The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I always find myself as the advisor. I think and accept this as my life role. Counselor. Psychological distributor of norms and psuedonorms. It's getting old. Perhaps if I didn't surround myself with complete kooks I wouldn't have this to whine about. My two best friends are at each others throats because of my affection towards one - but not the other. I'll call best friend 1 "M" and best friend 2 "K". BF1 and I have been friends for over a decade. I think his feelings are running deeper for me than friendship however, as he has told me this. BF2 currently lives with me as I help her out in a few different ways. I do not feel the same way for BF1 as he does for me. I have tried intimacy with him on a few different levels in an experimental attempt to gauge my emotionalometer. It doesn't work. His level of dedication frightens me away as well. BF2 is very dedicated as well, yes, but it is different in some intangible way.



Perhaps I am incapable of loving someone the way I have been loved by others. I think this daily. I am not low because of this fact, it just Is. I am not scared of a life of solitude. I welcome the independence to do as I please, and to have nobody to "report" to in doing so.



I cannot find that happy balance ppl talk about in "compromising" within a relationship.



I walk the line, but I'm stumbling over hearts on the way...

This was a great dream for me becuase it didn't have me or anyone I knew involved in it. All people and places and times were unbeknownest to me. Here goes (any interpretation and/or insight is gravely desired!!!): :: :



Three siblings were the main characters, the oldest was male, about 16 or 17 perhaps. The middle child was female, perhaps around 13 or 14. The youngest was also female, she was perhaps 5 or 6.



They were all on a cruise ship which began pitching and heaving in a strange reticular fashion, very mesh-like and logically impossible in any ocean. They were gripping the sides of the ship (not port or starboard, just in the middle) in an attempt to not get tossed over like so many other passengers were. A gigantic tidal wave would come from behind them so they braced themselves forward for stability, then another tidal wave came from the side of them so they gripped the rails straight-on to try to ride the wave.



They all were dispersed into the sea after their efforts to remain on deck.



They were all affected in different ways after this event however; the elder boy was enlightened to a state of hermit-like residence on a wood raft structure in what seemed to be a swamp. It wasn't stinky however, just where he had chosen to live out his life in a monk-like peace.



The mid-child girl was relocated as well but to where, I do not know.



The youngest child, she went to visit her brother in his solace. She remained in the water after being tossed however, and affected some kind of water magick that allowed her to converge with all ocean life and to travel anywhere she wished simply by following the tide.



When she reached her brother's domain, he looked down into the water and saw her face muddled about a foot or two, distorted slightly from the water's movement. She was coming up from the ocean floor and during her ascent her face had a silvery shimmer to it, with salamanders (or some other small water-dweller) streaking off of her face, maybe not coming out of her pores directly because they were life-size (2-3 inches long) and she had an equal amount slithering down her cheeks on both sides. The areas around the creatures were glittering and I felt like she had become something not-of-this-world, like she had evolved past enlightenment and into a realm of controlling innocence after suffering potential drowning.



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: End





The image of that young girl shimmying up to just-below the water surface will never leave my mind, I like to think of it as a good luck dream , of not only overcoming odds but of rising above and beyond mortal expectations, something I am always concerning myself with....



Thoughts/opinions??? I do so look forward to this community's comments!



Thank you for reading my dream

~mindless