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with what words could i ever come out and say what i wish to say?... with what actions could i ever do what i wish to do.. there is much to say and do and i feel that there is not enough time... to be married to have another child and to have a life and the famliy i have wanted is all at my fingertips and promised to happened but i am scared . i am scared of what i know and what i do not know, i am scared of what the future holds for us and i am scared of being hurt yet again and just as bad i cant go threw that again i cant have that feeling not with my children becoming a mother has changed me so much and how i think and what i want and now knowing that another grows inside me i know that i have limited time to get things in order and get things straight so i am pushing what i want and i am willing to do what i must to make a good life for my children i just hope i can make it