update 9/13/25: Played Contracts again, did Traditions Of The Trade suit only, sniper, got silent assassin rating just barely PHEW. So satisfying though, unlocking new weapons :)
Bunch of shit
04:50 Sep 11 2025 Times Read: 260
Well...a bunch of shit has happened today it seeems. Well, for one, I passed my drivers test on the first try. Well...that wasn't so hard now was it? I feel so fucking happy for once, I feel like i've actually accomplished something useful in my life. God....I just wish I had this all done in high school, or fuck even after getting hired at my job within the first 3 years. But I can't rely on my family it seems in that department. Also, Charlie Kirk got killed today...weird? But I guess im also not too surpised. I never really cared for him. But you know whats funny? My ex has a playlist of his debates on her youtube, like a couple. You know what? I hope she was infuriated and pissed off! LOL. Theres no negotiating or reasoning with her for how toxic and emotionally berating she was towards me. Fuck her, I hope she and her little church/bible group are pissed off. Funny how in the span of a couple months she went from the guy that shot Trump should have aimed better, to voting for him in the election. I don't even remember the reasons she told me as to why she had a change of heart. When she asked why I didn't vote I said because I do not care about politics in general, I just don't. "But you should at least vote because your a citizen" or whatever the fuck it was she said, something like that. I mean...I hinted to her throughout our relationship Im not really into politics in general unless to just study and research them for fun, that I never really leaned with either the left or right, but I am more apolitical and anarchist leaning...which is post left I think, but I don't care. Fuck she told me she one time during the begenning of our relationship that shes an anarchist, can't remember what we were talking about to her to bring that up.
You know, I can almost guarantee that if money, one of the main things that keeps this world running, were to just disappear (or at least be a contributing factor)...civilized society would collapse, it would be a state of violent anarchy and people would show their true colors, their human nature, do whatever to survive, or whatever they pleased. If nothing had any value, then what would be the point of trying to barter when you can just take it for yourself? Yes there would probably be fights to the death over what used to have monetary value, but thats just how it would be! You can't change human nature. Money is just another tool for social control, and if in a hypothetical world where money whether bills or coins was to be wiped from the face of the earth, people would see what ever actions they want or wanted to take are no longer legally restricted from doing so, and are in essence free. Bleak? sure, but its realistic.
My friend got his car fixed, we went out to that Italian place he wanted to take me, it was good :) We went back to my place and watched Rush Hour (I don't usually like comedys, but I can make exceptions depending how much they make me laugh). I hadn't watched it in like 2 or 3 years, he loved it lol. Gonna show him the sequel next time and maybe 3 too. Good ass food and good ass movie, what else can I say? Oh, and good ass game...I played me some Hitman 2 Silent Assassin (an oldie but goldie)...Invitation To A Party....tried a different approach of eliminating my target and how I entered the premises. Used a knife, got Silent Assassin rating :D I love trying different approaches in Hitman, they are so fun.
COMMENTS
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MorgenxStern
01:22 Oct 02 2025
Move on