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I feel really pissy tonight. >.< dlakdfjslskadfjas;dflkasd;lska;ldfkwpoerewpork4waelzdx i cant drive my car for weeks.

soo this whole weekend, i didnt get to see Eldon. I was soo sad. :( he was sick the whole time. -.- i guess i believe him to an extent. oh well... its wednesday! i dont work.

flkasjflaskfja blah blah. i hate work. thats all :) have a good day ya'll

i have a lot on my mind. soo i'm just going to dump it here. :) if you don't like please don't comment.



soo when i was younger, about 14ish, the thought of being a boy came and sat in my mind. I didn't think anything of it. It was when i was discovering myself and my sexuality and everything. That was also when I was just down in the dumps about everything and did self harm and what not. Well, that was like six years ago. The thought of becoming a boy is back and I really want to try it out. like not do the whole process, but start it. I've thought about this more in my mind than actually talking about it. I did tell Darrell and she's been there for me no matter how crazy i am. I think I'd be happier as a boy than i am right now. It's just me. I've been following a couple trans guys on youtube and their stories fascinate me. One of them has gone through the whole thing and he actually looks like a guy. and he's on a waiting list to get top surgery and bottom surger and i'm just amazed with him. anyway... I want to do this whole amazing journey to become a guy. If i do it i can't look back. I have to look forward. darrell and i were talking about names and everything and we came up with Liam Alexander for me. ^_^ noww if only i could tell my mom this and my family and have them hate me and disown me. that's about it for my mind dump. it's really bothering me and i dont have many people to talk to about this touchy subject. most would try to talk me out of it. i havent started anything yet, but i want to. :)



have a good night everyone.

pretty sure i make the worst girl EVER. i'm such a crybaby. Eldon told me he didnt want to see me. and darrell's doing stuff with kellcey today. and all my family's stupid. and i miss my car! i just wana crawl in a hole and cry.

skfjaldskfjaesklfjads he said i could see him today! i'm beginning to think he doesnt want to see me at all.

my family's here. -.- ugh! it's gonna be a long night. and i have no car because it got really super hot and water was coming out. soo no car till whenever they decide to fix it. I miss darrell and kellcey already!

scratch seeing eldon today. :( slkjadfslkfjasltrkjworijuewrkmdsanf my life sucks

COMMENTS

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Enrapture
17:42 Apr 23 2011

At least you see your friends~



I've only hung out with any of mine once in two months.

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MyBleedingReaction
22:46 Apr 23 2011

well, mister! come see me!

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sooo darrell and kellcey invited me to the movies lastnight. I would've went, but it was the four of them (kellcey and jeff, and darrell and zack). I would've felt so out of place. :P so i didnt go. they took brooklyn and landon(kellcey's sister and little friend). andrew threw a huge fit cause he wanted to go to the movies and i told him no cause all they would do is make out. he got mad at me. and i didnt get to see Eldon, but he promised me i'd get to see him today. :) happy day! have a good day ya'll. ♥

got to see darrell and kellcey for a little while tonight. and zack and jeff. we drove around. woo! wasted my gas. :P I miss eldon! I might get to see him tonight. I'm excited. :)

i slept with the bandage on lastnight and i felt really good. I woke up this morning and tried to it get tighter, but it didnt work out that well. :P It took me 45 minutes to get that stupid thing back on. I hope it doesnt take me that long all the time to put it on.



have a good day ya'll

soo...my boobs hurt all the time. no joke. today Darrell, Kellcey, and I went to walmart and got chips, dip, and a bandage. when we got home, i went to go to try it on, and well it didnt work that well. after the girls left i went go to put it on and it worked! I felt good. My boobs didnt hurt at all. After I took a shower i put a bigger one on and i think ill be good for a whiel. :) I cant go have them checked out because itll be another medical bill over my head. anyway... hope you all have a good night. ♥

sadklfjsladkfjdaslijas sklksklsdkldskldskl i have tomorrow off. and eldon's coming home this weekend! im excited.

whoa havent been on here for like three days. sorry guys. it's been an okay weekend. and i cant wait til eldon comes home this weekend! I have this entire weekend off. i'm stoked. the whole gang will be back. ^_^

i got to see Darrell twice today. :) once when she was walking out of the breakroom, and when she bought her pop. it made me happy. ♥

good day at work. (: .f/k.dslf;laskdf;df good supper. yucky day out. its raining and its cold. ew.

...I may look strong but in reality I'm probably the weakest person you know.

blah blah. :P we're going to sioux falls today in an hour and a half. woohoo! after andrew pushed me lastnight i told her i wasnt going to sioux falls. my entire face hurts so do my ears!



have a good day everyone ♥

I took a nap today. It was nice. tomorrow we're going to sioux falls for andrew's dentist appointment. woo!

long day. i'm super glad i have the next two days off. -.- Jackie told me i couldnt chew gum anymore. she's had customers complain about me chewing gum. bullshit. i had this kid spill his stupid candy all over the floor. glad it wasnt milk. i had this guy tell me not to touch his donughts with my filthy hands. pretty sure i wasn't even touching them. I was counting them to see how many he had. im spending the whole day at home tomorrow, and then to sioux falls for andrew's dentist appointment wednesday!

saw dylan and his mom today. It made me smile. :) -dylan stops- dylan's mom: keep walking. -dylan walks- I love you guys. ♥



and a gallon of milk broke on my register and i had to clean it up. -.- it took a half hour to clean it up.

soo i got to talk to eldon for about 20 minutes lastnight and then he told that ashly was back and he'd talk to me later. I was soo sad.



I got up this morning and everything on me hurts. :P and i work till 7 tonight. sfkjsdlfkjdslfkjlasdfk ugh! have a good day everyone.

im tired. -.- and my eldon is back on! i missed him soo much. it's been a long week without him!

soo glad im off work. i'm pooped out. :P

darrell spent the night lastnight. it was nice to hasve someone to talk to when we went to bed. We talked for a couple hours about everything. to smokes,pot, and alcohol to britany and love. loved it. :)

Your rating has been applied, but your comment has been stripped. Antichrist has you on their block list.



aha my comment was "Thanks for the one. Here's one back!"

I'm not sure if I like Zach. I hung out with him and Darrell lastnight for a couple hours and he didnt say anything, just sat there with her between his legs. I guess if she's happy, I really can't do anything, just go along for the ride.

im tired. -.- asldkjfadslkfjwrjuaerwpaeson i have tomorrow off. :D woohoo!

french fries ♥

my flight is booked to New York! I'm excited! :D

I got to hang out with Darrell, Kellcey, Jeff, Marissa, her friends, Brook, Katie, Johnny, and Dylan tonight. I love my life. ♥

we put a bunch of money in my account today for our tickets to New York. I'm super excited. We could take the train for 450 dollars. I wana take the train! I think we're going to fly though.

i'm super tired. -.- Darrell's back in town! I'm excited to see her. :)

I love drunks. :P

my eyes hurt.

I'm kind of worried about Eldon. I havent talked to him since early yesterday. I hope he's okay.

COMMENTS

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Sovereigns
22:47 Apr 02 2011

He's probably getting engaged again.

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MyBleedingReaction
04:08 Apr 03 2011

I dont think so. :P His girlfriend is amazing.

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Happy april first ya'll. :) enjoy the rest of the day. ^_^



I got told i was technically gay yesterday. is that weird? i'm soo not gay.